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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Oct 27, 2017.
Day 0/90 relapsed.the whole day I kept relapsing multiple times. It's real bad and I am feeling tired from the moment of yesterday's relapse.
I am in and I am going to achieve it this time, Everyone please hold me accountable for my word. I hold myself accountable for it. I am giving up PMO completely for my girlfriend and I dont want her to feel that I am a two-timing bastard ever. I am blessed to have the woman in my life who loves me and accepts me the way I am and I dont want to lose her to anything. I will not. THE VOICE IN THE HEAD IS JUST CHATTER IT IS NOT US, NEXT TIME IT TELLS YOU TO RELAPSE TELL IT TO FUCK OFF! I want to love her daily more and more and after completing 90 days be completely rid of it for the rest of my life by following the 365 days structure. FUCK PORN AND MASTURBATION, I WANT MY LIFE BACK!, I WILL NOT LET MYSELF AND MY THOUGHTS GET IN THE WAY OF THAT.
Day 5, i can feel the sex rush started coming up as i feel horny. but i will not give up about this .This is my last trip of 90days challenge
relapsed.... but good thing is that i only did m. i didn’t watch p. another good thing is that i feel myself determined and reignited.......
also totally it amounts to 36 relapses in 14 days, after a 14 day hard mode streak
I am participating in the 90 day challenge one day at at time. Since today is day 0, in 24 hours i will have 1 day. I am a PMO/MO addict. I wish to remain abstinent for the rest of my life.
Perhaps start an activity outside the home. Physical fitness is always a good option. Yes, it is work, but over time it will cause you to feel great and help you look your best... Weight training to strengthen your muscles and protect you from injury... Aerobics to lift your mood and leave you with a natural high. If a gym membership isn't an option, start jogging in the park, doing pushups, sit-ups, squats and planks in the grass, find a bar in a playground where you can do chin-ups.
I am in .this is my day 0 and i will try to complete this challenge . we can do it
Date started: Jan 25, 2019
Day 154/157 no PM (relapsed day 51, 70, 102)
Day 55/90 consecutive no PM
Day 157 no alcohol or caffeine
Day 38 of weight training
- feeling strong but fighting urges as I learn some new triggers being around family that i know i have self-medicated with in the past
- my relationships with my mother, my in-laws and my wife are all going well this holiday though, it's more about conquering ghosts of the past
- don't worry, nothing incestuous, just my poor coping mechanism for dealing with family drama and stress
Day 6. No longer feeling nervous about acting out. Came out of that bubble. Praise God. That gives me much hope. I can't put pressure on myself to stop. It causes me to act out every time. Made it almost a month once. I felt I was going to make it. Started putting pressure in myself and boom. Was hit with crazy temptations and fell. No more pressure. No more worrying about falling.
If I might give you some humble advice: ease down. You don't need to tell that inner chatter to fuck off, because there is nobody to fuck off. To personify the "I would like to PMO now pls" voice into some kind of evil or devil (as I see people doing a lot on here, not saying you are) isn't really helpful in my opinion. But more so, it's just not true: It's a system of conditioning that we have created ourselves. Next time when you hear that chatter, just think to yourself "Ah, there is that voice again!", just register it, that's all. Try to see the humour in that you are a witness to your own thought pattern. Because that's all that inner voice is, it's a thought and that thought is an expression of a pattern. It's nobody's fault, it's not evil, and you are not a sucker for falling for this: Who wouldn't?? Naked chicks with a click of a button, off course! But as we all have seen for ourselves, it's not helpful for the lives we want to live. What helps me right now is; don't use force. Well, not all the time anyway: I installed pornblockers on my laptop and phone. I guess that's using force. Now, I don't need to DO anything. It's abou not doing a thing. And do something else. Or not. Just be mindful. And don't fight any thoughts that come up. There is nothing to fight. Be gentle to yourself. All the best.
Day 20/90 check in.
Day 0 round 3
Thank you brother I will try to find sth better.