8 Days Free But Now I Just Want Some P

You know I am starting day one tomorrow with my best guy friend, and it is a daily challenge. He was at day ten, and took his eyes of the end goal and messed up. So my advice is to keep your end goal in mind, of that of wanting to stop completely, and try to work towards that.

 

Don't do it.

 

First of all congratulations on meeting your goal.
I think the truth is your opinion is the only one that really matters. So you have to answer your own question whether you want to PMO or not. Maybe you can imagine forward 2 different scenarios. How are you gonna feel after you have a Porn session and masturbate? How are you going to feel if you decide not to have a session and set another goal of 9, 10 or 14 days and then make that goal?

If you are asking the question I can only speak from my experience which is if I get through the urge and don't masturbate to porn I almost always feel better. And for the last few years especially once the orgasm rush is over I always feel guilty after a porn session. This was true for me long before I ever found this forum.
So I would encourage you not to PMO.
I would like to know what you decide and how that affected you if you don't mind sharing that.
regardless I wish you the best and hope that whatever decision you make it is the right one for you at this time.
( But really I hope you don't do it )

 

One of the key things you will have to learn, and imo is the hardest, is to stop thinking of porn as a reward or a pick-me-up. As those that have adviced me have told me: "your brain wants a dopamine kick, and it'll do all it can to get it" in this case your dopamine kick is porn. So part of "rewiring" is replacing the reward mechanism we use to give ourselves a pick-me-up to something other then porn. It can be anything you want except porn and anything sexualized. Some ideas are desserts (just as long as you don't develop a sweets addiction), listening to music, buying yourself some new threads, sleep (for me personally when I am in a rut sleeping it off helps), video games.

I know it's tough man. Easier said then done. After all you reached your milestone didn't you? I used to use porn as a reward and a pick-me-up, and have been slowly rewarding myself in other ways and cheering myself up in other ways.

So don't relapse. You'll thank yourself later.

 

Hello DarkTunnel,

That choice is up to you my friend. Either choice is neither wrong or right. If you think PMO isn't going to hinder your progress in other areas then I don't see the big issue. The real problem is if PMO has affected you negatively in other ways. In the end only you know what's best for you.

If I were you, I'd try to think about what positive things you have gotten from abstaining from PMO in the last week. Compare yourself between last week and this week. Investigate whether it has made a positive impact on your life so far. What are you goals in the long run? Answering these questions will help you make the right decision.

Again, the choice is up to you. We're always going to be here to support you whatever decision you make.

Good luck and all the best.

 

All of us are free to PMO and PMO some more to our heart's content.
We are here because we want to stop so we can improve our lives.

 

The pressure and lack of motivation can get intense. Do your best to resist it. If you fall be sure to get back up again. I think most are here because they have learned the lesson that porn is not helping them in the long run. You can do this man!

 

I'd just like to chime in and say I can relate to a lot of what you've written. Sometimes I feel like I'm counting the days till the next fix.

It's almost like this... have you ever been on a one day fast, I mean, there's literally nothing you can think about except eating, you're so freaking hungry, you can feel you stomach rumbling and you find yourself watching tv shows where they are cooking delicious juicy steak, and all the while I'm thinking damn after I've finished this fast I'm gonna tuck into a nice juicy steak, maybe some honey glazed bbq pork ribs, with chips and a coleslaw side.

So I think abstaining from porn is the same EXCEPT it is this dopamine reward that isn't really a reward. I mean sure we get that hit but, damn look at the cost. Anxiety, lack of eye contacts, some fuckers are hooked on transgendered person porn, I mean that's how bad it has escalated.

What I will say, set incremental goals, 7 days 14, 30 days then 45 days then 60 days then 90. And don't beat yourself too much if you make the goal then reset.

What I've found is every milestone I've hit I go that little bit further the next time. And all those days NoFap just before a relapse are not without its benefits. I mean straight after a relapse oh man, do you feel down. But look at what you've learnt up to that point.

Here are my survival tips advice for moving forward.

1. You gotta be strict. Nofap means no PMO, no soft porn, no wild fantasies, no late night TV channels where there are girls sat naked with a phone in their hands. If there's a hot girl you have to talk to and she arouses your ass, look away and take your mind somewhere else. Any trigger is bad. Don't trick yourselves.

2. Set micro goals, this includes everyday tasks as well as nofap. If your on a 60nofap milestone, think of it is smaller steps, right 'I gotta get to day 7' that's all I think about. Same with work, instead of saying I gotta write an essay, say I'm gonna complete the introduction in half an hour. That's all you think about. This helps believe me.

3. At some point you should notice heightened aggression, use this wisely, go lift, get out. If you have no friends go out by yourself and talk. Make this a habit join extra groups, study a language, get fit, do life drawing lessons, join a salsa club. Just get out there whatever floats your boat.

4. Talk to all girls, fat, ugly, whatever... Girls are girls. I know you're just used to noticing the hot ones but the lesser attractive girls have a lot to offer you in terms of experience.

5. Lastly, make sure you hit your targets, that's why it is essential to set them in a manageable way. If this is your first time NoFap forget 90 days hard mode as your first goal. It's not gonna happen unless you're superhuman. Set an easier goal. 7 days say. BUT make sure you hit that goal at all costs.

6. Meditation... Yeah I passed it off as new age bullshit, but setting aside 10 minutes before bed and just as you wake up does wonders. Try to think of nothing, nothing-ness no thoughts enter your head. Just focus on the present.

Eventually, you'll find your mood improving, although there will be bad bad days, like severe depression, don't worry, this is all part of the process.

Enjoy the process, start living, and start finding new avenues to replace dopamine as a reward circuit. The rest, as they say, is history.

Good luck.

 

That's all good mate. I'm glad nofap helped, just don't let PMO trap you and wreck your life. I agree, that first time I had relapsed after I had abstained for nine days was incredible, but again, I didn't feel good afterward.
Overall, if you want to stop nofap for while, just be careful, because I know how hard it is not to get addicted to the habit.
All the best to you mate, and thanks for helping me out on my journey.