9 year's freedom from pmo - my Catholic method

For Fapstronauts of the Catholic Christian Faith

  1. Mr Eko

    Mr Eko Fapstronaut

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    A member on the Christian forum has written so:

    '' We often have the knowledge needed to break this addiction. We usually have the knowledge necessary for avoiding relapses and staying on track. But for some reason we don't always apply our knowledge practically. And this is strange, very strange.''

    In my opinion, the statement above is false. What I believe it should be is this: We often lack the knowledge required to overcome this addiction. It may seem like we possess it, but we frequently lack the practical understanding needed to prevent relapses and stay on the right path.
    What we usually have is a mixture of partially effective methods, which are often incomplete. We do not know what is truly essential and should be done consistently versus what is less important and merely supplementary. Consequently, it's not surprising that only few people achieve freedom from pmo.

    If we knew from the beginning what to do and how to do it, the only thing lacking would be our commitment and effort. This would lead to many more individuals successfully overcoming their addiction.
     
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2023
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  2. Personally, I don't believe any amount of knowledge can bring us healing from PMO. Sure, I think knowledge can help us manage our addiction on a natural level; however, healing itself is an effect of grace. PMO is a symptom of a disordered relationship with God, our neighbor, and ourselves. We must, in prayer, petition God of the grace to repair our relationship with Him, and by doing so the other two will become ordered.

    We were made for communion, and when we don't work for and towards this end we deteriorate.
     
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  3. timcia

    timcia Fapstronaut

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    Hosea 4:6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge."
    I say prayer, specific verses on lust, knowledge, and everything else you can think of. Try everything.
     
  4. Mr Eko

    Mr Eko Fapstronaut

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    This is what I meant by knowledge. Many don't know what the main reason for their addiction is - the lack of communion with God as a result not living according to His laws. And many don't know that the first and most important are the two - prayer ( and many don't know how to pray reciting only some words etc.) combined with repentance meant as a way to live according to what God awaits of us, what the true purpose of our lives is. Not knowing this or not believing this, many try to use thousands of ineffective or only partially or temporary effective means to get rid of PMO.
    In order to ask God for grace one needs first to know and believe that no other way exists - and many lack the knowledge. They think they can repair themselves by discipline and efforts of will plus reading tips of other addicts etc.
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2023
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  5. Mr Eko

    Mr Eko Fapstronaut

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    ''My people are ruined for lack of knowledge! Since you have rejected knowledge ...
    (Hebrew word used here is 'daath' - in highest sense, knowledge of God (including obedience)
    ...Since you have forgotten the law of your God ...I will punish them for their ways,and repay them for their deeds....they will promote prostitution ...For the spirit of prostitution has led them astray ....Thus a people without understanding comes to ruin....like a stubborn cow...Israel is stubborn''
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2023
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  6. Itachi?

    Itachi? Fapstronaut

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    Idk about this promise thing you’re talking about, I mean I’m glad you’ve abstained for so long but then again your saying you promised for 10 years that you would not fall to it. I mean you did mention that after this you would feel free to PMO if you wanted to. But hypothetically what if you did PMO after 10 years. Instead of saying “if I want to to PMO” after 10 years, why not change it to I’ll never do it again. I mean 3 years is a long time and I believe you’re obviously doing something right so whatever your doing in terms of habits and prayer just keep that as a full life commitment
     
  7. Mr Eko

    Mr Eko Fapstronaut

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    yes, but before I promised for so long I had promised gradually for much shorter periods, beginning from a 15 minute promise, then I made it gradually longer and longer but only after completing the previous promise. Without promises I feel I can give in easily. But beside the promises not to PMO there are simultaneously promises to pray each time when dangerously tempted. Without prayer promises don't work.
    You got it right. I would be free to PMO which doesn't mean it would be good. It would be a grave sin or many consecutive grave sins leading potentially to a hard addiction again. I would only be free to do it without breaking any promise after 10 years are over (next year in March).
    It's because I mustn't break any promise. If I break one then all my method won't work or will work very poorly. I remember that in my youth I many times promised NEVER to do PMO. And guess what would happen after that. I broke many times such promises. I think only after one has lots of not broken completed promises and if they last for many years then one is ready to make a never again promise. I simply don't know if I endure such a promise having my past experiences in head with broken never again promises. Maybe it's better for me another new promises for some limited time. I don't know but what I know I must be very careful with any promises.

