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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Oct 27, 2017.
Day 46/90 . Wet dream at yesterday.
9/90, I nearly relapsed. Need to minimise the time wasted on instagram as there are SO MANY triggers there.
Holding my nerve, and remembering why i'm committing to this 90 day journey.
It's different for everybody. I don't remember exactly on what day my urges went away. Probably somewhere around day 20 to 30 mark. Still had tons of invasive sexual thoughts and fantasies up until day 60 or so. Then I started my water fast and they got overwhelmed and pushed out by fantasies and desires about food. Then when I broke it they never came back.
It does take time. My reboot probably got sped up by couple months due to long water fast I did, cos they are known to help with addictions. Just give it time, you gonna be there soon enough. 30 days is very tiny amount of time, relatively speaking. To fully reboot it takes on average 3 months minimum and for some even 4 or 5 months, or more. But eventually it does get better and urges stop/gets weaker.
Day 1/90 I think... might be 2. I don't actually remember when I last MO'd. But anyways, continuing to fight, continuing to really invest in meaningful things, and continuing to deny these urges for instant gratification because I know that "good things come to those who wait" and delayed gratification is always more satisfying.
Day 0 started , this time determined to make it to 90 days
Check in day 68 !
Sorry you have gone through so much hardship. 54 days free is huge and you will see results in your mood and energy, but you’ll have to stay with it.
As far as depression, it’s important to see a doctor because you need to at least rule out physical factors before addressing psychological/spiritual ones. After seeing a doctor you might consider professional counseling. A good counselor can help with depression and self-esteem issues. But this all takes time!
Whatever you do, you’ve got supporters here. Keep posting, brother!
As I pay attention to myself I notice that I’m still prone to allow myself to be allured. I haven’t crossed the line into watching P, but I have clicked around periscope hoping to see something exciting. I have scrolled Facebook with the same thing in mind. I’m still an addict. My body/mind/heart wants a fix. I can too easily justify my wandering ways and slip off the edge. I need to pursue good instead of flirt with evil. I’m a weak man and need support from friends, so thanks guys.
Day 49 complete!
Still day 18
I realized that I have a deep issue that causes a lot of my surface level problems like PMO. I simply have a low view of myself. I’ve infected my wife with this, so we as a family tend to value people based on their performance (in whatever area) instead of their intrinsic/inherent worth as a human beings. This issue then causes me depression when I fail. I fear failure instead of getting excited about the learning opportunity. I value others based on what they can do (especially what they can do for me). I need help. I’m just a weak man.
You are not weak brother. You are what you think you are.Be optimistic and happy.
.Set your daily goals and try to have a productive day. Stay busy.
Also try yoga,breathing techniques and meditation.
Day 18/90. I am going
Day 79 of 90.
I will remember about HALT strategy (avoid each of the following, being: hungry, angry, lonely, tired).
"The key to maintaining a life in recovery is a combination of self-care and self-awareness. By taking care of ourselves and recognizing certain signs, we can prevent relapse. One of the tools some people use is HALT. This handy acronym reminds us to take a moment (HALT) and ask ourselves if we are feeling Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. It seems simple enough, but when these basic needs are not met, we are susceptible to self-destructive behaviors including relapse. Fortunately, hunger, anger, loneliness, and tiredness are easy to address and serve as a warning system before things reach a breaking point."
Hey, Let me also join ...
Look like i cant control anymore...fighting too hard to not get failed when i already know that i will eventually fail...sooner or later...cant say if i will able to cross 1 more day or not...day 17/90