Started Challenge on Jan 25, 2019 Day 182/187 no PM (relapsed day 51, 70, 102, 150, 162) Day 85/90 meeting my goals Day 51 of weight training - feeling good today but had a few urges last night when my wife was sleeping soundly beside me and I was on FB checking messages and walls - I went to sleep instead and had a great sleep since I didn't mess with my dopamine levels by even peeking - onward and upward gentlemen!
[QUOTE = "Titu، post: 2174882، member: 294575"] 4/90 من الصعب التركيز على أي شيء اليوم [/ QUOTE] Not you, you'll get used to and be stronger
لا تقاوم ، تقاوم ، حافظ على وقتك وعقلك ، لا تسمح لهDo not resist, resist, save your time and your mind, do not allow him to do so
I guess my inability to think straight today and feeling of depersonalization is because of possible wetdream last night. Severe brainfog usually follows after orgasm in my my case, one more indicator I need proper reboot of 90 days at least to get more flexibility to the matter.
Thank you, my friend. Yeah. Well said. Learn skills to deal with hard feelings hey? Great advice. I need to find other ways to find comfort I guess. Maybe I don't let anything into the place I let PMO. My centre. I guess PMO was the only thing I trusted. It was everything to me growing up. The only softness and consolation in a house of yelling and fear. It was all I had. I had people I hung around with but nobody to talk to. I have people to talk to now but I don't. Haha The stupid thing is is that some of the discomfort I was feeling was a consequence of the very thing I was trying to medicate my pain with. Those women on those pages and in movies were my only friends. I never let anyone else near my heart. They did not yell at me and judge me. They let me look at them. It was all fake. I don't blame myself. Looking back as an adult I see why I cut myself off from everyone and I quite frankly don't blame myself. Perhaps it is time to start letting people in. Just thinking about that brings me fear. "They won't like what they see" iswhat bubbles up from the subconscious. I wish it could see that there is a lot to like. I can consciously see that. It is time to try to let people in that spot I have reserved for PMO.
By the way (still day 0 when im typing right now) This is after doing a three day challenge, and I haven't relapsed yet, so that's why it shows three days, so when im at 4 days it'll be day 1
First clean day in a week done! Was not too bad at all, especially considering how bad I had let myself get recently. Seem to have a newfound determination and focus on this goal. Now it is time to start getting back on top of the other areas of my life that I have also let slip. On to day 2
