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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Oct 27, 2017.
Day 1.completed. Day 1/90
I think it's DAY 6
- Currently maintining my abstinence. Strong willed to quit.
- Trying to maintain my lifestyle. (running/exercise, do visualization, write/journal/autoanalysis/self-talk)
- Trying to simplify the things I do to quit the addiction.
- Recently I talked with my Psicologist and the current task is to simplify my methods and exercises to quit.
- I had too many notebooks for different things, and a lot of stuff lying around that I just had to discard.
And a very unorganized clothes-closet.
- Trying to maintain my optimism throughout the outbreak and as I said, keep my lifestyle as much as possible.
But now more than ever, I should quit the addiction, because there might come a time, where I will need my new self.
I also have to say, that when I have a craving for PMO, it feels to me as if it is like I would go to a place,
where I have everything, like all the love, the relationship I always wanted, peace, satisfaction and so on...
And my brain tells me, that it would make my day better, because otherwise I will go down a rabbit hole of suffering and anxiety,
but the truth is, I am coming out of the rabbit whole through the suffering and through the anxiety!
All the best and keep winning!
You're not back man. You're just back if you let it get you. Find the patterns in which you fap and get rid of them one by one every single time you fap. E.g. for me staying in bed was the time to fantasize and ...
“The truth is I am coming out of the rabbit hole through the suffering”
This is everything about life in a nut shell my man. Everything that’s worth having happens through suffering. I love that you said this.
Day 4/90 yesterday
5 Days! Today would be a hard one - lack of sleep and some work to do, but I will make it!
I was busy that's why I haven't been in this thread anyway today is day 89
The whole covid situation and the theories took a toll on me.
Soon, I won't be able to go outside without a mask on my face anymore.
And I have difficulty with breathing through my nose most of the time and I wear glasses.
Quitting my addiction with this limited freedom and pressure is almost impossible if not, impossible.
I have no one to talk to, my friends don't give a shit about me. (and when I say no one to talk to, I mean in critical moments, where I would need a direct response)
The family members I live with are toxic and unsupportive.
When this virus situation gets worse, most of my family will actually be dangerous for me, because they impose their reality over mine. (they watch the freakin news everyday, they're completely brainwashed)
The home I live in is my grandfathers and he doesn't hesitate to exercise authority over me or my other family members that I live with.
The rest of my family is selfish and elitistic.
They pretend they don't see me when walking past me on the street. They're such cowards...
"They pretend they don't see a problem, because the problem is too uncomfortable to deal with."
My psicologist basically just told me to expand my friend circle. The reality is, that no matter how much I work on my friend circle,
everyone is nice, but then they also say they are very busy, and NEVER talk to me again.
And honestly this whole social media bullshit is ridiculous, some people send me friend requests, just to be friends with me on facebook, but don't give a rats ass on sending a message. Ever.
What the hell is the point?
What heals most is human connection, socializing, and exactly that is being taken away.
What could I do?
I will think about that tomorrow. I'll try to wake up early and meditate.
Cool I am on day 5
Day 631 attempting this challenge
Global Counter 95% (since joining)
Day 222 weight training (M, W, F)
Lifestyle: reduced caffeine, alcoholand sweets
Day 4 complete with lot of dirty thoughts swirling in my mind