Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by SLIPZ19, May 16, 2016.

  1. SLIPZ19

    SLIPZ19 Fapstronaut

    Hey Guys,

    So as the title suggests (and my signature) I am now 78 days into my longest streak. I feel great about this achievement, but otherwise I still feel pretty sloppy in general, hence why I am writing this post.

    Under 'success stories' I am reading about guys who have hit 30 days and are basically Kings and I have hit double that time and still feel so desperate as ever when it comes to women. The other day I read a post about a guy who made 45 days and is basically a better player than CR7 and Leo Di Caprio combined and I'm like WTF, am I doing something wrong???? These 'success stories' are suppose to motivate us but it seems to be doing the exact opposite for me!! Overtime I read about someone's success after just 30 days I feel so down and despondent:((...I'll admit that a big part of joining NoFap is so that I can change my approach to women and I really hope to find love and happiness (like most of you here). I know that we don't run the same race, but I am nearing 90 days and I am just not really seeing all these awesome improvements I keep reading about - I am even beginning to question how honest many posts really are.

    I'll share some background so you can have a basis to further understand my situation;

    - I have been fapping for 10 years now and PMOíng for maybe 6 of those years. I never really had an addictive issue with porn, however I have watched ALOT.

    - I am 24 years and I have never had a GF before and only ever slept with one woman (who I didn't even like).

    - I am struggling with a bit of a weed addiction - trying to kick the habit. This may also be why my energy levels have not changed??? and why I have not yet had a nocturnal emission.

    So I would just like to know if there are any others out there who have been well into 60-90 days and have still not seen any changes??? Would be great to hear if there is still some hope and that I just need to push on? Right now I just feel like NoFap really isn't working for me.

  2. Yes, I'm sure there are some bollocks posts here, just like everywhere. People love attention, and will attain it by false means sometimes. Spend any time on facebook and it's plain. Embellished posts are common. "Had a gourmet meal this afternoon with some fabulous people!" No, you ate a tuna sandwich at your mom's house at the kitchen table lol. Thanks, facebook. ;)

    Rebooting is not linear, mate. Different amounts of time and success for different people. I'm over a year no pmo and I'm still sorting through many things. But you seem to be putting emphasis on stopping pmo to get birds. Having relationship success involves a lot more than stopping porn and wanking. That's step one.

    What have you done to make yourself appealing? Education, witty, approaching, good conversation skills, interesting things to offer, grooming...hells bells, mate, there's a metric crap ton to consider. And, yes, I'd venture a weed problem is not doing you any favors.
    SLIPZ19 and docker like this.
  3. Awakening123

    Awakening123 Fapstronaut

    I am in same boat as you. The urges are still there at this stage. I always thought they will disappear after 60+ days but that is not the case. I guess the deeper roots the addiction has in you, the longer it will take to recover.

    Another thing to keep in mind is those who post success stories after 30 or 60 days aren't full recovered. They are posting them because that is the first time ever they have been PMO free ever since they started masturbating. Even I posted one when I was at 45 days. Going 30 or 60 days doesn't guarantee full recovery; it merely tells us that we can go farther than this.

    Be cautious of your mind at this stage. It will do whatever it takes to make you think this isn't working and pull you back into the vicious cycle of addiction again. Some days are gonna be good; some days not so but recovery is just around the corner. Now that could be 90 days, 100 days or even 180 days, we don't know; only time will tell.

    Bottom line is don't let yourself think that way because that would only end in disaster. Keep on fighting and the light is almost there right in front of you.
    Last edited: May 16, 2016
    SLIPZ19 and Nom De Plume like this.
  4. Nom De Plume

    Nom De Plume Fapstronaut

    I second this. This middle part seems especially treacherous. Convincing rationalizations about why you should stop bothering with this or subtle urges that lurk and grow in the background of the mind. Things were more straightforward, out in the open, and in some ways easier at the beginning. I hope I make it long enough to see an end to this phase.

    I also don't have a lot of objective improvements to report. Closer to the beginning I had a big boost in confidence but that seems to have tapered off. But one thing I can still see is how much more I like myself and how much better I feel about myself for having made it this far.

    Don't give up, let's see how long this dark night of addiction lasts and get through to the other side.

    SLIPZ19 and Awakening123 like this.
  5. SLIPZ19

    SLIPZ19 Fapstronaut

    ˆˆThis quote pretty much sums up my situation. I was feeling really confident about NoFap for the first 30 days or so and then like u said, it kinda wore off. This is kinda the crucial part I think as the 2nd post was explaining as my mind is trying to turn against me, so now this OP of mine is a reflection of the doubt that has crept in. Hell last night I was so close to getting off via a Prostitute and I was trying to justify it by telling myself that this NoFap thing isn't working - luckily I didn't and I haven't relapsed either.

    Thank-you so much everyone for the responses. To the 1st post, I am working on my 'weed problem' and will curb smoking during the week for now (baby steps). Thanks also for the encouragement from everyone, I will keep my head up and venture on....
  6. Hi,

    I'm over 50 days in now and I too am still experience fatigue and anxiety, a bit of depression even. It's normal you know. Your body needs a lot of time to recover after years and years of non-stop bad habits. It's an addiction, PMO, and often severe enough to trigger all sorts of problems, especially fatigue. Suddenly you stop PMO and your body doesn't know how to respond. Your hormones are out of whack. Hence all of the effects. But I'm quite sure you already feel better than you did when you just relapsed. Think back to that day... how did you feel? You felt worse than you do now, I'm quite sure of it. No matter how small the improvements, embrace them. Things change and the success stories are real. Eventually your body will forgive you and recover from the mess you made. It will. Don't give up now! You will have to go through the entire rebooting process again if you do. A year from now you will be looking back at this post feeling born again.
    You need to be strong now. PMO is nothing. Give it at as long as you need, 9 months, a year, whatever it takes. It's a long time but your body will thank you for it.
    SLIPZ19 likes this.
  7. Calvinklein

    Calvinklein Fapstronaut

    What you guys are saying is absolutely true. And yeah something is wrong about it. What i have learned from my time trying to fight pmo and becoming better is that nofap itself doesnt have many benifit. But the real benifit comes from other stuffs. While i was pmoing whole day i used to think about porn used to lie down on my bed pmo all day. My mind was porn.

    But the most successful period of my nofap was the first month of my nofap. Why was it the best? Becoz i had that determination. I had thought about it for days. N when i did leave pmo i added other things to my life. If you leave pmo n lie down in bed all day you will have the same energy level as before. What i did was force myself to do something productive. I started some work out, a little cleaning, a little walk. N thats what gave me the energy. Do anything but dont just sit there. Washing dishes dosnt sound pretty but it does give your body some work and your body will thank you for it. Sure i didnt like doing those things but i kept forcing myself and later it became a habit. I couldnt talk to any girl before. I forced myself to send a random girl a text message. It was scary and it turned out to be a stupid conversation and she didnt reply me than after. But i forced myself to send another girl a text. Slowely i learned from it. And i talked with multiple girls at a time and trust me the convos started getting smoother. Nofap gonna help you talk to a girl? No mate. But with nofap comes other activities that you must change in your life.
    Hope it helps you all.
    SkinnyBeard and SLIPZ19 like this.

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