Today I gave in and I did M and O. I didn't use porn though. I read about people who can orgasm without ejaculation and read about sitting in a meditation position and looking in the mirror while masturbating and trying to be present and not fantasise. I've been recommended to try looking in the mirror before but it always felt weird in the past when I tried to do that. This time at 1st was still a little weird and I did stop a few times but then I did keep going to experience what it was like. I think maybe one of the benefits of this is it can take away the feeling of shame, if you can look yourself in the eyes while masturbating and not feel shame that you're doing something wrong I think that's a more healthy way to release the energy instead of watching porn and feeling ashamed and guilty after or fantasising over people you know or have met. I know I didn't manage 90 days but I still feel proud of myself for lasting nearly 2 weeks no PMO. I will start the counter again after this post and try again. I'm going to see if I notice any differences in how I feel tomorrow. Another thing that has been helping me on this journey is looking in the mirror each morning and evening and saying "I love you" to myself.