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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Oct 27, 2017.
Less talking, chating, socializing & smoking
How do you get energy from other one source, rather than sleep?
90 more to go
Posting for yesterday, day 28/90
Forgot to post for day 1 and 0
Day 3 4 and 5 are going be a bit harder, I know that, but I WILL NOT BONG MY WONG
Day 3 and still goinggg
Why without coffee??? Don’t tell me we should stop coffee, I CANT
Day 20/90. A few urges here and there this afternoon. Staying busy enough that it's not a relapse issue but it is very distracting from the schoolwork I'm trying to do.
When you cant, maybe you should.
Day 2/90 is coming to a close.
Manageable so far, but anticipate a rough road ahead. Taking this one step at a time.
More often than not it is the feelings of guilt, shame, unworthiness and inner-hate that drive me to PMO
Gosh the feelings of self-loathing and shame can be so powerful - the body screams for PMO as a way to temporarily divert the energy
Started Challenges Jan 25, 2019
Relapsed 7/220 Days
Longest streak 67 days
Current Challenge 25/90 no PM
Day 66 of weight training
Day 16 - reduced alcohol, caffeine and sugar
- a hard night and morning with lots of urges
- went to bed early but woke up at 1:30 and couldn't fall back asleep until 4am, then slept until 9:30am
- during the 2-4 AM time that I couldn't sleep, I found myself picking up my cell against my will and compulsively looking for any cute girls I could randomly find on YT or Google images without doing a search
- I suppose being back to civilization with internet and my familiar fapping surroundings after camping for 3 days became a trigger
- half my brain kept saying don't do it (random image search), the other half of my brain would say, they are only porn subs and you are not actively looking for anything
- BIG mistake, huge! the avalanche effect always takes over and I neurotically keep looking until my eyes are sore and my brain is numb and I see some skin, making me want to PMO
- the boundary (game) I draw for myself is that I can't actively search and type in words that would lead to porn, so cute girls would be okay, cute girls naked wouldn't - I know I'm fooling myself!
- I know that is stupid to think that way but this addiction is very controlling and relentless
- I am debating whether to call it a relapse or not as I didn't search nudity - only p-subs, and didn't O to anything either
- I did O in the shower an hour later on purpose to relieve the sexual tension and not cause another epididymal cyst
- I would have had sex with the wife but she was out of commission with a headache and feeling sick
Again! I stand up again and fight it no matter what!
Don't fail it today
Plz hold on
I know u can force urself to M even in flatline
How many times u made it bleed & used sharps to do it
I know u r great but please leave me this time for hell sake
Let me be normal once in my life
Set me free
"to my mind, my curse, my addiction"
Am done with this challenge on to the next one
Nofap is a commitment