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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Oct 27, 2017.
19 days - three more days to beat my all-time best. But this is just the beginning.
Day 1 completed
Completed 41 days .
Awesome confidence level
.Thank you all , for support.
Just coming back after a major relapse. During the past 5 days I PMOed at least twice daily. I have completely neglected my studies. I am falling behind a lot. I have to appear for a major exam a month from now. Need to focus now.
What i do is look at the nofap timeline and use that as motivation. So day 30 ill see results day 40 these results up until u build enough confidence and courage to break the habit and become a better person see if it works for you
27/90 feeling better had some close calls i keep tethering out of curiosity but get motivated when i look at my calender building disgust towards pmo now thanks guys and have an awesome weekend!!! God bless
Day 0 on this challenge, it's been an unhill task quitting on my own. Best personal record is 14days (quite pathetic). I'm fully committed to overcoming porn and masturbation. I would appreciate any assistance from seasoned members on how to use this site and helpful tips from their recovery journeys.
Thanks in advance
Haven't been able to go even 7 days without PMO. Relapsed like 3 times in a day and I haven't really changed much to avoid the habit. Brain is foggy and I'm just tired of giving in so simple to my addiction.
Day 76. Theese days go very fast.
for me is the opposite, always flatline, but when i peak i sense a kind of vulcano waking up... if i continue with peaking i´m pretty sure an erection will surface.
your libido is not dead, it´s just dorment. on the reboot you´ll pass through various stages and going through flatline is one of them. don´t worry, as time goes by your energy will start to rise, and your libido also.
the important is to keep abstinence, even from viewing. every time we engage in any form of sexual lust we prevent our brain from rewiring, besides the immediate danger of a relapse.
Welcome my friend, 14 days is quite good. lot´s of newcomers don´t reach double digits, so your streak for a start is pretty good
stay with us, sharing not only motivates you but also motivate others. here´s some pointers to a safe and strong reboot.
1 - know your enemy. read this book "wack: addicted to internet porn" from noah church, it´s free on his website.
2 - recognize beyond any doubt that your an addict. not someone who has a bad habit. on "wack" there´s a test to see how deep is the addiction and how much is damaging you.
3 - once you accept the truth, recognize that you can´t control PMO usage. don´t waste precious time of your life trying to fit porn in your life, you can´t control this thing. “Oh… maybe on these days, or only on that days….” Forget it. See for yourself, if you could control this you wouldn´t be an addict in the first place. the only way to break free from the addiction is to abstain from all sexual indulgence till a point you have no desire to PMO. 90 days usually is the standard time, sometimes it may take long.
4 - motivate yourself daily to do the reboot. PMO destroys a lot of areas in life, but what is that one thing that really pisses you off? Why do you really need to overcome the addiction? What´s your central issue? find it. That´s your main motivation. Motivate several times especially in the first weeks, cause the urges and porn thoughts will be very alive and kicking. motivation can come from a text, a video, a music, whatever, anything that boosts you do keep doing the reboot. Also motivate yourself on the end of any PMO free day with the efforts that you made. mark your victories. write sentences like:
“Today i was about to peak but i did something else”
“Today i had a strong urge but i didn´t touch myself”
“Today i treated woman with kindness and respect and not like a pervert” …
5 – you can´t do this alone. Studies show that is very rare to someone to overcome an addiction alone, almost impossible. That´s because the very feeding ground of addictions is isolation. So the treatment goes in the opposite direction. You need partners, groups, therapy, forums, whatever, do as you prefer, but stay in touch.
6 - create physical barriers against PMO cause willpower alone will not do. this means install porn blockers and usage of electronic devices with screens facing exposure. in extreme cases forbide yourself from being home alone with electronic devices.
7 - delete any sexual/erotic material that you have. if you keep something with you that means you´re keeping the flame alive.
8 - withdrawal is hard, sometimes harder than the addiction. but after some days/weeks the withdrawal ends, the addiction never ends. Prepare yourself for fatigue, irritation, deep sadness, insomnia, brain fog, headaches, etc... but don´t worry, after a while energy will start to rise and you´ll feel amazing . it´s worth all the efforts. to minimize withdrawal always stay well fed, hidratated, an build a good sleep hygiene. sleeping pills and antidepressives can also help.
