90 Days alhumdulillah - Benefits/Advice/Strategies - 7+ years of failure

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by PurifyingMyself, Apr 5, 2018.

  1. PurifyingMyself

    PurifyingMyself Fapstronaut

    Salaamo Alaykom,

    I have been struggling for 7+ years to quit. I reached 90 days yesterday. I will share the reasons why this time I succeeded (based on my thoughts prior to the streak and after the 90 day streak). I will also share the benefits.

    Reasons why this time I succeeded:
    1) New beginnings give me hope - so I started a new attempt in January 1st. Every day is a new day. Be hopeful.
    2) Monitoration leads to modification of behaviour. It was the first time I successfully used a journal. I tracked my progress (not just streak). I used google sheets and bookmarked it. Every night or two, I would update.
    3) Exercise. I told myself - I will invest $500 this year into my health (mental/physical health). I started looking for gym memberships, they were too high, I almost gave up but continued looking, and joined a local club where people workout.
    4) Changed jobs. Previous workplace was unprofessional even with regards to clothing. Current work is more modest. Change your environment. This pays lower, but worth it.
    5) Laptop is gone! I use the computer at work or share the desktop with family in the kitchen.
    6) Got an old phone.
    7) Naturally... I don't know how or why, my social interactions with people increased. I guess less opportunities for social media interactions means greater interaction with people.
    8) This one should be actually number 1 or number 3. I visited the success stories page... a lot! Seeing that other people succeeded made me realize I can do it and reminded me of the benefits.
    9) Used K9 and OpenDNS, blocked reddit and PMO material


    Benefits:
    1) Self-control. I didn't think it was possible for a man to stop thinking out P. Now I don't even think about it and it seems disgusting. Didn't think that was possible. Its possible.
    2) I deal with stress in a healthy way. I'm more aware.
    3) Eye contact has improved. But more importantly I started to notice the "superpower eye contact" effect on day 91. I know what that superpower eye contact is because I've felt it before in previous streaks. This time I never got it within the 90 days, but all of a sudden day 90 or 91 I noticed it when I was doing business with a woman. At that point I focused back on work. Superpowers exist. They will come on their own time. This time they came late. Idk why. Just be patient.
    4) In sports with the guys, I dominated/intimated the other guys with my eyes. This developed very quickly and people said I had some intense look in my eyes. In my mind I was focused. But yeah just sharing.
    5) Stress management improved - sometimes I would sleep after work and feel refreshed.

    Strategy:
    1) Set short terms goals that are achievable within an X number of days. E.g. do 15 pushups for 5 days.
    Short term goals should be lesser in length than your average length of streak.
    I.e. if I relapsed every 3 days, then set goals that take 2 days to complete. And accomplish those goals and reward yourself.

    My goal was to pair my successess with short term goals and pair them with my PMO streak. Why? Because to reach the goal of 90 days, I had to celebrate small victories. And I didn't want to celebrate 7 days of PMO-free and then another 7 days of PMO-free, because everyday was difficult and should be celebrated. Rather I celebrated accomplishments of healthy habits/small goals and used that along side my 90 day goal.

    More on this later.
     
  2. Menace

    Menace Fapstronaut

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    masha allah brother, may allah the almighty give u more light on ur path to recovery. thnx for sharing your story
     
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  3. Kunal Singh Chauhan

    Kunal Singh Chauhan Fapstronaut

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  4. That's quite a great man.
    Changing environment does help. Thanks for mentioning that point.
    Keep going bro. May Allah bless you with great physical, mental & spiritual clarity. Keep helping!
     
  5. VeganRights

    VeganRights Fapstronaut

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    Nice dude, keep it going! Thanks for sharing, inspiring!
     
    PurifyingMyself likes this.
  6. Loui-fap-A-rooni

    Loui-fap-A-rooni Fapstronaut

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    Nice brother, Im on 90 days tomorrow and it feels GREAT ...This is the furthest Ive gone as well and I feel like I have finally conquered the temptation (for now lol) Great work and may you find more peace, joy, and happiness. I know what you mean about the eye contact, and overall CONFIDENCE.!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. very inspiring !! good job!!!
     
  8. MasterGamer

    MasterGamer Fapstronaut

    good job ! Hope you the best in the future , i remember like 90 days before we were talking like if it was yesterday and now i am seeing you in the top mashallah : )
     
  9. James0224

    James0224 Fapstronaut

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    I guess less opportunities for social media interactions means greater interaction with people - that’s what I am hoping for! Haha

    Congratulations on your 90 days
     
    Awakeatlast likes this.
  10. Blazkovic

    Blazkovic Fapstronaut

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    congratulation and god bless you man .
     
  11. Gofurther

    Gofurther Fapstronaut

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    Alhamdulillah my brother. I'm happy for your success. I will reached it one day.
     
    wanttoprogress likes this.
  12. wanttoprogress

    wanttoprogress Fapstronaut

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    Insha Allah you will, I pray for you.
     
  13. The Revenant

    The Revenant Fapstronaut

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    Bravo. May the Lord be with you.
     
    Ashar likes this.
  14. GarageBand77

    GarageBand77 Fapstronaut

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  15. Zach's

    Zach's New Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations, and thank you for sharing ! I am especially grateful for the Strategy. I wouldn't have come up with that idea myself, and it will definitely help me a lot ! I'm going to do the same :)
     
  16. Ashar

    Ashar Fapstronaut

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    Aleykum selam my brother,
    thank you for sharing this great story. There have to be always a reminder just like you who gives people the feeling that they can achieve their goals.
    Best Luck and assalamu aleikom
     
  17. Gofurther

    Gofurther Fapstronaut

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    thanks. i want to ask one question though, does the urge goes away on your 90th day?.
     
    MasterGamer likes this.
  18. MasterGamer

    MasterGamer Fapstronaut

    Hey bro, i never personnaly passed 1 week but i Read a lot of posts here and the answer to your question is yes and no !

    During the 2 first weeks you will have really hard urges to pass, after that, you will will still have urges but less harder. You will always have urges even after 1 year doing nofap but you will be stronger and will beat them easier.
     
  19. Gofurther

    Gofurther Fapstronaut

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    same here bro, the longest i achieved is 10 days max. then back to old habits. i hope we can get through this time bro
     
    MasterGamer likes this.
  20. PurifyingMyself

    PurifyingMyself Fapstronaut

    treat every day like day one.
     
    Gofurther likes this.

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