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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Oct 27, 2017.
I had a good day earlier- still hanging on strong!
Day-47/50 every day i am winning. Make Small goals and count everyday. Be Present be Happy.
day1 i will update every couple of weeks
Not so many urges when I put social media away.
56 days done, slacking on posting on here, but at least have been having days full of stuff other than porn and fantasizing, which is good. So far so good, need to keep my head and heart in the game for one more day
Day 7 Nicely Done
Relapsed... Take Two! Day 1/90
Day 28/90. I was able to finish up a hobby project yesterday so that was exciting! It was a 3 month project. But at the same time it made me wonder if I did a good job or if I did something wrong and didn't do it right. And I know I just need to be okay with learning and not being the best because I know I'm improving and getting better but I want to be perfect. I don't want my identity to be in my work or hobbies. I want my identity to be in Christ. But I often become so focused on my work or hobbies I often inevitably end up making those things my identity and when I fail or perceive failure then it's heartbreaking. I hate that. I end up crawling back to porn using it to make me feel accepted because I just can't handle life on life's terms. UGHHHHHHH.
Thanks for listening family.
If I'm being honest, I feel like acting out this very moment. Last night was a guys hangout thing, which was great, but it meant a) I didn't get much sleep and b) there was alcohol involved, which always alters you chemically to some degree and affects you the next day. Also, there's still the marital conflict that's not resolved from yesterday.
I just need to get ready and get out of the house and get to church! And drink some water and maybe do some journaling to process some of this rather than wanting to escape it.
I had a buddy I used to work with who often said "The perfect is the enemy of the good." I didn't really get what he was talking about until I'd gotten more experience working on various projects. I took great pride in my work (I'm a programmer), but at some point I realized my attempts to make everything 100% flawless were just not realistic. There's always compromises involved, trade-offs. And there's always little details, subtle interactions no one could have anticipated.
The point is I was only making myself stressed out trying to attain something impossible, and furthermore it didn't really matter since the quality of my code was already well within tolerable limits for the applications we were building. What I'm trying to say is, it's always great to strive to be better, but at the same time I think we can learn to accept those little imperfections that show up as just part of the deal. Even the bigger setbacks are just steps on the road to improving ourselves. God may be perfect, but we humans are just works in progress.
You got this! Cheering for you over here! Don't do it! Just don't do it! Love you brother and keep going! Good job checking this in. Yeah, getting moving probably will help for sure. Shower, go to church, prayer, maybe get a coffee or something that reconnects you to the goodness of God in the midst of the pain of conflict.
Thank you chiyu! I needed to hear that. My project is a small programming project so your advice is especially relevant to what I just finished. Thank you!
Day 49! Happy Sunday to all. Let's get one more day/
I'm pretty much a novice at programming and was wondering if you had any recommendations for a small side project for beginners.
day 37. For the past 2 days I feel that urge to act out. My body, my brain is definitely looking for a P kind of stimulant. it's been hard to overcome those thoughts, urges but I do my best... don't even think to give in. I don't know if that is slow beggining of flat line or just a regular proces. On the other side I went out for a coffee with a girl yesterday, we had a great conversation and time together, she cooked curry for me .... don't remember when was the last time girl cooked for me. She's very kind and polite, don't want to mess it up.
I wish you strenght chaps!
You should not give up. I remember at one point you were past 2 months mark. However, I think you need to rethink your strategy so that when you get the urge you know what to do. I believe in you!
Started day 7.
To be honest it wasn't challenging.
I think we also need to be careful when we fail, don't binge on P if you fail. That way your body remains stronger and it becomes easier to go beyond current best streak.
I said this because I have noted the challenge is not as hard as when I joined nofap.