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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Oct 27, 2017.
Day 6 of 90.
Made it to Day 5 but I relapsed so Back to Day 1
Day 19/90 check in
I need to. Day 0.
Only 5 more days until I achieve this goal. What has helped me was to keep busy. After all the saying goes: idle hands do the devil's work
Rise up, champion!!! You're young and strong, you can!!
Still got a guilty feeling from my last relapse, mainly to do with going on webcam stuff because it's technically cheating. I've told wife about this before when it has happened but just feel so awful for letting her down again! My goal is to never watch porn again, I feel confident that I can do this with enough support in place
Day 0 No M,
Day 81 No P
OK, I feel guilty for not following my own advice and feel like I am letting people down. It's not that bad, I did not watch any porn of course - that is completely out of my life already. I was really horny and since I can't see my girlfriend because of this f*****g quarantine I was edging a bit yesterday but in the end I finished and couldn't hold the orgasm. The bad part was that I started knowing that I would probably end like this and I was scrolling my instagram feed where there were also some sexy images. I put the phone away but I couldn't stop. I know that the circumstance of being alone at my flat for a week already not seeing anyone in person put a lot of pressure on me - but that is the circumstances and not an excuse.
I am resetting my counter. I want to finish this challenge with no Porn AND Masturbation. I keep my No porn counter to remind me of the progress and it is a big victory in itself.
Hold on, guys We will get through this!
Lockdown is now officially declared, however we can go for walks and runs as long as we go alone or max 2 people.
I was in the easy urge relapse kinda phase, snapped out of it yesterday. Now I am trying to go back on track with everything and have a backup plan in case this whole thing gets worse and more restriction will be set.
I'll keep you updated.
Day 2 of this streak. No more P, no more peeking. Instead I'm increasing confidence and self-love.
I built this reality, now I will build a better one.
I joined this forum 136 days ago. Of those 136 days, I was 124 days without PM.
Yesterday night [POSSIBLE TRIGGER:] I saw my neighbours have sex in their kitchen. It taught me a lot about my addiction, which is why I want to write about it here. Seeing that, I felt that I could not look away, but it did not make me hard at all. Nevertheless, I find that I am thinking about it the whole day now. It left me with this feeling that I can only describe as huge frustration - like an unfulfilled desire, but with the memory of the desire already gone and just the frustration lingering.
And it's this frustration that makes me want to watch P, which I know will do nothing to make me less frustrated. In fact, it will prolong and intensify the frustration. But I think that's exactly what this addiction is all about. Somehow, I'm addicted to watching, to being an outsider, to wanting to be a part of something but not being a part of it, and staying in that feeling for as long as possible.
If this whole thing would be about sex, and I'm just horny a lot of the time and I'd use PM to quell that every time I can't do it with another person, then I don't even know if I would consider that behaviour all that much of a problem. But it's not lust driven: it's driven by a desire to guzzle in the feeling of being a frustrated outsider. Because that's a feeling that I'm so familiar with that it feels somehow safe. That's what I want to return to everytime I'm confused and anxious. That frustration somehow is my safe space.
But I'm not going to feed this addiction any longer. I'm rewiring my brain again and again and again and again, countering with other thoughts and new, positive habits, until that strain of thinking, that desire, that addiction, is out of my system forever.
Hang in there, man. This corona virus situation definitely is a huge test for everyone doing this challenge - for everyone, period - but we will make it through and it will make us stronger. Stay strict on yourself. Remind yourself daily on why you don't want to do M. You've got this.
That's so cool! Can you tell us what you've been busy with, mostly?
ZERO. I needed sometime to think!
The virus turned my private life upside-down: I am never alone, I work at home, my daughter and my wife are 24/7 present... Also:my wife is pregnant. I feel like this is (on top of the virus-related responsibility) a good moment to start again. We will beat Corona and we will beat Porn!
5 days. Times are stressful but that's no excuse to give up. Life is stressful! We just have to find ways to manage it. Stay strong friends.
Absolutely man! I don't think what we're doing is an all-or-nothing deal. Very important to acknowledge what we've achieved along the way. It reminds us what we're capable of. Keep at it!
Day 4 of 90
Day 5: Cloudy day got me feeling tired, still gonna try to get a workout in. Trying to wake up earlier.
Was tempted to open porn on my phone when I woke up with morning wood, but it's funny how just getting out of bed quickly put me out of that mood.