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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Oct 27, 2017.
My most recent relapses were after 72 days, and then after fifty something days...sometimes they pop up when we’re close to hitting milestones (you’re approaching 60 days) whatever the cause, I hope you can get to the other side of the urges. I always feel so much better and get a sense of wholesome confidence after getting to the other side of urges. And I always wish I would have held on after giving in to the urges. Good luck my friend!
day 21/90 I am actually finding it easy.Yoga and meditation helps out a lot. Also I was not an addict (used to masturbate 1-2 times a week ) But I am doing this so that I can transmute my sexual energy to creativity for professional success .Drop by any advises on that.
Daily check-in. On day 84.
Day 2/90 started. Today better than yesterday morning feeling. Trying to have a productive day. Cheers.
Feeling good, and on the alert for triggers.
I'm a bit sick today. It's always been difficult to stay away from PMO when I'm sick. Today I'm trying to stay busy and focused on my goal while I'm trying to rest and heal.
Hi, today it's my day 2 on this journey. At the moment it's not been too difficult. Just few moments, I tried to stay focused and busy. Today it's Sunday...which used to be my FAP day. I'll try to stay busy the more I can.
Checking in again! My goal is to eliminate porn permanently and get healthy sexlive back. Also to increase mental clearness, help survive with eye floaters and heal my pelvic muscle chronic tension.
(I know its a massive long text with bad english knowledge and Im so sorry about it, but I dont know with whom I can talk to right now, and I just wanted to write it down, maybe that will calm me down...)
Well brothers, I just realized that I am very deep in a problem...
I'm 18 years old and visit the 12th grade in the second semester in High School. I went to High School because I didn`t know which job should I do in future. My grades are very bad for a High Schooler (average 3,5). My motivation for school is already gone. My whole family wants that I must go to a university and study there something. They know I got bad marks, but I must do a good Graduation Diploma, go to a university, study engineer... (thats the opinion from my family)
If I do a bad Graduation Diploma (means when my average is over 2,4), then Im not allowed to visit my sisters in russia these summer, should work the whole summer holidays or learn the whole summer for school, means no freetime...
BUT if I find an 'alternative', then maybe maybe my parents wouldnt get mad...
So I started to search a job that suits me. I did a lots of 'personality-job-tests' and all had the same results: I must work in 'artistic-cultural topics'. I searched and searched which 'artistic' job interests me.
Then I found it... maybe Game Designer or Animator?
Since I was 3 years old I loved to play video games or to watch how my Dad played it. I also love to draw characters from video games (recently also Anime characters). And if I think about it that I could be a Game-Designer, I feel satisfied and safer. Also I can start to work in August and can break up with the High School! But now comes the problem...
At first I got bad marks (average 3,5). And maybe my family or friends would laugh at it, so this job is a bit emberrassing for me. And now the big problem: What about the future? What would my kids think about it? What would a girl when I met one think about it? Maybe she will laugh at it. I mean no girl is interested about a men who creates pixel animations with fictive characters. Like my family, they want that I do a 'real' job.
Now Im sitting here, and I dont know what should I do. Tomorrow is school and everyday I just sit there and wait till I can get home. Everybody thinks that Im a lazy piece of shit. Maybe thats right, or maybe Im just done with learning topics where I am not interested.
Maybe I'm just exaggerating? Maybe I`m understating it? I dont know...
But theres also one positive thing I realized: Without NoFAP, without PMO, Im pretty sure that I would never realized this problem! NoFap opened my eyes...
Damn Bro I feel you
Maybe you should write on a paper which negavite effects does porn to you and hang it out on a door, so that this reminds you everytime what will happen after PMO? Or (that helps me) a background on your mobile phone or PC, where your idol is watching at you. And I can`t masturbate in front of a person who watches at me what I do. And you dont want to disappoint him/her, am I right? The first steps are the heaviest. Learn about it, accept it, and fight it!
Or when youre home alone, I use this situation to go outside for a walk. Refresh the brain with air and just relax. Walk and relax, maybe for 5, 10 or 30 minutes.
Wish you the best for your journey
Sadness is a difficulty for me too. Used to have a quick high with PMO but then feel even worse after. Hope we all find something joyful that lasts.