[90-CHALLENGE] THE NINETY DAYS CHALLENGE !

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Sorry to say guys. Day 5 was a bust. A bust down back to day 1. I c didn’t resist the urge So starting over. What should have been my day 6 today is my day 0 again. But armed with new knowledge about myself. My people perish for lack of knowledge. So I am aware that if I am so tired that I can barely keep my eyes open and keep falling back to sleep when sitting up … just stop fighting the sleep and go to sleep. No tv. Definitely no phone or internet. Because in that state of exhaustion my body’s urge to view p is too easily triggered and then way too strong to resist. And my hands have “muscle memory” . So this morning after I got my wife out the door to work. Feeling so exhausted like yesterday I went back to bed. And forced myself to stay there and sleep without any stimulation. And sleep until now. Even though I am hungry as all get up. I feel so much more rested. And looking forward to pushing myself onward to my longest bike ride yet, to the library, to study and work! Now I can stay out of bed the rest of the day. And work a plan. I think today will be a most successful and accomplished day! BTW I did bike yesterday but it was like pulling teeth. Had no strength. Expect better today. Was trying yesterday to push through the exhaustion and failure to forgiving myself and proving that I could still move forward. Felt ashamed to write anything later yesterday. And for a very brief moment questioned myself as to why to continue. Rereading my and others past posts and the encouragement others have given to me brought me home.

Wwhat I want to say now is based on my tradition of lived out faith.
Wait, I will refrain myself from saying more than the following here. There is so much to be learned from truth lived out and shared between us brothers, that does not require endangering one another’s growth by saying something that may be a shutdown trigger. I hate using this as an example but it makes the point so clear- say anything even close to derogatory about Trump to a die hard MAGA supporter and everything else one may say after that may be suspect and viewed possibly as fake news. So, like not entering a home I am not invited in… if you are interested DM me and I will talk further from my belief foundation. But as for now, suffice it to say that one of my heroes in the Bible is the apostle Peter, the boldest of screw-ups and an example of what I might call a reboot junky. I can so relate to him. Well that is about all I will say about that here. If you want to hear more just DM me. But as for now on to day 0! With a smile and hope! Thanks guys for sharing your life with me and helping maintaining this as a safe place for me to share mine and grow. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks!
 
YALL. I was 24 days since I last viewed p*rn and 17 days since I last m*sturbated. I just relapsed. I’M SO MAD. I am trying to learn what to do for next time and how to learn from this. I just immediately came here to type this.

Last year, on my longest streak (73 days) I glanced at p*rn on day 17 - I didn’t even realize that day 17 must be a rough one for me and should have been more vigilant.

I guess I’ll say why I relapsed this time, but there’s no excuse. Yesterday when I was in town I literally was so h*rny and have never been THAT h*rny in public and it kind of scared me. Today, I had a long but good day at work and came home, ate a big meal, and laid in bed so tired and exhausted. I realized I think I might be getting a bit sick and as I lay there I recalled ONE search engine website that I forgot to block. Ugh. It’s blocked now, but I am going to analyze this so that I don’t ever do this again. DANNNGGGG ITTTTT. Man I was on day 17.:(
Day 17 itself is an achievement bro, you’ll do it again! Also, one relapse in 17 days isn’t that bad, your brain will make it easier to reach the target now. I’m sure you can fly past 3 weeks this time
 
@ED Vil @aftermath
Man thank you all so much for your kind words - that legit means so much to me and it honestly made such a difference in my morale and mindset today! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Day 1
Today I stayed super busy and tried to distract myself from the fact that I am back on day 1. I tried to be positive and look at that fact that I can make this streak the best one yet. I will say that I am super out of it, filled with brain fog, and super exhausted and tired. These are the normal feelings I get after a rel*apse, but this time the lows didn’t hit me near as bad as they usually do and I attribute that to both my brain healing from these days on NoFap and the kind words of @ED Vil and @aftermath, thank you all so much, again.
 
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