9 – Avoid alcohol and sugar consumption. These substances drain energy and promote lethargy and depression. Never get drunk. Excessive alcohol prevents your brain for rewiring, leads to (extra) fatigue, irritation and brain fog. it will also deplete your willpower making you more likely to relapse. Also stay away from screens, wether TV, PC, mobile, whatever.... screens cultivate a passive attitude. it robs awareness and creates dullness, tiredness and sadness. if you want to interact with screens that´s fine but only for a specific reason. when that reason is over, the viewing must be over also.
10 – practice meditation daily or any kind of relaxation technique. This is very important to calm the body against urges and help cope with withdrawal symptoms.
11 – Negative feelings are common triggers to PMO. If you feel bored follow the trail of inspiration, ask yourself "what do i really wanna do right now?" and act out on the answer. Even if at first you only feel a small pull, do it anyway. After a while energy will increase so as the mood and you´ll be inspired to do other things. If you feel sad try to talk with someone about that, and do something pleasant. Stronger emotions like anger or hurt i recommend meditation. A good exercise is the 3 minute breathing space meditation, it´s specifically designed to cope with hard moments.
12 - in the reboot you´ll have flatline periods (total absence of sexual desire) and periods of strong sexual urges. to deal with urges my recommendation is to let them be, just observe them, don´t engage in them. keep doing whatever you´re doing. the urge may be very strong, but it will pass, it will pass totally. in extreme cases, click the panic button on nofap, get out of the house or take a cold shower.
13 - do physical exercise regularly. that will boost your mood and release sexual energy in a positive way.
14 - write a goodbye letter to porn. be brutally honest. an addiction is also a relationship so cry your heart out, say all the things you want to say, and say goodbye.
15 – stay dynamic and active. this is the step i found more important (sideways with the daily motivation). why? because you´re not only abstaining from porn/masturbation, you have to replace those behaviours for others. or else porn will return, no matter how much time as gone by. So fill the free time, work on your passions, live your dreams, one day at a time. Don´t give importance to what day you´re in, the change is forever so don´t care about the 90 days. Impulsivess is an old friend of the addiction.
16 - the addicted mind will not break easily. it´s likely that you´re gonna relapse, relapse a lot. the key is too keep going, never give up. if you don´t give up you will make it. Garanteed. This aplies with everything in life. You just have to want it, badly. If you want it you´ll get it, you will find a way. Garanteed. All the excuses that we put up “oh i´m not strong enough”, “not smart enough” “not good looking” “not rich enough”, “oh, i´m super addicted” “oh, i´m just unlucky” bla bla it´s all ideas, beliefs that are not tested, excuses to justify failure and make us feel pity for yourselfs while time is passing by. Plain and simple, if your not getting what you want, it´s not because of circunstances, it´s due to lack of determination. Perseverance is the game changer. So in each relapse try to know something about yourself, how your mind works, what are the triggers. knowledge is power. If you relapse try not to binge (relapse multiple times), the bigger the binging the harder will the withdrawal.
17 - avoid any kind of sexual stimulation. Anything that we consciously engage with a lustful purpose: engage in viewing, engage in touching... will make dopamine being release on the already unbalanced brain. stimulation will increase urges and deplete the motivation for other things (as PMO is still the main drive). So don´t believe your mind if it tells you to peak, it never wants just that. after that, the addiction will kick in strongly and start pounding until it breaks you. The same goes for edging. So it´s better to not even start. The ideal is to make a 180º shift on reality. Engage in totally different activities through the day. luckly there´s a million to do things that have nothing to do with sex. if you have a partner and want to have normal intercourse try to abstain at least on the first weeks to give the brain a rest. If you do sex but thinking on porn that means you´re using your partner as an object. That´s a relapse.
18 - you can never go back to porn. this probably is the harshest truth you can hear (it was mine, and it is for many people) but it´s the truth nevertheless. Why? 3 major reasons.
- you´ll be an ex-addicted, always. that means you will never have a normal relation with porn, your soft spot is porn. if you engage in PMO again, sooner or later you´ll become an addict, again.
