9 year pmo free
- Thread starter Mr Eko
- Start date
No, since 7 or 8 years I have had no urges. But once I made a mistake and watched a risky scene on youtube for about a minute. Then I had 24 hours of frequent and strong temptations. I understood then that urges mostly come from watching a tempting material, even an "innocent" one - like fashion show or a risky music video with provoking girls etc.
The working anti-urge tactic after a longer sober period is simply to avoid such views.
What I experience from time to time are rather weak temptations which could change into stronger ones but I know to cut them in the fist stage when they are easy to cut.
Yes, I would. For me it's a "forced" celibacy, it's not my choice. But to be clear - the lack of any sexual life is not hard to me, considering my age.
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Rarely
If boost understood as energy, power to do something etc. then yes.
No, it's impossible. Spirituality cannot depend on something material like semen. It's like your wisdom or knowledge cannot depend on what you eat.
... But living without any sex (pmo including) gives enormous potential to increase spirituality. It's because your mind, body are free from sex drive so you have plenty of time and energy and if you direct them consciously towards spirituality ( more reading valuable books, more prayer, meetings with valuable spiritual people etc.) then you can increase it. So on this way I think I increased it.
As above. The semen won't give you anything beside energy ( potential) which is not wasted on pmo or women chasing. And now one has to do something which increases confidence and lessens fear. It can be something material like doing martial arts or therapies teaching some tactics, mechanisms how to manage or lessen fears for example or spiritual like prayer...
... But I think that doing pmo or women chasing for sex makes one afraid and without confidence because it happens something spiritually bad. We can call it sin and sin makes one afraid and less confident ( it's an automatic punishment). So it seems to me that mere avoiding pmo and women chasing for sex can increase someone's confidence, like no more being exposed to cold temperatures heals someone having sore throat.
Some fear resulting from addictive sex behaviour can go away but for sure not any. It's a myth.
By the way there are not people who experience no fear but there are a few who feeling afraid can do something very dangerous inspite of it. Being fearless in any situation is a myth comming from action movies or some sects.
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Hope23
Fapstronaut
Hi, thanks for sharing your story, it's amazing story, congratulations!
I have a question for you.
I've read world stories that a man who's wife died and didn't have intercourse for 7 years then he didn't have an erection because he didn't have more intercourse.
Could it be?
Can you please tell me if you had erection problems when you had intercourse after 7 years?
Thank you.
I have a question for you.
I've read world stories that a man who's wife died and didn't have intercourse for 7 years then he didn't have an erection because he didn't have more intercourse.
Could it be?
Can you please tell me if you had erection problems when you had intercourse after 7 years?
Thank you.
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If the man was over 60 or so then it could be but the cause couldn't be
the lack of sex but his age.
I haven't had any sex life for over 7 years so let's say I don't know.
I would say so - in my addicted past I had been enjoying pmo but almost nothing beside of it ( because almost nothing had been interesting to me or I had had not enough energy to do it).
Now I have been enjoying tens of dozens things beside of sex ( because hundreds of things have been interesting to me and I have time and energy and fun to pursue many of them).
I have a question about this, did you disclose that you had a problem in the past like alcoholism or drugs?
you would be celebrated for beating those back, I think most women would run screaming from me if I were to disclose a P problem. It make s me think, why should I even bother?
Psalm27:1my light
Fapstronaut
I think that if you want an intimate relationship you must disclose any problems that will affect that relationship. Recovery no matter if it’s from drugs, alcohol or sex addiction will affect both you and your relationships. Depression, adhd, ocd, bi polar-any mental issue you struggle with should also be disclosed. I 100% did not want children. I knew this would affect any relationship. I also knew it severely limited the number of men who might want to be in a marriage with me. If you want a relationship, you want it to be long term, then you must be honest. If they leave, you saved yourself and them a lot of pain and suffering. If they will leave when you tell them, they will leave if you keep it secret. The only difference is the amount of pain and hatred they have for you now, due to your lies and the length of time.
I said about it to my wife in the first year of our marriage and she was very disappointed and depressed for long time. But after I said this seeing what happened to my wife I decided no longer talk about it - that is I ensured her that I would be fighting this but wouldn't tell her about my falls which happened not so rarely dispite of my trying.
My biggest mistake was not to tell her about it before our marriage so I hadn't given her the choice to risk or not her life with a heavily addicted man. But before marriage I thought simply that it's not an addiction but some sins which occur when a man hasn't got a girlfriend. I had known little about pmo addiction and the very destructive influence on any relationship with a woman.
