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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Oct 27, 2017.
and i relapse
got very bored today and home alone. but i learn from it. it´s very important to keep your time occupied, free time and addiction recovery don´t match. so i´ll try to set an agenda in my mind for the next day, try to do the things that i really want with my free time, just need to set it on my mind and not go wandering about.
funny thing about the addicted brain. it never starts with porn, it´s too obvious, too bold, no, it´s always about a sneak peek here and there, some sexy image or whatsoever, and then it starts creeping in, seconds becomes minutes, you start drifting in pages, you get aroused and them comes the point you just say "fuck it" and have a full blown relapse.
very clever the addicted brain, secretly, slowly, softly, it puts you in a position when it´s very hard to turn back. like a predator, it sets the trap and only in the end you see his face
Eh, relapsed yesterday D:
Gotta start again, 01/90
Day 3 complete.
My goal is better self-esteem and self-confidence, more concentration and focus and power towards what I want in life and feeling good about who I am. I think the only possibly workable sexual activity for me that might not hinder that goal would be in a committed relationship, which has eluded me for 65 years and seems unlikely to happen any time soon, if ever. So my plan is to continue this path of committing to no PMO, and assume I will be staying with it for the rest of my life.
That said, I followed an impulse this afternoon to look at photos of attractive men online, which led to PMO. I think I was on day 95 or 96 of no PMO. I'm making another committment to 90 days of no PMO. In the previous commitment that has ended, I would still go into my head sometimes and fantasize about sexual acts. This time around, I intend to consciously avoid that.
Day 30/90 thanking God for another day, another opportunity to experience life porn free, thank God the urges are minimal, my focus is personal growth and meeting new people to basically add value to their lives.
Wow nice, getting close to the big goal,
Hey there sorry about that, hey at least you finished the 90 days, that should hopefully make it easier to go another 90, good luck
New job was okay. Hardly thought about porn all day because I was kept busy. There was also the cougar supervisor who kept winking at me. Not sure what (if anything) to do with that. But working today did make me want to use my kettlebells tonight.
Coming to day 3 today
Day 2/90 feeling very good today... played some video games with a friend for 1 hour and my mind is clear... All day I was keeping busy, saw my gf and helped her with some errands, now I'm going to bed and I couldn't be more motivated! Let's go brothers!
my bad, next start
Feeling pretty low at present. I've just had my wisdom teeth removed and the dentist has said I can't do exercise for several days. My trainer is in agreement. I'll be sitting around the house being very bored for the next several days and I'll admit the urge to just fall into bad habits is pretty strong right now.
Day 02/90, go!
Day 16. One day at a time.