89 days my friends. Get out of your head!

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by PeterGrip, Apr 11, 2021.

  1. PeterGrip

    PeterGrip Fapstronaut

    You could say that people go through a transition when they journey through NoFap. I want to talk about my 'transition' here. If you are isolated due to covid, or if you in general do not interact with other people, then you are a lot like me. Everyone who is going through nofap in a time like this, where your normal ways to get busy simply are not an option anymore, should know how much space PMO can take up in your mind. For weeks and weeks I've been by myself physically. And in this period, I'd dive deep into my thoughts, criticize everything about myself, and life in general as a human (as you will realize if you read my journal). It was not really until I saw some people and had actual conversations that I realized how much I had changed since the start of NoFap. So the most noticeable change for me has definitely been my social skills. I don't know how much I can credit NoFap for, but I can say that it is the breeding ground for creativity. You can find ways to meet people. And you should do it! Personally, my views of myself and those around me have changed drastically. I've dared to meet women (and so can you), and I have learned so much about them, and in turn, about myself. Women have been strange and frightening creatures to me all my life, and I'm finally starting to understand them. I have to emphasize, this could not have happened without interacting with them.

    What I'm describing is in no way a universal problem, and your own personal issues might not be the same. I want to point that out, because NoFap will help you to understand and solve those problems you have that you might not even know about.

    I'm a very neurotic person at times, and I think chatting in this forum has not helped that issue at all (not that I'm blaming the forum, I'm merely addressing my own issues). To explain: it is now my belief that the subconscious mind continuously evaluates and frames your current situation, and I also believe your emotions are based on that frame. Your conscious mind will most of the time not be able to alter your emotions whatsoever, although I'm not saying it's impossible to do so! My point is, what is a much more effective way to change how you feel is to change that frame. And since that frame is based on your surroundings, you will have to physically act to make an impact on yourself. PMO will paralyze you, you are not going to want to act when your nuts are drained. Why would you? You keep emptying your balls, of course you need to lie down and recover! But who wants to lie down all the time?

    In other words, it's great to get on here and reflect on your situation, but it's not going to do anything by itself. Similar to this, think about the content of self-help videos or books. What good is that knowledge if you do not apply it?

    This is of course my personal view, but whether this resonates with you or not, I hope you find it useful.
  2. Congrats man, some great words of motivation and inspiration. That's definitely what I needed to read today.
  3. frere

    frere Fapstronaut

    Congatulations! I never thought about the impact of social distancing during nofap but can only imagine it making the journey harder! Good job on ulling through! I really liked your writing style and its clarity! Do think that ability to express yourself so clearly and structred stems from nofap or has that been something you always could do?
  4. PeterGrip

    PeterGrip Fapstronaut

    Thank you, and I'm glad you liked it.

    Wow thank you! It actually means a lot to me to get a compliment like that. Yes, I would say it is a skill that has improved quite a lot for me during nofap. But it's also something I put a lot of work into, both as an academic student and through things like posting here. I think nofap has helped me to express myself better, because I'm building my own 'truth', and it's one that I actually believe in.

    This is in contrast to my previous mindset, where I would believe the world is idealistic, and that there is a single truth, and somehow every other person speaks from that truth. I would constantly try to fit the behavior of those around me into this ideal model. This is insane, obviously. You might say that is a symptom of low confidence, but I would actually disagree, because for me it was that I did not understand that your intentions are deeply connected to your emotional state, and therefore I could not connect my attempt to model human behavior to something subjective like confidence. Writing this out makes it sound obvious, but if you understand that, then you could say that what anyone says is grounded in their subjective views, and subsequently, when applying the 'truth' someone might outline to you to your model, you have to consider their emotional state. It also means that your own truth is worth exploring and expressing, as it is equally valid.

    Haha I think I went off on a tangent, but in any case if it's something you feel inspired by, you should know that your thoughts are equally as valid as everyone else, and the more you express yourself, the more accurate you will become.

    And yeah social distancing is making it harder for sure. I really want to emphasize that interacting with people in real life is not optional, you have to do it to calibrate yourself! (Or at least I had to).

    Edit: I think I missed the main point why nofap has helped me write better, it's simply that by not watching porn I've had the space to realize the things I've listed above. When PMO'ing, your mind just shuts down instead.
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2021
    Garek and frere like this.
  5. Mr Rn

    Mr Rn Fapstronaut

  6. frere

    frere Fapstronaut

    That makes sense! I think i get what you are talking about and how you can express your thoughts clearer if you possess a
    stable and congruent perspective on your life/ personality/ yourself/ selfworth and so on.

    So next to the ability to understand yourself better and creating a clearer truth for yourself the free headspace and time have helped you as well! Nice :)
  7. PeterGrip

    PeterGrip Fapstronaut

    Uhhh yeah sounds about right! :D
  8. TheFlash123

    TheFlash123 Fapstronaut

    Nice progress.

    I would like to add one point to the books section.
    I just read one quote today "reading books for as little as 6 minutes everyday can actually decrease the stress as much as 50%". It doesn't look related to Nofap, but because of COVID, many people might have stress from WFH, and this could be helpful for them.
  9. A8X

    A8X Fapstronaut

    This is so true and it is my biggest motivator to make efforts stopping PMO. I am tired of being tired and unmotivated.
    Abstergo likes this.
  10. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

    Appreciate you sharing your story man!

