Day 75 A bit anxious and bored. Still no highs in a long time. Neither happy or sad. But I can't quit now.
Hey, Zori. Saw you “liked” one of my posts, so checked in here. Your emoji is possibly one of the best here. One thing I’ve ranted about dealing with my addiction is there’s no halfway. It’s binary. You have to be “all in.” Don’t know if that’s part of what you imply by the toggle switch , or just illustrating you’re turning something off. Either way, good work!
Thanks for checking in! I chose the image to show I was making the effort to turn off this addiction but I get your point about being fully committed. I've been on NoFap for almost a year now and am finding that for me these habits run deep. The ultimate goal is a clean mind that doesn't seek out sexual stimulation and isn't in thrall to it when it comes across my path. It's going to take a persistent long term effort to get there. I still have a long way to go yet but I am making some progress. It's been really helpful to read journals of others struggling through these same challenges - thanks for your thoughts and your activities on this forum!
Hey man you relapse quite often, what makes you participate in this challenge for? What are your cues? How can I help you
Day 0, again. I will not stop. New month, new challenge. I will try my hardest to stay clean. I relapsed yesterday (after midnight) because of insomnia (had a test, had to sleep). Didn't use P though. I know that it's not healthy to rely on (P)MO to sleep, and I don't want to make excuses, but this was the easiest and fastest way. Now my exams are basically over until next month so I don't have any excuses. My stress levels have been really high lately and I started consuming more P. I'm not a believer and I don't buy arbitrary morals or stuff but I felt physically dirty each time, and drained of my energy. Beforehand I M'ed too often (like once a day) but without P. Starting to develop better habits though. I will get back into the habit of posting in other forums as well (3 days, 7 days, 14 days etc.) in order to get "quick wins", which I believe are important - discipline doesn't build itself in the course of a week and motivation can help. Unless it bothers too many people of course lol. Stay strong.
Day 76 It's too easy to skip meals when on NF. Make sure you eat enough food. Not strange at all I felt anxious yesterday. I didn't eat enough. But now I feel really calm. Some P thoughts pop up every now and then but I try to ignore them. It's just the brains echo of the past. I've used PMO as a replacement of a loving relationship.. or in other words I was too lonely and isolated to get a girl. This shyt goes deep. We need to be brave and dig into the roots of our behaviours and thoughts when doing this NF journey to clear the blockages within us. Often something happened right before we started doing PMO, something traumatic. And it just went on and on for years. But it's 100% possible to heal.
Day 24! Sorry I didn't post the past few days, I was at a cabin in the woods with some friends. The trip was really great. There was wifi but no cell service and I left my laptop in my backpack the entire time. We just cooked and hung out and drank (too much haha) and spent time together. It was easy to stay good. Now I'm back at my desk, a little sad, a little hung over, and the idea of PMO sounds soooo nice right now. I won't give in to temptation, I know I won't, but if I'm being honest this is a moment when I can feel that little voice tugging on my resolve saying, "why not? It's just once, it would help you feel good about being home and then you can get your work done afterwards, it won't even really matter. Besides, all your friends are doing it, I'm sure they haven't thought twice, just relax and enjoy." But I won't give in!! Stay strong guys.
Thank you for your support, my friend. Last year I was able to achieve a long streak with the help of this forum and the friends who attended. Given my past record, I hope this year I will be able to achieve success once again with the help of this friendly atmosphere. Unfortunately, I have not yet been willing to avoid some of my hobbies to achieve this success, and this has been the cause of many of my relapses.
There’s something about being tired and even a little hungover. I feel like that’s my biggest trigger. Day 67.
