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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Oct 27, 2017.
Strong urges today as expected after a relapse.I am trying to keep myself busy as much as i can.Staying strong!
This is awesome. One day at a time!
Can't focus after relapse .actually whenever I relapse after a relapse it's hard to get on track.
Starting it over. Here we go my friends! This definitely hurts. But how do we succeed? By never giving up and learning from our failures.
When such negative effects are visible, then PMOs Poison is starting to kill your body functions. The pleasure has become bad.
Man, the first time I tried this, I made it to 3 weeks. Since then, I can't seem to make it longer than a week. I always start really strong, then I feel like urges are at a peak between days 7 and 15. During that time, I feel like I'm about to burst if I don't give in. I feel like all the rationale and motivation for staying strong goes right out the window. It's really frustrating, because the moment I do fall to temptation, my clarity returns, and I feel like an idiot for letting myself fall, or letting my resolve wear thin. Anyway, time to climb back up the hill. Gotta figure out a bette strategy for approaching Day 7-8, since I know that's when my urges peak.
I would say I actually found out the actual reasons as to why I kept on relapsing. And what caused me to start watching porn in the first place. When I understood those two then I started working on solving them.
1. I was feeling lonely and always wanted to be in a social circle where am cared for. But then I noticed I was always expecting people to reach out and they would never reach out. I started to reach out and reconnect with my friends but I noticed my conversation skillz where poor I didn't know what to about when am talking to freinds, so I googled how and what to say when holding a conversation and I would apply the tips I got.
The conversations made me forget about nofap cause I was having so much fun getting to know my freinds I never used to talk to. I would spend days without getting any urge or craving.
2. I always wanted to be in relationships but I was very bad with girls upto this day I have never been with a girlfriend.
I have been working on this for now three years since I started university upto now, meeting random girls and I talk to them. Through this process I gained confidence and courage to talk with girls. Its has also shaped me mentally and my conversation skillz. Really helped me develop emotional mature. Through the various experiences with the girls
I used to ignore those emotions and they express themselves in form of a relapse. Since I didn't know what they where and how to deal with them when they appear. My determination and resolve where strong but emotions and feelings used come when i least expect them or when I was on the low and they hit me really hard.
Now the final thing which helped me was to become self aware of any emotions and urges and craving I had.
I started noticing which emotions and thoughts I would exprience when am exhausted, when happy, when am bored, when am anxious.
I became fully aware of all those.
Now I know when am exhausted or tired my brain will make me exprience alot of cravings for sex or porn, yet am just mentally tired and need rest.
By becoming self aware of my emotions and thoughts, am now able understand what my body is expriencing and reacting according that.
Day 25/90 completed.
Last night woke up in the middle of the sleep with some dirty thoughts running in my mind. Lost a good amount of sleep with these dirty thoughts running in my mind. After lot of tossing in the bed fell back asleep.
Now all these years of porn have had psychological effect. Now the greatest problem I face is that I check everyone out (Females) and everything out. Sexualise every situation. Hope I can come over it one day....
just saw the counter - 39 days.
will try to wake up early tomorrow sleeping like 5 hours today. lets see if i can do it or not. take care!
back in here and starting from scratch with an extremely low mood and self-esteem...
Day 43/90 no PMO
Day 43 no key word searches for P or P-subs
Day 654 attempting this challenge
Global Counter 95% success since joining
Day 233 weight training (M, W, F)
Lifestyle: reduced caffeine, alcohol, sweets,
and FB video feed (has porn subs)