[90-CHALLENGE] THE NINETY DAYS CHALLENGE !

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I feel I'm really on the brink of relapsing. For the last few days, I keep watching things on Youtube that I shouldn't watch, sometimes no nudity sometimes yes, always for the purpose of numbing my mind. I didn't M to it, so technically I'm not counting it as a relapse, but I'm very aware that if I continue like this, a full relapse is basically inevitable. I'm gonna have to make this a challenge and prove to myself that I am capable of getting back on the right path without ever resorting to M after a foolish run like this. Wish me strength.
 
I feel I'm really on the brink of relapsing. For the last few days, I keep watching things on Youtube that I shouldn't watch, sometimes no nud sometimes yes, always for the purpose of numbing my mind. I didn't M to it, so technically I'm not counting it as a relapse, but I'm very aware that if I continue like this, a full relapse is basically inevitable. I'm gonna have to make this a challenge and prove to myself that I am capable of getting back on the right path without ever resorting to M after a foolish run like this. Wish me strength.
I think you should stop using YT completely in moments like these. You don’t need to see some worthless video to numb your feelings! Just sit back, relax, and acknowledge those feelings. Think about whatever that may be bothering you. Redirect your thoughts to something else. Think about the consequences of a relapse: it will just give you more emptiness and you’ll just feel bad about yourself. Go outside, give yourself a treat. Do something else, like listen to feel good songs or watch animated movies!
You can do this man, I know you can. Think about all of us rooting for you here, think about your own goals of becoming a better person.
 
I think you should stop using YT completely in moments like these. You don’t need to see some worthless video to numb your feelings! Just sit back, relax, and acknowledge those feelings. Think about whatever that may be bothering you. Redirect your thoughts to something else. Think about the consequences of a relapse: it will just give you more emptiness and you’ll just feel bad about yourself. Go outside, give yourself a treat. Do something else, like listen to feel good songs or watch animated movies!
You can do this man, I know you can. Think about all of us rooting for you here, think about your own goals of becoming a better person.
Thank you for those words of wisdom! It’s a ridiculous habit indeed.
 
Day 6. I have to keep in perspective that even though I've failed in several challenges, overall I have cut way back on PMO over the last couple years. I have not yet reached my goals of a more long-term control of this addiction, but I have indeed made significant progress (on average). I think maybe it's important that sometimes we look at the big picture of our recovery, so we don't get too discouraged by setbacks along the way.
I agree.
 
Day 3


I feel I'm really on the brink of relapsing. For the last few days, I keep watching things on Youtube that I shouldn't watch, sometimes no nudity sometimes yes, always for the purpose of numbing my mind. I didn't M to it, so technically I'm not counting it as a relapse, but I'm very aware that if I continue like this, a full relapse is basically inevitable. I'm gonna have to make this a challenge and prove to myself that I am capable of getting back on the right path without ever resorting to M after a foolish run like this. Wish me strength.
Don't do it bro! I am not telling you to M, but M-ing on it's own is better than being on the verge of watching P or actually watching P. You got this! Just turn you attention to something else! You know how this works already, shut down the urge - it only lasts 10-15 mins and it goes away!
 
This is day 22 of 90.
I joined this forum 351 days ago. Of those 351 days, I spend 310 days without doing PMO.

Today, I'm gonna be both harder and easier on myself.
Harder as in: no semi-sexy content, no straight up sexy content but excusing it because I'm not M'ing, just no running towards the internet to numb me in any way.
And easier as in: I'm obviously stressed out, so whenever I feel like I want to run away from what I'm doing, I'm gonna just lie down for a few minutes, or do some light exercise, or make some tea. I've worked insanely hard in September, I deserve a break now. And the internet is not the place to take a break.
 
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