[90-CHALLENGE] THE NINETY DAYS CHALLENGE !

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Oct 27, 2017.

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  1. Ice22

    Ice22 Fapstronaut

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    Soon: Day 13

    Long post warning:


    I think for many, the cycle of relapsing is connected to a closed heart. To be disconnected from your emotions. The fear of feeling, the fear of dealing with emotions and memories that are uncomfortable. But being closed emotionally is not your natural state, it's and unnatural state and from that comes unnatural behaviours. And unnatural environments also leads to more unnatural states --> and --> behaviours.. That's the reason to why for example straight men in prison can develop homosexual behaviour which is the complete opposite to their natural behaviour, or a person can become more cold and agressive when their natural state is the opposite.

    PMO is very similar.
    You stuff your emotions away but still there's a need to express them. Finally you may try feel something but you're so disconnected that you can't feel aything at all. And/or you're so unhappy and tired that you feel like you have lost your inner compass. You turn to P to get that "fix", that false feeling of just "feeling" something. But it's not love, it's not emotions, it's just a digital drug. A dirty pleasure without any meaning at all. You M in front of Cold pixels that represent nothing but fake women that doesn't give a damn about you.. Instead of connecting spiritually with a real woman you PMO and afterwards you feel even emptier than before. You wake up the next day, bad sleep, and everything feels darker than before. After a while you start to miss that "feeling" because that's all you think you have. You turn to P again and from there everything goes downhill..

    But the good thing is:
    To break this cycle. You need to really find ways to connect to your emotions again, or do something that awakens your heart. You must deal with uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. The more you open up the easier it will get to stop the PMO cycle. You PMO because you are unhappy, and you become unhappy by doing PMO. I'm not religious but I am very spiritual in my own way and I think spirituality really can help you out of PMO-addiction. Anyway, the thing is that it's so easy to break the cycle when you've seen/felt the "light".

    Another thing connected to this is Crying, and there's so many misunderstandings around Crying.
    Men have a massive burden in our world. You are expected to be like this sturdy, solid rock and stuff your emotions away. Not only women punish/shame men for having emotions, but other men shame men for having emotions and they even shame themselves.
    There's one "good" part of this and one bad part. The good part is that it can make you tougher and more disciplined in life to not give up easly.

    But you see, it's not Crying itself that is a problem, it's Why you cry, and How, you cry.
    The bad part is: men suppressing their emotions for a long time will have heart problems, heart attacks, anger issues, aggression, addictions like PMO, Alcohol etc.. It's a chain reaction of unnecessary pain and misery. Crying is incredibly healing especially for men because many of us avoid it at all cost.
    Crying the right way is to be honest with your emotions, letting your energy flow naturally, and to release the heaviness from your heart.
    You have the right to feel as anyone else have the right to do. I think crying alone is the best you can do as a man because you become more vulnerable.. and the last thing you need is for someone to disturb you, shame you, or cause you to suppress your emotions even more. You can do it in front of other people, it depends on the situation. What I'm trying to say is be honest with your emotions, cry like a man and not like a 10 year old school boy. I don't mean to sound harsh, but you guys probably get what I try to say here.

    There's more strength in Crying, opening up your heart to your true feelings, and to not give a damn about what other people think about it - than it is to suppress them just to appear "strong" in front of others. There is no strength in hiding your true self.

    There's this belief that as a man you shouldn't cry or have emotions at all. But it's very far away from the truth because men are emotional and creating beings. We're just not emotional the way women are, there's a difference there, but we still have the need to feel.
    Most men are artists, directors, inventors etc.. Many things have been created by creative and emotionally intelligent men.
    Living life without emotions, without an awakened heart is a very gray and boring life.

    I'm working more and more on opening up my heart beacause over the years I've realised more and more this is the way of life.
    There are many ways but it's quite simple: Do what you love, Help Others, and Be a Better Person. Give love without demanding or expecting anything in return.

    Why is it that so many people experience after a long Nofap streak your heart is acitivated and you can literally feel you heart center/area in your chest? It's because P-M-O over-stimulate the sexual organs and "blocks" the heart. There's no love in P like it is in a real relationship.
    It's this awakening, transmution or refocus of energy that makes you feel so different when you're on (let say) day 30 on Nofap compared to when you started. But it's ofcourse also that you have preserved your semen and it's essence.

