90 Day Journal - 2nd Try

Hi All,

I did try abstaining from PMO last time, was successful for almost 130+ days. One of the best times (personally and professionally) I had in my life. But relapsed, and lately I've stuck in this constant loop of 2-3 days abstaining, then my mind switching itself to auto-pilot mode and before I know, I would do the same mistake.

This time, I want to take the plunge again and complete 90 Day again. I've tasted the sublime form that I was in when I was abstaining. Want to get back on track again and make my future self proud of me

Day 0:
Starting this journal for daily notes. Wishing myself and all of you people out there, All the best and Do not Lose Hope. Do not lose your focus on the end objective - to be the best version of ourselves and help ourselves as well as others to grow in life.

Peace.

 

Hi AED,

I do want to live for the rest of my life. But I'm not telling that I'll do this ONLY for 90 days. This is just a start for my recovery. I hope you get it

 

Day 1:

Was not feeling well, hence did not get a chance to update here. No thoughts or anything whatsoever, maybe due to my bad health. Still recovering

 

Day 0:

Relapsed just now. Was getting better on my health, and my brain suddenly sensed this opportunity and I went with the flow.
Mood: not well, feel bad, tiredness

 

I get your point here. As @AED also pointed out earlier, I might have to give up the days count and just continue to abstain for more than 90 days. Thanks for the comment!

 

Day 0, Again:

Got a free day, and had thought of working on my stuff for longtime. While I was working for 2-3 hours, the sudden urge came back over me. It was overwhelming. Tried fighting it, but in the end I wasted my chance again.

Need to chin up and get back on track. I'm feeling really bad when documenting this record here. Whoever watches this (including myself), if you are in that situation where your mind "suggests" you to do it just once, DON'T. JUST GET THE HELL AWAY FROM IT.

 

Hi @followtherabbit - I'm feeling a bit better now since i completed my first day. Had urges to go back, but stopped on time and let it pass through.

Will check out the video now. Thanks for recommending!

 

Day 2:

Slightly lower urges than usual, which is a good sign. Feeling a bit more happy, more content. Hopeful to continue this journey.

 

Day 0, Again:

Relapsed today. Unbearable urge to do it.
Will get back up and continue the journey. WIsh me luck!

Edit: Some notable cues I want to point out that i've noticed while relapsing:
1) Half Awake / Ready for Sleeping
2) Being Alone
3) Free Time
4) Mobile usage

Will try and limit my mobile usage at bed before sleeping, since I tend to relapse just then.

 

This is really good advice. I'll try to follow this up to see what else I can discover about myself and this addiction. Thank you for this post.

- RP

 

Day 0:

Relapsed today. Again, same cause, I had free time and mobile and no one in my house today. I don't know why I cannot be with myself alone without any external distractions, which further leads me down the path of relapse.

Maybe one way to incorporate internal discussion is with meditation, which I've never tried before. That being said, I will now try as much as I can to not meet this deadly combination of traits I have put up earlier.

Any suggestions on how to improve time spending with oneself without distractions? Appreciate your feedback.

- RP