2 days nofap. Made an interesting discovery. I have been thinking it is my lack of affection and connection from my mom that has caused most of my issues. I know it caused a lot. But I thought of something. Whenever I get passionate about something or do something meaningful around my dad he shames me for it. I did something really sweet and meaningful for my mom a few months back and my dad had to sarcastically say "why don't you guys hug?" said a meaningful prayer at Christmas a couple of years ago and he had to make fun of me. I love photography and he has mare me feel stupid. Whenever I get passionate he puts out the fire. What a dick! No wonder I did poorly in school. I lost my passion. No wonder I have never pursued dating. I lost my passion. No wonder I have never gotten any songs finished. No wonder I sit on the couch all the time doing nothing. He stole my passion. Perhaps that is the reason I never connected with mom. He would shame me if I would? I am taking my passion back. God has been restoking the fire. Let the fire burn.