90 days and what I learned

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Warren_Beatty, Sep 28, 2016.

  1. Warren_Beatty

    Warren_Beatty Fapstronaut

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    I remember thinking at one point in my life after numerous failed attempts to stop masturbating that it was impossible. That this was something I was stuck with for the rest of my days. And there was comfort in the general consensus in society that jerking off and porn were "Normal" and even healthy. But even though society was giving me the all clear, something inside of me was telling me otherwise and I guess the first lesson I learned from all of this was.........

    To trust yourself. Forget what the media says, forget even what your peers say. Forget everyone except that quiet gentle voice within you that never shouts but whispers softly when you take the time to be still and just listen. I promise you its not telling you to whack off and look at porn. Its not telling you to look at what that girl sent you on snapchat. Its not telling you to look at instagram in the hopes that you will "Accidentally" come across some P-subs. I dont know what exactly your inner voice is whispering to you, but I can say for sure its not telling you to do any of that shit.

    So I listened to myself and I knew that I needed to keep trying this until I made it. And so after failure after failure I did it. And you know what, it actually wasnt that difficult in the end. The most difficult part was to listen to myself and ignore everything and everyone else. Do what I felt was right. But along the way I learned some good stuff about myself and about life. I learned that......

    When you use porn, masturbation, call girls, whatever, it doesnt block out the feelings that are behind the behaviour. It actually creates that feeling. And that feeling is usually loneliness. When you engage in PMO you actually create feelings of loneliness, isolation and disconnectedness. I know people think PMO alleviates the feelings but it doesnt. It amplifies them times 1000. Its like cigarettes. When you smoke what you really are doing is alleviating the craving for a smoke. But the thing thats creating that craving is a cigarette. Its something that was created by the behaviour in the first place. The first time you watched porn it was like your brain was hi-jacked and that invader stayed well past its welcome. So everytime you watch and whack off, you feed that beast and in the end you do it just to feed the beast. I used to engage in the behaviour even though I didnt really want to, but I did it just to alleviate some itch I had. So when you break the cycle you realise that you had been hood winked all along. It was a con job. You never needed to do it in the first place and you are soooooooo much more happy without it. And thats the truth. I feel so much more happy now. I think if anyone is reading this, if you get just one thing from what IM saying take this: PMO creates those feelings of isolation, loneliness and disconnection. And the more you do it the lonelier you will feel, the more cut off you will feel from life. And the more you do it the more the monster will control you.

    I learned that there is a gift in facing uncomfortable feelings. That using distractions is counter productive. It keeps you from facing whats really behind the compulsion to PMO. And if you really want to be free, once and for all and stop running, you have to stop the distractions and sit with yourself. Go be alone and feel everything that comes up. I had an incredible experience with this. Theres this cliff walk near where I life. It connects one town to another and its kind of a famous trail. Its about 6km out and 6km back, so 12km all in all. The scenery is beautiful and the sound of the ocean waves lapping up against the rocks is very therapeutic. So during my recovery from PMO i did this walk by myself. i Didnt invite anyone along because I felt it was the right thing to do. And it was. It was just me on that trail and so much stuff came up. I had not phone, no distractions and it all came out. It was painful and intense but it was a beautiful experience and when it was over, I felt that something inside of me had shifted for good. I went back and did this walk a few times and each time stuff would come up. AT the start it felt like a pure well of grief that would never ever end. It felt bottomless and it scared me because I worried that I would be stuck in this for the rest of my life. But eventually it started to subside and what replaced the grief was pure peace. Its like a feeling of needing nothing. That there was no craving for anything, just balance and equilibrium. And I believe this is what made the 90 days for me kind of easy, because after that experience I was at peace and the craving was gone. So what Im saying is this, face that which you are running from once and for all. Let it all in. Go be by yourself and embrace whatever comes to you. Embrace your grief and it will set you free.

    I learned that The super powers are a real thing. Seriously its insane. Its a paradox. When you are free and dont crave all that shit anymore, women just come to you as if by magic. Its like they sense that here is a guy who doesnt need anything from me, whos happy in himself and they are just drawn to this. Plus the sexual energy. Its like they feel your sexual energy and want it. But when you have sex with a real woman the sexual energy is still there. You dont lose it, you share it. But if you just whack off to porn you lose it all. What a waste. Do yourself the biggest mother fucking favour in the world: Ditch the PMO and come back to life as it was always meant to be.

    I learned that your energy levels go right up. You just have a lot more juice in the tank.

