31 today i face a tough test and learn a valuable lesson. usually around the 3rd or 4 week i start to crumble in nofap. i never understand why, i´m always so sure of myself and then after a month or so, i relapse. now i understand. usually around that period is when flatline overs (the withdrawal usually is over before that), so what i´m left is with the raw urges. so today i was home alone, getting bored and start searching for horror movies in the mobile. but in reality i indirectly was trying to find if there was any hot actress or scene in those movies. after 1 minute or so, i found a potencial movie of the sort, but before i click i realized where was i heading. in that moment i remember a youtube video that entitled "why you forget the pain of relapse", i saw the movie and it was mindblowing. JK Emezi explains why we must directly cope with unconfortable feelings, it´s a vital part of the rewiring, to develop new skills. the way i was doing was throwing all my strengh in creating a busy, exciting life and with that i was expecting never have to face a dull moment, a sad moment, a hurt moment. the truth is we can´t always create the perfect circunstances. so whenever a dull moment appears + an urge to PMO, i just froze and hope the circunstances will become better, ex: somebody would call me, somebody would knock on the door... i wasn´t directly doing anything about the unconfortable feeling, i was just letting time solve it out. and of course the longer i stayed in an idle situation the more the urge grow. because i wasn´t dealing with the situation properly, the addicted part of the brain was already taking over for the dopamine solution. you see? we have to deal directly with the parts of our experience that are unconfortable and cope with them in constructive ways, or else the midbrain (that is severely hijacked by PMO) will start to take over and make us relapse. that´s why it feels we enter automatic mode just before a relapse!!! we are being driven!!! so here are my suggestions to activately deal with negative feelings: - If you feel bored follow the trail of inspiration, ask yourself "what do i really wanna do right now?" and act out on the answer. Even if at first you only feel a small pull, do it anyway. After a while energy will increase so as the mood and you´ll be inspired to do other things. - If you feel sad accept the situation that cause it, or change it if you can. also talk with someone about it and do something pleasant. - Harder emotions like anger or hurt i recommend meditation. A good exercise is the 3 minute breathing space meditation, it´s specifically designed to cope with hard moments. let´s go my brothers, we can do this, we will do this.