    But hypothetically - even if I started PMO-ing after completing the 10 year long string of promises then after some time I will know what the working method looks like and I could any time come back to my prayer + promises + repentance method. And at least I would have these 10 free years during which I have achieved many things beside of abstaining from PMO. Having this in my head I doubt I would remain longer time in an active PMO binge. I simply don't like being a slave to anything and hate feeling and really being a looser in many aspects of my life, I had been in my active addiction.
     
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2023
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  8. Mr Eko

    Mr Eko Fapstronaut

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    My thoughts to what CPilot wrote a few days ago:
    I don't ponder this. It's no use to do so because nobody can change themselves by thinking about the ways and means. A sinless life (of course sinless to some extent) is only a byproduct of living in a growing sanctifying grace. So what shoud we ponder is the ways and means how to increase this grace. It's like there is dirty water in the bath. It's practically impossible in home conditions to make the water clean by trying to get rid of the dirt. How will you do it? You'll throw a towel into the water trying to collect the dirt on it? Or what? ( Of course it's possible in a laboratory condition to do it using filters etc. but we talk about our home means). But in home conditions we can do so: turn on the tap and let the clean water into the dirty ... the more the clean water from the tap the cleaner the water in the bath.
    The legend: the clean water from the tap = God's grace.
    So what are the means to get, collect more and more grace, sanctifying grace. Our Church teaches it. - prayer, Sacraments, good acts (if you try more and more to live according to God's Word (the Bible + Church teaching (Tradition).
    The psychological self-analysis is in my opinion one of the main or even the main obstacle in individual Christian life. It's often that prayer is mostly or even exclusively a psychological self-analysis. So instead of being with God we are only alone and instead of talking to God we talk to ourselves. This is not a prayer , and maybe this is a cause why many people say "" prayer doesn't help", ''prayer hasn't changed me, the Mass hasn't changed me, receiving Communion hasn't changed me, I'm the same as 20 or 30 years ago, it doesn't work''

    In brief: I must focus on God, on communion with Him, on being in his presence (prayer) and the rest (grace) will float into me like the clean water from the tap, into my dirty soul, mind, will ... cleaning them gradually.

    Such is my understanding.

    By the way - getting rid of PMO is a byproduct too. A byproduct of filling oneself more and more with God's water from the tap. And I guarantee - there is no need of other means. Or better said they are useful but not crucial.
     
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  9. CPilot

    CPilot Fapstronaut

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    Dear mentor. Frankly, there is little difference in what we are saying here. Perhaps it is just my mindset this morning but as a mentor whom I greatly respect, your post makes me feel like th child referred to in Colossians 3:21.
     
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2023
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  10. CPilot

    CPilot Fapstronaut

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    My apologies everyone. My sinful pride made me react to these posts as I did. I have much to learn.
     
  11. Mr Eko

    Mr Eko Fapstronaut

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    But what do you apologise for? You simply expressed your reaction to my post. You did it tactfully without abusive words. Everyone has their rights to express their different opinions. If not then we start building a society of mutual adoration which is detrimental to the talk and opinion expressing.
     
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  12. Mara is back

    Mara is back Fapstronaut

    Hello Mr Eko, please, I need some help
    When I'm tempted, I promise not to accept bad thoughts and not to do M for a certain amount of time, ranging between minutes and several hours, depending on the intensity, and when the term ends, I renew. The longest promise until now has been one day.
    Since I don't know when the next temptation will come, how long it will last, or how intense it will be, I don't feel sure enough to make longer promises. I'm afraid to promise, say, 1 month, and that a strong temptation comes before and not being able to keep the promise ...
    Then I don't know how to manage short promises when I'm temptation free. Is it ok not promising anything when I don't "need" to, or should I?
     
