Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Day 12/90 Day 624 attempting this challenge Global Counter 95% (since joining) Day 219 weight training (M, W, F) Lifestyle: reduced caffeine, alcohol and sweets
Day 0 No M Day 287 No P I have to come clean. A lot of sexual tension felt these past few days. Edged a few times and decided to finish it to let go of the tension. No porn as usual. But definitely will reset my streak. Sorry @Merry Terry. Starting again effective immediately. Have a nice sunday everyone
I’m resetting my counter. I want to be tough on myself. No P, but I allowed my self to focus on sex constantly for the last 4 days and it ended today with me M. I’m embarrassed to actually type that but I’m hoping it will get me out of my head and back to clear thinking. I was on vacation all last week at the beach. Being with my wife while she is in a bathing suit made it very difficult for me to not focus all my attention her way. We had sex on Tuesday and Wednesday started the chaser effect. I didn’t make any attempt to prevent it. Wednesday I pushed to hard to have sex again, which didn’t happened and left me feeling down. Thursday continued the same. The whole drive home I couldn’t keep my hands off my wife. Pushing the envelope the whole time. Again, all day staying in my head with no clear thinking. Thursday night I was turned down again. Friday, more of the same, turned down again. Yesterday, I continued to punish myself staying in my head. Never looking at P but pushing the envelope on social media with pictures. Seeing how far I could go without going over the edge. Ive said this before, but when I’m stuck in sex mode, i can’t snap out of it and I have no clue who I am and ultimately become embarrassed of my self when I finally snap out of it. Last night, I had sex with the wife, but I could tell she only did it because of the pressure for the last several days. This always leaves me down afterwards because I’ve put too much pressure on her. But that didn’t stop me from waking up this morning and continuing my bad thoughts, social media pushing the edge and not keeping my hands off my wife. I try to disguise it by it being a “massage”, but I always push it too far. She finally pushed me away and I went to bathroom and finished myself. I felt like I had too to finally snap out of it. Which is a lie. What has helped is me finally coming here and typing this out. I’ve told myself multiple times in the last several days I needed to come here and type my story and it would help, but I didn’t. I let it go to far, so here I am, back at day 0, feeling embarrassed, pissed and disgusted with myself.
