90 days completed finally - now getting married in two weeks.

I never thought I would ever be able to go 90 days without at least Ming or watching porn subs but IVE DONE IT!!!!!!!

90 days ago I had been PMOing heavily every single day (several times a day) since my last relapse over a year pervious. I came back on here after receiving an email, I joined the Reddit war which really gave me a good start to this 90 day challenge.

This has been a life long struggle for me, as a very young lad I discovered MOing (although the O was dry I was so young) I never stopped and it got worse and worse and worse until the Internet came along and guess what...... It destroyed my life even more. Like many others here I spent whole days (make that several days in a row) PMOing. This had ruled my whole life, caused me to become socially withdrawn, withdrawn from every body around me without any connections that should have been there. The list would probably be endless with the negative effects that this addiction brings. I mean everything in life was dulled and muted by turning to PMO.

No longer! I have tried before many many many times but I would relapse so many many many times I've lost count, and really at my last relapse ...... I gave up trying to quit PMO.

So I met a girl some time ago, this was when I had some success at being 'sober' from PMO and now we are due to marry in two weeks.

Clearly getting married is even more reason and gave me more motivation to kit this addiction. So 90 days ago I started from PMOing several times a day to going COLD TURKEY hard mode.
No porn
No porn subs
No masturbating
No orgasming
And I realised along the way that I had to try extremely hard to keep my mind off fantasising or thinking anything sexual. It's the brain that needs rewiring and if I were to keep feeding the brain its dopamine hit by fantasising I would be undoing what I was trying to achieve. I believe this to be the biggest reason why my reboot has been extremely successful - keeping the mind clean as much as possible. This was not easy by any means and I struggled and at times I don't know how I managed not to PMO.
My mood did go up and down a little, some days I felt like crap and just needed to PMO (somehow I got through it)
At times I felt like I missed P so much it was like mourning the death of someone.
The worst moment was waking up thinking I had PMOed only to find I was dreaming, that really messed with me.


However I stuck with it this time and did not give in, after around 40 days things got much easier to resist. For me at least the urges were not nearly as bad as they had been and finally I felt in control. Seriously this is the first time in my life I've been in control of myself and it feels great!
I'm confident, able to face life and have great chats with people and really connect with them. Of course most importantly I feel so much closer to my GF.

So what now?

Well I'm clearly never wanting to PMO ever again.
After marriage I will set my counter to one year.

Two weeks and I will be able to have a natural release with my wife.
We will both be virgins on the night and we haven't even touched each other sexually.

Of course my history with PMO may well give me some issues yet but one thing I sure can say is it will be so much better now I've made 90!!!!!!

Wish me luck! I will keep you guys updated.
My head is held high knowing I'm going into my marriage fully rebooted.

 

Thankyou @taqwa
I really do see that I will always have to keep my guard up and tests and trials will happen. Just like the recovered alcoholic just one sip, just one taste will likely lead me back to PMO. So I will keep reminding myself of the harm PMO caused and never forget how hard it was to break free. It's now easier to resist and I will keep coming here to gain motivation and help others.

 

Good luck, if I can do it so can anyone. Fat lazy sod of a bloke I was.

 

Not long now,

Married life is not all about sex but it sure is gonna be fun!

 

UPDATE!

I've been so busy I've not had a chance to get on here. So here is a rundown of my experiences post getting wed.

Spoiler: Click here - possible trigger

So I manage to have over 100 days completely P free M free and O free before getting married. We had a wonderful wedding day and what you all want to hear about a wonderful wedding night. Althoungh it was very painful for her so I didn't finish with PIV but a handjob made me explode! Literally! Lol!
After several weeks she is now getting more comfortable with full sex and no longer hurting (I guess it takes a little time to thoughen up the sensitive areas) So she has been finishing me off with a handjob in the meantime. (And I give her what she can take)

Now as many of you know PMO had been a life long struggle for me, well over 25 years worth of it and it was a very deeply ingrained habit/addiction. So here are some of the issues I've had since getting married even after going over 100days hard mode just before.

One time I found I started to go a little limp on my wife, as half way through she started to get some pain and although she was ready to try again I'm was no longer hard enough. I'm sure this was porn related as the excitement was not there (as it was with porn) and the penis was not getting stimulated directly for a while, instead I just use my hands and then so does she and I'm hard again.
That one time happened because Porn had desensitised me to the fact I had a naked women in front of me. I should of stayed hard but didn't, this was porns fault.

One time during a hand job I had to start imagining my wife talking to me in a 'porn' related way. I was imagining what I had seen women doing in some of the porn I used to watch. It was the only way I could actually cum. Again porns fault, my wife doing what she was doing should of been enough mental & physical stimulation to get me off. But no, I still needed to get a dopamine kick by thinking about my fetish.

This all happened in the first month after getting married.
After so many years addicted to porn its taking a little time to rewire to my wife properly. But I have not gone limp or had to imagine anything lately. I'm finding my wife more stimulating every week and not needed to think beyond what is actually happening in the bedroom/living room/kitchen/garden/car....... You name it! Lol, she can't keep her hands off me. it's great!

Just now and again (usually when alone, bored, and on my tablet) I get a desire to watch porn. It's a strong desire that doesn't last long. I'm able to remind myself that I don't do that anymore. (The reason I came on here is because I had 2 seconds where I was thinking that I missed porn) I've been at the point of typing in my favourite genre into the search bar and stopping there. But I do stop and I'm making the choice to stop. It's crazy to think I have a beautiful hot sexy woman who is so eager to please but my brain still on occasions thinks about porn when I'm alone.

A 90 day reboot is not the end of the journey but rather it puts you in control to move forwards.
How much worst would my issues of been without a full reboot before marriage?
I don't really think to much about nofap lately but I will keep coming back to remind myself of the massive harm porn is doing and that I will still need to keep my guard up, clearly from what I've said above I'm still a recovering porn addict, all be it a fully rebooted addict, I will still have to choose real life over fake porn filled life.

147 days 18 hours since I last PMOed!
New goal: 1 year

Ps if I ever figure out how to change my username on my tablet ...... All Married

 

Your story just goes to show where anyone life could go, I know you will make the 90 days (5 days to go!) it's a massive life change. I hope you carry on and enjoy normal relations with your wife.

Thankyou dude, sometimes I think I'm too frank but I hope it helps others.

It sure does, it's funny as a couple of time my wife calls me her boyfriend and I've called her my girlfriend. Lol but yea it really is great.

 

Strong urges will come and go and guess I reminded myself that the strong urges will go & I'd just do my best to get my mind on something else. As time goes by I had a period when I had a small but persistent urge.... Now that really was as struggle as it wouldn't go away.... Eventually it did and now I don't really get urges to MO at all just sometimes for P.

This battle is massively in the brain and my personal advice is do everything you can to keep the mind clear and clean of sexual thoughts completely during your reboot, ie don't fantasise .... Try to recognise if you start thinking in an unhealthy sexual way and get your mind on something else. This is the reason why I believe I had a very successful reboot finally. It's by no means easy but I found the only way to beat the problem was complete cold turkey, cut off of any and all sexual stimulation. Especially my own thoughts..... After 90 days you will be in control enough and not enslaved by PMO like I was.

Of course I'd advise never going near a porn site ever again as it's just a trap and pointless waste of energy.

There are no doubt many other things that can help that are well talked about here porn blockers etc ( I did not use a porn blocker for the most part as I could always get round them - but they can be useful.)

I think around 40 - 45 day the urges were more controllable and a lot easier to deal with. I really wish you the best, stay active on the forums, that helped me a lot.