  13. Mr Eko

    Mr Eko Fapstronaut

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    No, you can't promise not to accept bad thoughts because almost nobody can control their thoughts or such a control would be very energy consuming. I never have written that we should promise not to accept bad thoughts. But I have written that we can promise to pray when bad thoughts and bad emotions occur in our mind.
    So I can promise that when occur in my mind and heart bad thoughts and bad emotions I will be praying at least for 15 minutes (for example).
    or I can even promise that when occur in my mind and heart bad thoughts and bad emotions I will be praying at least for 15 minutes and if the bad thoughts and emotions won't go away I will be praying for the second time.
    or I can I can even promise that when occur in my mind and heart bad thoughts and bad emotions I will be praying at least for 15 minutes and if the bad thoughts and emotions won't go away I will be praying for the second time. And if the bad thoughts and emotions won't go away I will be praying for the third time.
    And so on. (you can promise to pray for the fourth, fifth , .... time (in case the bad thoughts and emotions won't go away)

    So you can only promise to pray when in bad thoughts and / or emotions but you can't promise to fight bad thoughts and / or emotions because we people have almost no power over our thoughts and emotions.

    So once again you can promise in such cases:
    1. When you're tempted that you will pray as long as the temptation is present and as many times as the temptation comes back (once I had to pray with many breaks for 8 hours until the temptation to PMO went away, and I was the winner then)

    2. When you're tempted you can promise that you won't PMO for a limited time (some minutes, or some hours, or a day, a few days etc.) but such a promise must be combined always with promise 1. (you will pray as long as the temptation is present and as many times as the temptation comes back) and promise 3 (below)

    3. When you feel bad emotions / thoughts that you will pray during them in the manner as I described it above.

    So, fighting PMO you do 3 promises for the same time because only to promise that you won't PMO, without promising to pray at the temptation will bring as a result breaking of your promise. And when you do nothing when you feel bad thoughts and emotions you risk to break promises 1. and 2. because bad thoughts and emotions can easily prevail your will and you'll break the promises 1. and 2.

    So once again do three promises for the same time. This will ensure you victory.

    You can promise in other situations too but better ask me before because without your own experience in promising you may not know which promise is doable and which is better to avoid. I have promised many times in many different situations for 10 years now so I think I have some experience in this field.
    This shows that you aren't ready yet to promise for longer time. You can promise for longer time only if you feel that it's possible for you to keep this promise. For example when I was able to keep a promise for 2 days I knew that I'm not ready for a promise for a week (that would be too long because of the difference between 2 days and seven days. I felt that I can endure a time two times longer than 2 days, so I promised for 4 days...)
    As you see you will feel for how long you can promise without too much risk. If you feel insecure don't promise for long. If now you can promise for 1 day so you aren't ready to promise something for 3 days. It would be too long for you to endure.
    You don't know when temptation comes back. Many times it was that a strong temptation came suddenly and if I hadn't been in promise time I knew that I wouldn't have stopped this sudden temptation and that I would have given in and PMO. So it's much better to promise even if you are temptation free because of the sudden attacks. As long as you are addicted such sudden attacks will surprise you.
    I have had no longer sudden temptation attacks for 7 or 8 years but when I was addicted I experienced them many times.
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2023
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  14. Mara is back

    Mara is back Fapstronaut

    What I mean is not to consent impure thoughts, like 9th commandment says.
    I know I can't prevent my mind from producing impure or any kind of thoughts, they will come even if I don't want. But it's different if they only arrive and knock or if I open and welcome them ;-)
    I know. I do it on my own because my experience is that letting such thoughts in makes me fall
    Yes, and this is precisely a good way to not accept them :) Praying is a good way to express "I don't want these thoughts, if they stay it's without my consent"
    Yes, I've had temptations for 10 hours or more and during several consecutive days. Happy you won!
    Ok!
    Ok!
    As a woman, I can assume temptations will come every month during fertile period, but in my experience this not always occurs as they can come before, after or not to come at all. So, it's true I don't know when they will attack
    Right now I'm trying to complete again 100 days (today is 51), but it isn't a promise. In my current state maybe I could promise for periods of 2 or 3 days and renew
    Wow! It's great!