    This quote above resonates with me quite a bit. I made an effort to meet a small number of women in the last month, and have to say I've learnt more about them than 12 months of a passive lifestyle I used to have.

    Books, friends, youtube gurus, all may help. But it's crazy how real world experiences, both successes and failures (we learn from both) are still the best teacher!
  11. PeterGrip

    PeterGrip Fapstronaut

    Yeah, I think that some words spoken by others only truly make sense after you've experienced it first hand yourself.
    Reborn16 likes this.
  12. Always Keep Going

    Always Keep Going Fapstronaut

    Heya, remember me?

    I have come to see that you have achieved a commendable 90 days of abnegating creative sexuality which, if you remember what I had expounded, results from extenuating the inexorable, primitive inclination to one which harbors the way of the 'red pill' - a life that is less indulged in the ways of a mindless sybarite who finds himself in common society yet produces nothing out of this beneficient gift except a stronger connection to dissolution. Without digressing too heavily on past discussion, I just want to applaud you for reaching the standard benchmark and elaborate upon your notion of making a "willful choice" (through the vocation of wisdom and willpower, which would obviously be encumbered if you had not dispensed the exhausting effect of participating provincially in a cycle of relapse and remission). While we may differ in our perspectives of salience regarding female attraction, we may both not disavowal the essence of experience and wisdom that can be gained by walking into painful settings, those which are sinuous enough to incite confusion yet offer a chance for the development of the unconscious, which in turn has its immanent properties that influence the overall perspective(s) we have towards life itself (perhaps, as you mentioned rather sententiously, through amending emotional response and the underpinning "frame" which houses all introspective processes).

    Good on you for deferring the pertinacious self that finds and accepts the mind's limitations, perhaps now you understand, at least better without the obfuscation of Pmo and pursuit of transient, sensational pleasures, how little you have come to achieve, and how much there is to learn on your course to self-mastery.
  13. PeterGrip

    PeterGrip Fapstronaut

    You are easily the most memorable individual I've encountered on this website. Yes I do, and I'm thrilled about your response. I just spent 25 minutes trying to read and understand your post. Your writing is ridiculously dense and I had to look up a lot of words. Do you actually talk like this too?
    I don't understand you here.
    Let me know what you think of female attraction. Also, are you addressing that based on some previous post I've made? I don't see how I could be including it in this thread.
    I'm glad what I'm putting forth resonates with you. Self-mastery is a process I investigate only because the alternative is more painful. And I believe that I, like everyone else, owe it to everyone to share my thoughts, independently of them being right or wrong.
    Also, congratulations to you for reaching more than a full month!
  14. greenishmoon

    greenishmoon Fapstronaut

    It is obvious but in the mind of people you could find in this forum it is a good thing to remember (I am the first one that apply to that).
    I began to detect where in my life are the habits that are making me feel in ways I don't like. Once you do that it stops being about you, it is about what you're doing. Which means it can be changed. It is a powerful thought.
    MeTP and Knascher6789 like this.
  15. Always Keep Going

    Always Keep Going Fapstronaut

    Perhaps simpler terms may work here; I should be practicing more deliberate speech these days, comes from a strange penchant to make art out of language (or at least attempt to).
    Here's a clarification to the first phrase: if you had not renounced the battle of "remission and relapse," meaning if you had not come to disabuse yourself from the nature of PMO to dupe you into holding a sense of respectable gratitude (in exchange for a degree of mental capacity, probity, and "cleanliness"), you would have obviously never seen from the way that you view life now. That is because your actions are predicated on your world view, and, paraphrasing an adage I read that incited me to fix my unruly self, reward comes with patience and persistence, with a new, healthier intransigence in line with your true goals. The reward, in this case, is a chance to open your eyes to more of the true goal (as attested by this transition you describe in your post). Perhaps you understand why the route to self-mastery has begun for you; with the clarification of a goal more intelligible (not stifled or degraded by a whimsical mindset that a Fapstronaut generally has during his first weeks/months of forswearing PMO), most things are possible.

    As for my perspective on female attraction, I tend to orient myself in a slightly more ascetic fashion (not at all trying to sound complacent, for I frequently meet my dissipated former self and have much to improve upon): the predilection towards sustaining ourselves found within all mammals is characterized by an element of man not reprehensible, but blind and in part vacuous. If a determined man does not need friends, if his gravitation to his own mastery is sufficient, perhaps it would be more provident for him to abdicate a portion of his right to communicate for the sake of his betterment.
  16. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

    Good post. Ejaculating takes away our drive and sets us back months.
  17. MeTP

    MeTP Fapstronaut

    Holy fuck, I liked this post earlier but it just now clicked into my mind. Powerful insight !
    greenishmoon likes this.
  18. PeterGrip

    PeterGrip Fapstronaut

    Good for you :) Best of luck
    MeTP likes this.
  19. greenishmoon

    greenishmoon Fapstronaut

    Thank you man. I give better advice than what I actually do. It was good for me to read that post too.
    Garek and MeTP like this.

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