[90-CHALLENGE] THE NINETY DAYS CHALLENGE !

Deleted Account · Sep 14, 2022

RestartGame_ said: ↑

Day 1

I have been in a relapsing rut lately. I can't seem to get myself back on track.
So I decided to write an entry here, to create some momentum.

I believe it is because I simply don't feel compelled enough anymore to quit. There is no more motivation/reason for me to quit, which makes me feel excited for the results. It seems that I don't give a f about the results from abstinence anymore.

Even though, theoretically I absolutely do.

So I have been taking walks, doing self talk, writing entries. Keeping it simple.
Going to the gym regularly.
Working on my social skills. Continuing with my Piano and music studies.
Eating well.

Attempting to stabilize/improve my life.

But there is always that critical moment, where I'm like "Ok in the end, it seems like we are not prepared enough and we need to re-strategize how to approach this. So I might as well just relapse because I have no viable solution now "

My answer: we have everything we need to handle this craving at this moment. Inconvenient moments with strong cravings are inevitable. They will happen with strategy or no strategy. I am willing to put in the work right now. From one day to the other, I will get through this.
This pain is my confirmation that I am making huge progress.

The critical moments, usually happen due to triggers.

-Yesterday i got triggered , because I was playing video games for too long. I got into zombie mode.
-Other day it was because I wasn't able to relax myself from work-stress.
-Other day it was because I trained legs at the gym far too late and then I couldn't sleep at night.
-Other day it was because I got triggered outside by something, was able to deal with the thoughts, however didn't feel like doing anything.
So I was bored and slightly pissed.
-Other day it was because I got frustrated from social interaction at work and I got so depressed that literally just the depressed pain itself drove me to just relapse, because I didn't see the point of doing anything else.

This is probably another rationalizations and thought I have:
"My life is absolute crap despite all the work I put in. The best thing I get is delusions and pep-talk from motivational people and myself, making me think that I am making huge progress, when in reality I am so far back, that I might actually not survive in the society a few years from now."

My answer: Looking at things objectively, your life is totally fine 7/10. Only downside is that you live with your mother, but it is not for the same reason as most people. You are working a good job and actually helping her a little bit financially, instead of the other way around. Living by yourself in Portugal requires you to drop a lot of things that require financial sustenance. Like classes and therapy. If you even rent an apartment that is possible to finance at all.
You can always live with other people, but, one way or the other, it will require you to drop the classes and the very things that are constructing a better career future for you.

So socially, your life might be shit, because you have trouble feeling empathy towards other people and your desensitized to normal every day social stuff. So you end up bored and agitated all the time. + You also come off as a negligible person if you don't pay attention.
However, you have awareness over a lot of things that other people are aware over you by now, and so it is easier for you to keep certain things in check and put your behavior in context to social norms. Providing you with a possibility to integrate you into society or a friend group with that personality.
And until now it is working well. You're acting as this sassy humorous low energy person who has a bright smile. So that fits in very well.
Keep it up

So in other words. You think that your life is crap because you are desensitized to it and prefer PMO over it as it gives you a stimulatory high.
So there is a big gap in the reasoning here.
The advise from motivational people saying that you make huge progress, are not delusions per say, because you are undoubtedly making progress.
Taking it with a grain of salt sometimes also doesn't make a huge difference, because it is a matter of perspective anyways. Point is that you are 100% making progress.
The reason you complain is simply because the pain of the now hurts and you are sick of expecting instant results and not getting them.

Rather expect small results, cherish them and enjoy the grind.

--- THis whole text is for myself mostly, but feel free to comment.
I'll try to make some more simpler entries.

Have a great day everyone
Click to expand...

Don't lose hope brah. Get over it. I know it ain't easy but if you don't try and relapse again and again you'll never achieve your true goal. We're here with you. Let's get over this addiction that ruins our lives.

imandrew · Sep 14, 2022

Day 1

glnb8 · Sep 14, 2022

Day 2

pressge · Sep 14, 2022

62/90 Another great day. New child arrived home so gotta prepare for sleepless nights. Hopefully can keep myself mentally strong, even if I am exhausted.

Toni7 · Sep 14, 2022

Day 40!

ninjaWarrior29 · Sep 14, 2022

Day 4 today. It is very hard to control the lust and cravings. But, having been on this path before and relapsing after 25 days the last time, I realized that these lust and cravings appear because of some red flags like Instagram, tiktok, youtube, etc. So, I am trying to clear my feed on all social media of anything arousing and deleting some useless apps as well. I promised myself that I will not repeat my past mistakes from now on and will fight harder to defeat the pmo devil and I shall fulfill that promise to myself. More Power from the Most High God. Let's go.

Kiryu · Sep 14, 2022

Day 0

RedMink · Sep 14, 2022

Day 2 completed.

ninjaWarrior29 said: ↑

I realized that these lust and cravings appear because of some red flags like Instagram, tiktok, youtube, etc. So, I am trying to clear my feed on all social media of anything arousing and deleting some useless apps as well.
Click to expand...

I deleted some of my social media apps as well: facebook, instagram and reddit. I have to say it's really freeing and I feel like I have so much extra time on my hands now. Though sometimes it can get boring without them and I will have to urge to turn to P. Got to stay vigilant!

jackthebook · Sep 15, 2022

Day 30

jackthebook · Sep 15, 2022

Day 0 - sex with wife - reset my challenge counter

chiyu · Sep 15, 2022

Guys I slipped about two weeks in. Restarting. Day 0.

Deleted Account · Sep 15, 2022

30/90- A third of the way done in this challenge.

newtry · Sep 15, 2022

Karom said: ↑

Congrats on making on hitting the 90 day milestone! Very encouraging! Keep going!
Click to expand...

Thank you

glnb8 · Sep 15, 2022

Day 3

ninjaWarrior29 · Sep 15, 2022

Day 5 today. Having started this detox from pmo process, I feel like I have suddenly so much extra time and realized that I used to waste all this time before watching and doing pmo. It gets to you as you have never witnessed this before and your body starts to crave that 5-minute high when you relapse. This is a prime example of a red flag. I need to keep myself busy and not let boredom get to me or that will again start the spiral of pmo. Wishing everyone power and stability to continue this journey and evolve to be a better man.

imandrew · Sep 15, 2022

Day 2

very strong · Sep 15, 2022

day 1 done thanks to covid i feel i dont need to jerk off

pressge · Sep 15, 2022

63/90 Long day with ups and downs. But pulled myself through again.

Jack778 · Sep 15, 2022

Day 1 (after relapse on Tuesday)

Visperad · Sep 15, 2022

Day 0

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