    Thank you very much :)
     
  15. Mr Eko

    Mr Eko Fapstronaut

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    But you know, addicts cannot even stop welcoming and stop opening to impure thoughts. That means you can try to stop them and to not open to them but it will cost you lots of effort and it will come an hour when you totally tired will give in.
    Not only this. Prayer brings God's healing grace to your emotions, thoughts and your will. So your emotions, thoughts and will are going to heal and as a result the impure thoughts and emotions will be diminished. So , in brief, you aren't able to stop impure thoughts for longer time but prayer ( grace) is able to do this.
     
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  16. Mara is back

    Mara is back Fapstronaut

    Yes, I remember one day in this year when had persistent bad thoughts and I tried to ignore them, in the course of the day they gained ground until they won and I gave in :-(
    Nonetheless, on other occasions it has been helpful to do things like closing my eyes, moving or shaking my head, or changing my position to repel unwanted thoughts
    :emoji_heart::emoji_pray: I loved this!
    :emoji_thumbsup:

    Thanks again
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2023
  17. Mr Eko

    Mr Eko Fapstronaut

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    SAINT PADRE PIO: 10 SIGNS THAT THE DEVIL IS ATTACKING YOU

    (My comment - Many or almost all of the 10 signs often turned up before or during my PMO temptations. I understand their task was to weaken my will, mind and physical strength to lead me to PMO. The PMO was a result of these attacks because I totally exhausted looked for my 'best means to relax - PMO'. As we can see we must act much sooner before PMO temptations come. If we waste the time by our passivity then to fall is only a matter of time. Look at the prayer - it occurs in almost every point as a means to overcome the problem)

    1. unexplainable anxiety and fear - making us doubt God's love and protection. These emotions can be overwhelming, making it challenging to focus on faith, prayer.


    Overcoming such attacks involves prayer, meditation, and seeking spiritual counsel.

    2. spiritual dryness — a feeling of God's absence or distance. It can lead to a sense of isolation and disconnection from one's faith.

    To combat spiritual dryness, Padre Pio recommended perseverance in prayer. Seeking the support and guidance of a spiritual advisor or priest can be invaluable during such periods.

    3. persistent negative thoughts - These thoughts often focus on one's unworthiness, sins, or failures and can be a tactic used by the devil to lead individuals away from a sense of hope and trust in God.

    To counteract these negative thoughts, St. Padre Pio advised turning to prayer and the sacraments, which can help individuals find solace and spiritual healing.

    4. doubt in faith - Doubt in one's faith, religious beliefs, or the existence of God is a common sign of a spiritual attack.

    To combat doubt, it is essential to engage in open and honest dialogue with knowledgeable spiritual advisers, study religious texts, and seek answers to questions and concerns. Strengthening one's faith through prayer, reflection, and engagement with a supportive faith community can help dispel doubts.


    5. intense temptations - Intense and persistent temptations to commit sins.
    These temptations may take the form of desires to engage in behaviors that one knows are wrong, such as lying, cheating, or indulging in sinful pleasures.

    Overcoming intense temptations involves prayer, self-discipline, and self-awareness. Seeking the guidance of a spiritual advisor or confessor can be particularly helpful.


    6. interference in prayer - Experiencing disruptions or disturbances during prayer or meditation can be another possible sign of a spiritual attack.