    I have trouble keeping things short but, I wrote this because I think it's essential for people (me included) to know about these things.
    Hope it resonated with some people. I will find out more ways to open up my heart/emotions because it helped me to stop this PMO cycle.
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2021
    bromor, Rangula, The seeker and 4 others like this.
  2. CzanCzanCzan

    CzanCzanCzan Fapstronaut

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    Day 23!
    Won't stop until i hit 90. After 90 I'm never going back to P again.
    I'm with You guys.
     
    August799, bromor, Kairose and 6 others like this.
  3. Zori

    Zori Fapstronaut

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    There are a few options for you:
    150 day challenge: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/the-150-day-challenge.270322/
    Beat your longest streak: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/beat-your-longest-streak.258236/
    365 days: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...hundred-and-sixty-five-days-challenge.147422/

    These all seem to have a good level of activity in them.

    Good luck!
     
    bromor, MS PBH, The seeker and 4 others like this.
  4. Zori

    Zori Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for this. You've said some important things here. Re-connecting with our hearts is key.
     
    bromor, MHero, Chi405 and 1 other person like this.
  5. Ice22

    Ice22 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks! I hope everyone find it useful. I edited/polished the post and added some more to it. English isn't my primary language hope the grammar works.
     
    bromor, Zori, MHero and 1 other person like this.
  6. Chi405

    Chi405 Fapstronaut

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  7. MHero

    MHero Fapstronaut

    Thanks for sharing, it is really helpful :)
    Keep the good work.
     
    Chi405, bromor, Zori and 3 others like this.
  8. Srisurya

    Srisurya Fapstronaut

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    Day 4 relapsed multiple times. Feel like trash whole day. I wasted significant amount of time which I could have used wisely.

    Here is to 7 day milestone first.
    Day 0/7.
     
    Chi405, bromor, MS PBH and 5 others like this.
  9. OMINI MAN

    OMINI MAN Fapstronaut

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  10. Strange_

    Strange_ Fapstronaut

  11. CzanCzanCzan

    CzanCzanCzan Fapstronaut

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    Don't worry it happend to all of us. Keep going friend!
     
    Visperad, Chi405, bromor and 4 others like this.
  12. Bijuu107

    Bijuu107 Fapstronaut

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    Day 18. It,s realy a hard day. I notice on my free days it' more hard as usually. Need a better social network here in my town.
     
    Visperad, Chi405, bromor and 5 others like this.
  13. Bijuu107

    Bijuu107 Fapstronaut

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    I didn't read all, but I like the first part. I,m also somehow spirituall. Had this experience too with the emotion and I think the feeling part is eassier, as the part with the expression of the emotions. For example crying in front of others.
    I think the most problematic emotions in terms of porn are guilt and shame. Because we have guilt, if we relapse and can't let it go , we want never masturbate or watch porn again. Instead to let the guilt and shame first go. What I mean is that we run from the guilt away. And I notice it,s easier to stop porn if you just talk about it with others or just accept, that you was masturbating and maybe you had fun and? Just accept the shame instead of blaming yourself for fapping. I don,t mean specialy you If I say " "you" Ice22.

    I hope my english is not to bad to understand.
     
    Visperad, Chi405, bromor and 2 others like this.
  14. MHero

    MHero Fapstronaut

    Day 2,

    Unfortunately i feel depressed :(
     
    Visperad, Chi405, bromor and 4 others like this.
  15. CzanCzanCzan

    CzanCzanCzan Fapstronaut

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    That's a part of the path. Healing has started. Don't worry.
     
    Visperad, Chi405, bromor and 2 others like this.
  16. Bijuu107

    Bijuu107 Fapstronaut

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    Smiling helps. Imagine you are an actor and have the happiest day of your life.
     
    Visperad, Chi405, bromor and 4 others like this.
  17. MHero

    MHero Fapstronaut

    The question i always have during such times is: should i force myself to do the things i should do, like studying, or should i just give up on doing something productive and enjoy a game or a movie , because anyway i can't concentrate?
     
    Visperad, Chi405, bromor and 2 others like this.
  18. ShinyTurtle

    ShinyTurtle Fapstronaut

    Completed one day without PMO.
    Lets go for a double!
     
    Visperad, Chi405, bromor and 3 others like this.

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