90 day challenge accepted

I need a change, I'm mid thirties and caught in the PMO loop and its dumb. Its a compulsion triggered by anxiety via boredom, stress, exhaustion etc etc. All things I ought to be addressing in real ways rather then just dumping a bunch of PMO on it. I guess I do because its easy accessible has little immediate consequence. Truth is though, and I say this to all, its wearing on me. Effecting my mind, my sex life, my work, my everything and I'm tired of just slipping back into the muck. So here I am accepting the challenge. I will make it to 90 starting today, that means I have to consciously avoid stuff I've been unconsciously doing. I'm sure thats going to take a little practice but I know its possible. There are other people who have quit so I'm doing it.

Peace

 

This is just like that little marshmallow test they did for kids. You can have one now, or you can have two later. I've been just stuffing my face when I feel like it rather then using exploring the Idea of waiting and having a better experience later. I think the hardest part for me is getting over this initial hump and uncovering all the triggers and garbage that comes with it. I'll most likely have some unproductive days in the process, I already know thats coming

 

back again this is typically when I'd be PMO to deal with anxiety and stuff. Breathing deep looking for other alternatives

 

starting to feel triggered and its only been 5 mins, yay

 

Ok here I am with the goal to post every day. I'm guessing this will be massively boring to most of you, but helpful for me and cool if it helps you too. I went to bed late last night and got up early feeling pretty tired and crappy. Haven't felt too trigged to PMO today but thats probably because of my new resolve to give it up. I'm sure gradually I'll start feeling drawn toward it again. Sleep and taking care of my self is connected with my PMO loop. As much as I can I need to do things to bring happiness and health into my life so I don't funnel the negativity that comes from neglect into addictions or people around me. Thats all for now

 

feeling a little triggered, more specifically I feel bored I don't know why boredom is so painful for me and the rest of humanity but it gnaws at you

 

relapse blah so relapses are only bad I guess if I don't learn from them and course correct. I obviously can't have my phone in the same room as me at night if I'm alone. I can fix that and I can try again. There is a real pressure to just give up and give in to old habits when you've sabotaged yourself. Anyway. Moving on. Get back on the the horse learn from the mistake

 

OK so all of this is just well wishing if there isn't some structure to follow it up. When I'm in my right mind I'm able to keep things on track but when I'm compromised, tired, overwhelmed, angry thats when I'm at my most vulnerable. During those times I need to find ways to remove myself from situations so I don't end up back where I am right now. I've got to really latch on to the Idea of how harmful this stuff truly is

 

I'm physically tired and I want to fill the void with PMO, what are some ways I can address the root need that will actually help me rather then just distract me