    These disruptions might manifest as mental distractions, intrusive thoughts, or an inability to concentrate. St. Padre Pio understood that the devil could attempt to hinder our communication with God by disrupting our moments of spiritual connection.
    Such interference can lead to frustration and a sense of spiritual distance.

    To counteract these interferences in prayer, it's important to maintain a consistent prayer routine and develop techniques to refocus the mind.
    Believers can restore the depth and quality of their prayer life.


    7. conflict and strife in relationships. The devil often seeks to create discord, anger, and resentment in our relationships with others. A sudden increase in conflicts with loved ones, friends, or colleagues can be a sign of a spiritual attack. These conflicts may be characterized by hostility, misunderstandings, and an overall sense of strife.
    Recognizing these conflicts as potentially diabolical influences can motivate individuals to work towards reconciliation, forgiveness, and peaceful coexistence.

    Overcoming - Seeking guidance from a trusted counselor or spiritual advisor.

    8. physical and emotional exhaustion - Sudden and persistent physical or emotional exhaustion can be a sign of a spiritual attack. The devil may use such weariness to weaken one's resistance to negative spiritual influences. Exhaustion can make it difficult to engage in spiritual practices, attend religious gatherings, or maintain a strong connection to one's faith.

    Overcoming physical and emotional exhaustion involves setting boundaries, taking time for rest and recuperation, and seeking support from a faith community.

    9.recurrent sickness or health issues - Persistent and unexplained health problems. In cases where individuals experience unrelenting health issues without a clear medical explanation, it's possible that the devil may be attempting to weaken them both physically and spiritually.

    Overcoming - Consulting healthcare professionals is essential for addressing the physical aspects of health issues, while seeking the assistance of a spiritual advisor or prayer for spiritual healing is equally important. Integrating both medical and spiritual approaches can lead to a holistic recovery.

    10. Aversion to spiritual practices - avoiding or neglecting religious duties and spiritual practices is another sign that the devil may be attacking an individual's faith. These practices, such as attending church, praying, or reading religious texts, are vital for nurturing one's connection to God. When someone experiences a strong aversion to these practices, it can indicate a spiritual attack that aims to distance them from their faith.

    Overcoming - St. Padre Pio emphasized the importance of persevering in spiritual practices even when they become challenging. To redouble their efforts in maintaining their spiritual routines. To overcome an aversion to spiritual practices, it's crucial to seek spiritual guidance and support from a faith community.

    By recognizing this aversion as potentially diabolical influences, individuals can take steps to restore their spiritual connection and remain steadfast in their faith, resisting attempts to weaken their bond with God.

    (My comment - What would happen if I didn't use prayer as soon as any of the 10 signs occur? I would fall soon, even after almost 10 years of freedom. My main fatal mistake in the past was to be passive and not to start or stay in prayer. I only tried to fight when temptation came but it was too late. I see most believers do the same mistake and they still wonder why they give in again and again).

    Source (youtube):
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2023
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  18. Mr Eko

    Mr Eko Fapstronaut

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    My thoughts on 'GOD EVERY WHERE PRESENT' By Monsieur BOUDON which 2 parts have been published by Fulton on his thread.

    'the Sovereign Lord.. is at all times present in every place; we cannot but wonder to see Christians pay as little attention to His presence, as if they knew it not, or thought it nothing to them.'

    My comment - Christians (addicted to PMO) pay little attention to His presence during prayer. That's why they often say - I prayed at the time of temptation but it didn't help me enough or even didn't help me. I'll try something else instead - cold shower for instance. If they pay little attention to His presence when they pray then what they pay huge attention to when they pray? Answer - to themselves, to their plans, emotions, fears, pleasant thoughts, memories, conversations, imagined conversations where they are always victors, watched movies, played computer games etc. How God can work through His grace when we neglect Him even in prayer? It's like - you want to get sun tanned you go out in the sun in summer but you open an umbrella over all of your body. If your prayer looks (mostly) like this then you are right with your conclusion - prayer (God) doesn't work or works not sufficient. But it's your fault. You aren't open to God and His work, even during prayer. How do I know it? My prayer looked like this for decades. And in those decades I wondered why God hadn't rescued me from PMO. After that I got to know thanks a book about prayer by Fr. Blachnicki 'The tent of meeting' that I had been doing the basic mistake in prayer. He called such a defective prayer talking to oneself, psychoanalyse.