    I learned that Talking about PMO is a taboo. Its not here, but here is unique. Out in the so called real world, people are very very touchy and defensive about their porn use. Like it cannot even be mentioned unless you're making a joke about it. If you try to have rational conversation about it people get angry. And I think I know why. I think its because deep down people know they use it as a crutch and it protects them from facing those feelings I talked about above. And when thats the case they do not want to even think about surrendering the thing that protects them from feeling. So talk about it and own up. Because another thing I learned from the people who were brave enough to talk about this was: Its rampant. Like its fucking so widespread its shocking. So many people are addicted to PMO its unreal. Its an epidemic and the fact that every kid has a smart phone now is a serious worry.

    And thats it I guess. I hope thats of some help to someone. I wish you the best of........I was gonna say luck, but luck has nothing to do with it. I wish you the best in life. Listen to your intuition and keep trying. It doesnt matter how many times you fail, just keep getting back up and dusting yourself off. Dont give up, you'll get there.
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2016
  2. Pursuit__Of__Happiness

    Pursuit__Of__Happiness Fapstronaut

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    Awesome story bro. You really nailed it. Definitely, we will remember your advice. Thanks..and keep sharing your ideas. Best wishes.
     
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  3. A very inspirational story, l will think of this when I'm feeling down. All the best in your new life.
     
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  4. Bullseye! You absolutely get it right. Couldn't have said it any better. I heard the voice inside me subtly telling me no or please don't do it, but chose to ignore for many years and have paid the price. Thanks for posting your thoughts and experience. Your post really struck a cord.
     
  5. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

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    Loved To read this. Wish you the best too. :)
     
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  6. akiradavidsong

    akiradavidsong Fapstronaut

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  7. Kall99

    Kall99 Fapstronaut

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    great story! motivational! thanks mate! Good job for u ! :)
     
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  8. JonathanP

    JonathanP Fapstronaut

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    Hey man this was totally one of the most accurate posts I have seen on success stories. Your first section about trusting yourself was so relevant to me. When I am stuck in a cycle of PMO I find a way to convince myself that its not a big deal and that this behavior solves my problems rather than adding to them. You were absolutely right about our struggles being taboo, but NoFap has been such a good platform for me to get some of my thoughts and struggles out there with others. That trail hike sounded sweet too!! Keep it up Warren_Beatty!
     
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  9. Doug312

    Doug312 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for posting this. Moving from unconscious habitual behavior to a conscious approach has really helped me so far. Reading the Brain Hacks and other sources really helped my understand how much this had just become part of my process. Something I did with so little thought or intention most of the time that I was sleeping at the wheel when it consumed my life, ruined my relationships. Sitting with yourself can be hugely painful at first. The constant noise keeps the monsters at bay. Meditation has helped me and I hope will continue to allow me to be quiet and find my authentic path.

    Thanks for sharing your story Warren!
     
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  10. Warren_Beatty

    Warren_Beatty Fapstronaut

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    Cheers bro, appreciate the encouragement. Keep at yourself, you'll get there
     
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  11. Warren_Beatty

    Warren_Beatty Fapstronaut

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    Thanks everyone for the kind words and feedback. I wasnt sure if what I had to say would resonate with any one else. Cheers
     
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  12. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    Excellent post!
     
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  13. Ocean Man

    Ocean Man Fapstronaut

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    Man, thanks! This is really good. I just relapsed recently, I thought for a moment that I should stop Nofap and masturbate all I want. But I saw this and it is just what I needed. Thanks man, God bless you !
     
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2016
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  14. Pizzicata

    Pizzicata Fapstronaut

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    One of the best posting I ever read.
     
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  15. feo1966

    feo1966 Fapstronaut

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    Very nice. Well done.
     
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  16. tbird

    tbird Fapstronaut

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    I started reading your post, and then I read every word. Congrats on your self-discovery. This is how people actually lived in the "olden days" before porn invaded everyone's lives. Young people with ED problems account for something like 30% of that group now - a huge jump in such a short time! This doesn't even touch on the mental and socializing problems they will have. The more people talk about it though, the more attention it will get. Your post should not be locked within the confines of the NoFap community.
     
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  17. Austin99

    Austin99 Fapstronaut

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    This is an amazing post.
    Well done mate. Seems like you've come a long way.
    Really inspiring!
     
    Warren_Beatty likes this.
  18. vms2

    vms2 Fapstronaut

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    Amazing !! well done, you achieved that !
     
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  19. SomeMan2523

    SomeMan2523 Fapstronaut

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    Those were some things to learn, thank you!
    I hope some day I can get at where you are. And take things for what they are in real.
    Thank you! And good job!
     
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  20. IGY

    IGY Guest

    This is one of the most profound posts I have ever read on NoFap. Thank you for expressing it so clearly, it is golden! :)
    Here is an example of something that resonated with me "Warren". I was fearful of my emotions. Therefore, masturbation (initially), was a way to cope with them, to numb them and ultimately, to neutralise them. This continued when I started watching porn and it is only now that I am able to sit with my own feelings without running scared into PMO behaviours.
     

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