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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Oct 27, 2017.
I appreciate your sincere encouragement. Thank you!
1/90 It seems that when I relapse I attract really bad stuff in my life and my brain 'malfunctions'. It has also been tough getting out of bed this morning. But I am not going back no matter how shitty this situation is right now. I am going to fight for my freedom with everything that I have got. I ain't going back to slavery.
Hang in there guys!
I'm relapsed again...
Reset to day 0..
Day 6 done.
Really glad to see those of you who relapsed still here and working on it. Well done! Almost all of us have been there and it's the hardest but most important thing to keep going after a relapse.
I relapsed im starting again from today 0 /90
As I said earlier, I'm going to spend less -to- zero time around technology/the internet. I'm going Offline. I'm planning to do a 30+ day digital detox along with my NF. I won't leave the forum. I will be back. I just need to unplug everything. I want to get outside more and just feel my own precense. I want to stare more into books than into screens, and another benefit with books is that they don't have search engines but you can still learn from them. The less distracted I am the better insights I receive about life and about myself. Another reason is that this computer/internet addiction is connected to other addicitons like P. Addictions are always connected like a chain when one triggers another. I have a rule, I've never used my phone for the internet except for "emergencies".
I only use a computer for that. I'm going back to an old cell phone again. When the phone is "smart", the one who's holding it is the dumb one. When the phone is dumb you're the smart one. -that's how I see it. And if you have no phone at all you're a geneious.
The other day something interesting happend. I seached images online and then (ofcourse) came the impulse to look for hot women and (ofcourse) that lead to visiting a P-site. But I never touched it, I just looked at the images and then I suddenly thought; "sure these women are very attractive, but this is all an illusion and a waste of my energy, doing this will only hurt me.. I should stop doing this", so I stopped watching it and went to sleep. There was no wet dream, and no se*ual dreams what so ever. That is progress, that is self control. I could set the counter back to 0 but I didn't do MO, so I'll just keep going. I just count today as day 1 without P.
A while after I stopped watching it the urges went away. The urges will always go away at some point. They are only temporary. But when your're in that state it can feel like it's going to be like that forever until you release it. But that's not true. It goes away after a while and you don't have to "finish" anything. There's nothing to finish. Just let it go, just leave it, it's not worth your energy.
I also want you to be aware of this: all those P sites (and also YouTube) intentionally upload specific se*ual content to stimulate you in a certain ways, to "implant" certain ideas, or in other words to brainwash or maipulate your thought patterns with certain content and algorythms. Including wierd pop-up ads on P-sites. The first step against that is to be aware of the fact that they trying to attack you with that sh*t. The second step is to leave it and never come back. My advice is that you stay as far away as you can from YT and P sites, and instead use other (non P-) sites where you have freedom of expression. If you don't like something and you know it's wrong. Stop using it. The best and most direct way to vote is with your money, with your choices, ..and by unfollowing certain channels. When you're on NF you will become stronger, your inner compass will stop spinning around and instead show you the right direction. You will become much quicker and effective in your decision making.
Practicing Self Control will strengthen your self-trust. When you trust yourself, self control becomes easier.
Any addiction can/will isolate you. Yesterday I cycled past a jogger and for some strange reason I couldn't stop smiling (was it the cold shower before? ..why am I smiling?), he smiled back at me and said hello as we passed each other. Other strangers greeted me that day. People are generally very reserved where I live.. similar to japanese people. There are so many potential friends out there waiting to be discovered. Why do we isolate ourself with P and other addicitons such as online gaming and alike?
That's not life.
After multiple long streaks and by continuing the inner journey of NF I've noticed similar changes within myself as with others from the other side of our planet. The illusions of life starts to break down piece by piece for every NF attempt. Every failure is a progress of learning. Suddenly you see less race, less stereotypes, less labels, and more humans. Material things that used to have meaning to you loses it's value. The illusion of separation starts to break down and the realisation of everything being connected becomes more and more clear. With a clearer mind free of illusion comes a hunger, or a need for authenticity, a need for truth no matter how uncomfortable the truth is, and this state of mind will attract the answers/solutions to your questions/problems in life. I know it's not just me. I've seen others develop spiritually while doing NF. It's all connected.
P has hijacked our perceptions. P is a product of a distorted collective mind. Not an expression of love.
Have you tried taking 1 or 2 cold showers each day? I strongly suggest you look up the Wim Hof method. I'm sure it will cool you down when you're having urges. It helped me.
day 1 /90 of new life
Day 1/90. I will aim to update daily. I was on a really good run (about 6 months) but I have let it slip but I think I am in that mentality where I don’t mind not achieving the goal but that will lead me back to where I was before in time. I think it would help to have another goal to concentrate as well which I need to come up with!
In the last 30 minutes I have accomplished two things.
1. Completed 10 km run.✅
2. Completed day 16✅
Fell to chaser effect, but I'm back now. Day 1!