Day 13 I got things to say... But maybe I'll save it for tomorrow. The main point is I made it through another day, although I think the victories ring a bit hallow these days. My conviction isn't completely back after all and I think part of me just wants to relapse. I know that'll just set me back more though. I originally just wanted to beat pied and learn how to have better relationships with women. I'm sure it's behind my ED (at least I hope that's all it is). It just annoys and concerns me that even after completing 90 days that wasn't enough to fix the problem. Granted I did relapse and binge a bit prior, and it was with a pretty abusive ex so I don't know... Those things might have mattered. I have a fear now that nofap can't help me with this problem, and that's affecting my motivation I think. I just shouldn't have relapsed to begin with. I'm frustrated to be retracing my steps still and feel like I ended up making no progress. That can't be true though as 13 days used to seem like a massive streak to me. I couldn't make it through a day for much of my life (heck even only once a day was impossible it had to be a bunch), and I did this pretty easily compared to before. The addiction has been considerably (and I mean considerably) weakened compared to what it was, so my quest here on this forum must have done something. Maybe it's just that nofap doesn't excite me anymore. I think I used to get a dopamine rush from getting streak numbers I never thought I could get. When I'm lacking in motivation I know I just need to buckle down and be consistent though, so I won't give up. Guess I ended up saying a certain amount anyway.