90+ days and tips (Long read)

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Deleted Account, Jun 1, 2020.

  1. Now I hesitate to call this a success story as I have long thrown away the thought of streaks, or anything to do with goals for fighting this addiction, but as I know that many people have an aim in this fight, whether it be a week, 90 days or forever, I thought I would give some ideas on what has helped me and my "success".

    Now first of all, I always wanted to reach 90 days, for years I worked my way trying to get that blessed streak, that big number that seems to be the main goal of most people starting NoFap. I get it and know why people do so, it is the "rebooting period", the time it takes roughly for your brain to rewire itself away from Pornography, and it's especially important for those suffering with PIED which was the reason I found out I was addicted.
    So the first three and a half years of my fight were to get to this point, I had many streaks, many large streaks even one point getting to within 5 days of 90, but always lapsed in the end and had to start all over again, until I realised that the length didn't matter, it had to be forever, but I didn't have to aim forever on that day. That's my first tip:

    1. Just focus on the day, you needn't be sober forever today.

    Now when it came to my addiction in the past I let it thrive, I let it get to the point were I would get so wound up, so bored or so sad that I would end up going to the one thing that I knew would numb the pain, that could make me get to sleep at night or stave off the long days of nothingness. I played video games endlessly throughout the days, I lazed around and didn't do much each day but go to work (in a job I disliked) and then came home and smoked weed... and played more video games.
    It was in these moment when I was most at risk of lapsing, and I knew I needed to do something about it, so I finally (after many attempts) quit smoking weed and took up swimming and yoga. Now this wasn't when I had my revelation of just taking it a day at a time, that came over a year later, but having these hobbies gave me something to do and have goals for. On top of those I started college studying Joinery and Carpentry and finally found the thing that I was meant to do, not work in useless shops doing nothing with myself forever. Now although you may not know what you want to do, that's fine, that's just something extra that helped me, but that all is part of what leads to my second tip:

    2. Find hobbies and a form of excercise that you love.

    After my revelation previously mentioned (which came from the book Recovery by Russell Brand, don't wanna take the revelations credit totally) I still had a couple of lapses, this has been since 14th December 2019, so in the past 6 months I have lapsed twice, once on February 6th my birthday and the second on March 2nd, which threw me for a curveball. So I needed something else to help me get through and I found out within these 6 months and had once forgotten, but breathing is the most important way of taking you away. I'm not just talking meditation in a traditional sense, but if you're having an urge just to take a breath, one looooong breath that can center yourself once more to the world outside of your own brain. So that is tip number three:

    3. Just breath and take a moment/meditate

    So when I first figured out that I had a problem back four years ago now, I decided to do some research, I found out the problem and I read in to it like crazy, now it's not that it totally helped me as I was blissfully unaware for a long time, but it brought me to the fighting mindset whether it was totally successful or not. On top of researching I found myself a psychosexual therapist, a lovely person who has helped me all the way until still in the present. They've helped me understand my past, how my kinks and fetishes began and how porn has affected me overall, but also how I can get away from it, keep my mind going forward and not detouring.
    Another great thing I found recently is the SAA, Sex Addicts Anonymous. I won't say that I am a follower of the Twelve steps and I have figured out in my own way that they're not really for me, but they are something that everyone fighting should look into as they can help, either as a group of people or as the Steps themselves if you wish to look into them. I personally get alot from going to the meetings, as seeing others fighting sexual addiction like myself, getting through it and constantly fighting it is a big motivator and has definitely pushed me further on, so I would recommend looking into it, even if you're not really into it; so my forth piece of advice is:

    4.Find community and learn all about your addiction.

    I hope these four tips can help someone, if anyone reads this, as they've all added up to helping me out to a great extent. I will say don't expect quick changes, this isn't something you get through overnight, it takes time and a whole heap of effort, you'll have ups and downs but if you keep fighting you will get through, but don't resent the fact you have to fight this, it sucks but it's what it is; accept it and just go whole hog because there's no way to get through this easily, you'll need to change a lot in your life. Good luck with your fight!
     
  2. Kamron

    Kamron Fapstronaut

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    After all what happened with your pied brother? Do you have instant boners? How good is erection now?
     
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  3. Brahmachari2.0

    Brahmachari2.0 Fapstronaut

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    Like I know you didn't mean it to be funny, but after reading that long article. I just burst into laughter, reading those questions about the quality of his erections.
     
  4. 3ayshleh

    3ayshleh Fapstronaut

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    keep on my friend
     
  5. Honestly man it's not instant, it takes time and effort to get it there rather than the instantaneous boners of my porn days, but it's better and it will get better with time, it's just a long fight and it will one day be a lot better than today or 90 days ago.
     
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  6. Mattroman

    Mattroman Fapstronaut

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    I look up to you man! I can’t wait to reach 90 days!

    keep it up
     
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  7. Just live for the day and before long you'll be there, it really comes around quick!
     
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  8. rostronaut

    rostronaut Nofap Moderator
    Staff Member

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    My Journal
    Congratulations, these 4 tips are short and crisp and mastery over them surely will yield results. Thank you for the inspiration.
     
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  9. 103

    103 Fapstronaut

    I swear I struggle so hard even to get past like 3 days, so I'm very impressed. Here's to trying and trying again. :emoji_beers: And thank you for the inspiring post.
     
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  10. NO problem, just keep going and one day the right mindset will come to take what you need to fight this into account!
     
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  11. No problem, I used to be the same, but like I say in the post, it's not about the amount, it's all about coming back and one day hearing or seeing that bit of advice that just kicks your head into gear. Good luck my friend!
     
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