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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Oct 27, 2017.
Didn't check in for a while. Like I said I did bad on a math test and am prob not getting an A. So I read a ton to drown out feelings and I also didn't relapse. Tho I suspect the urges will come soon. I feel really calm right now and it's kinda weird. Idk.
i stumbled last night. i watched porn and slept with a prostitute. and i was not even attracted to her.this is where my porn addiction takes me.
00/90 No PMO (yesterday i relapsed)
03/90 healthy nutrition
Brace yourself for the sexual urges that arise from emotional distress.
That's too bad about your math test, but hey you didnt relapse! That win alone is worth more practical life experience than acing an exam, so long as you maintain that momentum.
The comedy that is academia is not worth enough for you to forfeit your soul by relapse.
Degree = piece of paper (no one cares about your A's)
Your mastery over your sexuality = a self-given gift that will set you on course toward fulfillment and joy.
What triggered you into watching porn?
And how did it escalate from there?
Glad your still active on this thread.
How did you relapse and how can you avoid it next time?
It's weird, for how great my charisma can be it can also be equally as terrible.
What a great way to look at it. Thanks so much! I will.
Here is something I sent my AP, Jerry which might help others. This approach is why I have included relapse count and total days on my Journal badge:
I heard JK's podcast where he explains how counting can be negative and slow recovery as well as hinder self-esteem. If I followed his method, when I relapsed I would not put my counter back to zero but instead would write down in a journal all the reasons I relapsed. This education on triggers to avoid will be more valuable to you than the crap feelings you get by resetting you counter. If I did that approach, I would be on Day 102 with 3 relapses which is a huge improvement from what I was like even 4 months ago. Hope this helps someone who feels like I did today after a relapse. I am feeling much better about it all now knowing this info.
Day 63. Keep going guys, you can do it.
Day 6 of 90: Having trouble falling asleep, tossing and turning and thinking about edgeing so I log onto here instead of trying to go back to sleep, I know if I go back to sleep the urge will be too great I can't take the risk
I have this internal struggle of trying to break the habit but my mind says, "You might as well just do it, you're going to want to do it anyway", but I promised myself I would stay clean but I keep testing myself like I know what I'm doing, why can't I just leave it alone!?
I truly am sick, this is taking so much from me just to stay clean right now but I know it is just a moment and if I break through this moment I will be happy knowing a week from now I will be much happier person.
I feel myself slipping, from now on I can't take part in any of this risky behavior because it is not worth losing my streak, I need to stay clean!
Have a good day everyone
Day 5 here!
It always feels terrible after you stop PMO for a long while then you relapse , I wish I could do it this time.
I'll try to post here everyday until I get the goal..
Day 0 ..
Day 3 /90 No PMO
Day 3/90 No Social Media
Note: Last night I had an erection maybe all the way until 3 a.m and that feeling didn't get me to relapse this time. Maybe slightly edged for less than 1 min but not to Porn. I was just too tired and I fell asleep. Also, my dream was very explicit to the point where I felt a wet dream but because of the feeling after I opened my eyes, it didn't happen.
Here we go again, day 0/90 !
Hey Marin, did you make it through the night?
Day 10/90 done. Today I used my smartphone a lot. Now this is a sign of destruction for my streak. Missing my gym from last 2days another bad sign. Tomorrow need to compensate all these. My thoughts about i should not pmo are increasing which is bad because I am thinking of no pmo rather than lifestyle. All these have been before streaks warning signs before relapse. Don't know this time how I am going to deal it. Cheers guys.
Start Date: Jan 25, 2019
Day 100/103 no PM (relapsed day 51, 70, 102)
Day 1/90 consecutive days no PM
Day 103 of no alcohol or caffeine
Day 71 of weight training
Day 4 of meditation
- I have changed how I present my information above in order to have a more positive focus about my journey, as suggested by JK
- I feel better about my journey now as I realize I am not perfect and will make mistakes
- the process of learning and predicting what your triggers are and how to avoid or control them, is what I am working on
- of course day counting is using the will power method which only works for about 5-8% of the pop
- but I am still here and trying my best to make 90 days come hell or high water
- happy "hump" day as they say everyone