Today I'm sure that before marriage every addicted man has to tell it because she has to know about it to make a choice.
But if a man hadn't told about it before marriage , in my opinion, he has to fight pmo trying to get rid of it for good but he shouldn't tell the wife about his pmo addiction because it's too late and it ( the destructive knowledge) won't help neither the man nor his marriage, nor his family. She won't be able to help him and it all will end in destruction of the family. It will destroy her gradually or radically. Which doesn't mean that I say that the man can enjoy his pmo / sex addiction in the marriage. He has no choice , he has to fight it every day. Not alone - there are 12 steps groups, therapies ...
If they are intelligent enough and have enough knowledge about pmo/ sex addiction they should do so - it's for them the best possible choice to run away as fast as possible. You would like to know about a drug addiction or heavy alcoholism etc. of the woman you would like to marry or if she had been in prison or has a veneral disease etc. to make a choice or risk your life.
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Psalm27:1my light
Fapstronaut
100% all of this. I would not have married my husband had he been an alcoholic,a smoker, a drug user or if I had known he was a porn addict. I was careful to never date anyone who drank or used drugs or smoked. Wish I’d known how easy and prevalent porn was. That being said, I 100% am grateful for the life I have.
This is what I thought. Im damaged goods. I can try to be a force for good in the world with the time I have left though.
Thank you for your thoughtful reply.
Psalm27:1my light
Fapstronaut
I wouldn’t say damaged goods. I would say mental health issues that you are trying to address. There may be someone out there who can accept it and support you.
Can not disagree with any of this. I do think its sad though that if a man struggles with and beats drugs or alcohol he will be celebrated. anything sexual, not so much.
On a related note, have you seen the movie, thanks for sharing? it covers some of this, and is a pretty good movie
Psalm27:1my light
Fapstronaut
Lol- what movie? Yeah, sex addiction isn’t believed in many cases so it’s looked at differently
An excellent movie. I saw it some years ago but from another perspective. I had already been a former pmo addict.
Yes, maybe nothing else is so linked to shame. This addiction is so unique. We do it in secrecy, nobody sees it, we hide doing it, the visible destructive results come from something what is not seen by other people. We do it alone. And consequently - our recovery and maybe a success in beating this addiction remains hidden, nobody knows because we can't openly admit who we had been. All done in secrecy for the public. That's why an anonymous forum in the net is maybe the only chance to talk about the struggle, falls, and successes. A former pmo addict can only be a hidden hero, not a public one. Alcoholics , drug addicts ... mostly did their addiction openly, with another addicts so their successes can be open and public too. Maybe for us pmo addicts the secrecy is additional punishment. Formerly I had used this secrecy and now the secrecy takes a revenge.
But.... 11 years ago I thought that the only thing I was able to do was the everlasting trying to get rid of this. I had thought it would last until my death. So I had been mistaken. Even though I had been for 33 years an hopeless addict and had no external help ( no therapies, no selfhelp groups etc.) I have changed this. So , don't think you are lost or doomed.
Frassvelli
Fapstronaut
For the longest time that I was fighting my addictions, I thought no woman would ever fall in love with me. So for almost 29 years of my life, I secretly hid myself in the shadows of my addictions and I thought I would die single and have no chance of experiencing the joys of married life. Until one day, a woman gave me a chance to like her and pursue her. I made a promise to myself I will not hide my addictions from her by telling her everything early on. It took me 2 months into our relationship to finally confess everything to her. I told her I have something dark hidden in my life and I don't know if you will continue to love me. She was so intrigued and had no clue what it was until finally, I confessed my secret life to her. It was such a huge relief for me that the woman I dearly love got to know the real me and accepted me for who and what I am! She told me she loved me no less and that she appreciated my honesty. To my surprise, sex has become an easy topic of our conversations and it made us closer in our relationship as a couple.
She became my ally in my struggles and we got married 10 months into my sobriety. My wife has become a source of my strength and inspiration for me to never go back to my addictions. In my recent temptations, what stopped me from falling was my fear of hurting her should I give in. I'm proud to say I haven't done PM since we got married and I made a vow on our wedding night that my body belongs to her and it's no longer mine to keep but hers only.
That is awesome, I wish it was more common, but still awesome! You are a lucky man, and your wife is a lucky woman
Well, you certainly are an inspiration