    'By faith therefore we have it in our power, to enjoy God on earth whenever we please, and the enjoying Him in this way, as it is a kind of foretaste '

    My comment - what is this foretaste? For example God's healing from the actual temptation or even urge. If I pray fighting constantly for paying the most possible attention to His presence then it's mostly some minutes enough to cool my PMO desires down and dispel most of negative emotions and thoughts which brought me to PMO temptations.

    ' God ... spoke to Abram on making a covenant with him: Walk before me and be perfect. For this walking before God we cannot suppose to be any thing else but walking by faith in His divine presence, so as never to lose sight of Him; and whoever does this, will be perfect, as the ancient Patriarchs, who did it, were. Many, as I said before, have perfected themselves in sanctity by the same means '

    My comment - Walking before God, walking by faith in His presence, not losing sight of Him - this describes how prayer should be and our struggle during the prayer - never to lose sight of Him. If we do such a struggle in private, public prayer, in Mass , adoration of the Most Holy Sacrament etc. (anytime where prayer is involved) then we can experience more and more sanctity, becoming perfect.
    What is one of the results of our more sanctity, perfection? We become more and more free from PMO enslavement. It simply works like this. We can't become more PMO free by exercising our will power, journaling, reading books with tips, accountability partners etc. (This all helps but not enough and)

    'Whosoever should well establish the thought and remembrance of the presence of God amongst men, ... would banish sin from the face of the earth'

    My comment - in prayer we establish the thought of the presence of God and as a result we banish PMO sin. In such a way works a good prayer.

    'M. Gregory of Nyssa - it is He who maintains there all beings, and who assists all their motions'

    My comment - our motions to get rid of PMO, who can assist these motions in us ? God in prayer.

    'They (several persons) have been taught from their childhood that God is every where, by his presence, and by his power: but as they are only taught these things by rote, they are to them only words which they repeat without understanding them.'

    My comment - every Catholic knows God is everywhere. Less Catholics know His power is everywhere to get. But only a few practise this knowledge and they pray each time they need God's power in their needs.
    If PMO addicts don't pray in temptation or negative emotions, thoughts (leading in our case to PMO temptations and then PMO acts) then they prove that the saving presence of God in prayer is only words taught in religion classes, sermons, religious books or mum's instructions. Something abstract, not used doesn't work. It's like not used umbrellas don't work when it's rainy.
     
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  19. CPilot

    CPilot Fapstronaut

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    This is a very thought provoking post. I had to read many of the lines several times to truly grasp what you have written.

    Please allow me to add, that as Catholics I see that we are specially blest with opportunities to uniquely feel the spiritual world which is all around us. We have the Sacraments, and in particular, the sacraments of Reconciliation and the Eucharist. More times than not, after an honest confession, I feel the Lord's presence through the joy that comes over me. Equally, each time I receive the Eucharist, I am reminded what an incredible, albeit underserved, privilege it is to partake of Christ's body and blood.

    Mary has said, through visionaries, that whenever we adore Christ in Blessed Adoration that She is also there with us along with all of the saints in heaven. As we pray there in the presence of Our Lord's transubstantiated body, all of heaven is there alongside of us. What an incredible consideration!

    1 Corinthians 6:19 tells that our bodies are a temple for the Holy Spirit and with that thought I recognize the need to clean and polish the temple I offer to the Holy Ghost.

    God and the communion of saints are truly all around us, every minute of every day. I pray that He will continue to clean my heart so that I may be a more humble and obedient child of God.
     
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  20. Stommy

    Stommy Fapstronaut

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    Very good!
     

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