- PMO happens in isolation, there´s no social PMO, which means that not only your likely to associate exciting feelings to PMO behaviour, but also negative feelings, which means that you´ll associate PMO with pretty much everything that happens to you. In fact, this is one of the core mechanisms for an addiction to surface.
- in high speed internet, there´s an infinite suply of sexual material, new sexual material. dopamine is released not only by viewing and fapping but also by searching novely. once you give your brain a taste of the "stuff" it will crave for more. always more.
19 - destroying any hope of going back to PMO will make the reboot stronger and more determinated. This is because some fapstronauts secretly do the reboot in order to gain control over porn, so to use it in moderation. But as we have seen before, this is impossible. Plus if the goal of the reboot is to use porn, porn is still in the horizon. This becomes a contradiction to the present streak and will make it much harder to endure. On the other side all ex-addicts firmly agree that no one ever wants to go back to porn cause life now is too good to be true, too good to go back to hell.
20 - 90 days usually is the standard time to recover from porn addiction, sometimes it may take long. Counting the days can boost your confidence but it also has down effects. Counting may create the sense that only when “that” specific day is reached everything will be fine, your life will be perfect. so you focus on the time and not the process (which is your own life). This can make a streak harder to endure by putting extra pressure to reach “that” day and not reset the counter meanwhile. To avoid this trap make a register of your entire nofap journey, relapses included. So after a relapse if resetting the counter its a big demotivation for you, don´t reset. Just register the relapse, learn from it, and keep you personal counter going. That will help put your growth in perspective. In the end it´s not going to be a number that will dictate when you´re free, it´s your own body/mind.
21 – the reboot implies 100% commitment. If you don´t take it serious neither will be the results. If you take it serious, like if your life depends on it, the change is at your hand. You´ll become a new person: happy, faster, stronger, smarter, confident, social, peaceful. You´ll become a high successful person and there will be pretty much nothing you can´t accomplish because after conquering your own demon you can conquer anything.
i wish you the best luck, strengh and focus my brother. believe in yourself, you can do it.
i´m watching more videos of JK Emezi, this guy is really cool. he was an ex-porn addicted and now he coaches others to reboot from PMO. in this video he shares good tips on how to increase happiness while rebooting. have a great day my friends
Today marks 90 days without Porn! Now I just have to work on everything else in my life
I`m asking myself everytime the same question and I can`t answer it:
How can it be, that we`re feeling sad after a relapse? Why does this bad feeling didn`t come earlier as we started with porn? See, I started with porn with 12 or 11. I know exactly how it started...
A friend was by me at home and we watched some funny harlem shake videos. But then, he said:"Lets see the sexy version of it!" I feeled VERY afraid. I was very scared, because I thought my Dad would kill me after watching this (we were by the way home alone). I tried to avoid it and to watch other things, but not half naked girls in front of MY PC!. Unfortunately we watched the sexy version. We laughed, it was funny too, but I didn`t knew that this video could damage my life. Days later, I was curious. I wanted to see again a sexy video. And as I found some videos on YouTube, I felt happy, excited, cool, masculine. And so started it...
Now my question: Why I didn`t felt bad or depressed with 12 years after watchin such videos? Why I have those feeling only since I am 17? Why not earlier? Why did I enjoyed it the last 6 years and now I`m disgusted at it? Why I wasn`t disgusted earlier about porn?
Had I these negative feelings earlier, I`m pretty sure I wouldn`t be an addict today.
And now Im sitting here, feel lonely, sad, confused, afraid, bored... I`m dreaming about to have a better life: Better friends, a girlfriend, being successful in sports/school, feeling comfortable... and then I`m asking me again: Why I feel these negative thoughts only now and not earlier?...
Edit: My Mom is happy and supports my goal to be a Game Artist! My Dad is still skeptical...
Congratulation!! Keep going ^^
Maybe spend some time with friends or just for a walk outside. Refresh your brain with fresh air. Set some goals you want to achieve and concentrade on it. Maybe that can help, for me it helped at the beginning ^^
Wow brother, you`re really cool you know? Helping us with such good advices and experiences, videos. Man thank you
I learned some maths, played some football. It was a good day with a bit of emotional roaler coaster
Day 85/90. I feel much better today. Got a ton done today. On track for most of today.
Keep chipping away at that rock. One day it will become a beautiful marble sculpture.