90 days completed finally - now getting married in two weeks.

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by All Married, Feb 7, 2016.

  1. All Married

    All Married Fapstronaut

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    I never thought I would ever be able to go 90 days without at least Ming or watching porn subs but IVE DONE IT!!!!!!!

    90 days ago I had been PMOing heavily every single day (several times a day) since my last relapse over a year pervious. I came back on here after receiving an email, I joined the Reddit war which really gave me a good start to this 90 day challenge.

    This has been a life long struggle for me, as a very young lad I discovered MOing (although the O was dry I was so young) I never stopped and it got worse and worse and worse until the Internet came along and guess what...... It destroyed my life even more. Like many others here I spent whole days (make that several days in a row) PMOing. This had ruled my whole life, caused me to become socially withdrawn, withdrawn from every body around me without any connections that should have been there. The list would probably be endless with the negative effects that this addiction brings. I mean everything in life was dulled and muted by turning to PMO.

    No longer! I have tried before many many many times but I would relapse so many many many times I've lost count, and really at my last relapse ...... I gave up trying to quit PMO.

    So I met a girl some time ago, this was when I had some success at being 'sober' from PMO and now we are due to marry in two weeks.

    Clearly getting married is even more reason and gave me more motivation to kit this addiction. So 90 days ago I started from PMOing several times a day to going COLD TURKEY hard mode.
    No porn
    No porn subs
    No masturbating
    No orgasming
    And I realised along the way that I had to try extremely hard to keep my mind off fantasising or thinking anything sexual. It's the brain that needs rewiring and if I were to keep feeding the brain its dopamine hit by fantasising I would be undoing what I was trying to achieve. I believe this to be the biggest reason why my reboot has been extremely successful - keeping the mind clean as much as possible. This was not easy by any means and I struggled and at times I don't know how I managed not to PMO.
    My mood did go up and down a little, some days I felt like crap and just needed to PMO (somehow I got through it)
    At times I felt like I missed P so much it was like mourning the death of someone.
    The worst moment was waking up thinking I had PMOed only to find I was dreaming, that really messed with me.


    However I stuck with it this time and did not give in, after around 40 days things got much easier to resist. For me at least the urges were not nearly as bad as they had been and finally I felt in control. Seriously this is the first time in my life I've been in control of myself and it feels great!
    I'm confident, able to face life and have great chats with people and really connect with them. Of course most importantly I feel so much closer to my GF.

    So what now?

    Well I'm clearly never wanting to PMO ever again.
    After marriage I will set my counter to one year.

    Two weeks and I will be able to have a natural release with my wife.
    We will both be virgins on the night and we haven't even touched each other sexually.

    Of course my history with PMO may well give me some issues yet but one thing I sure can say is it will be so much better now I've made 90!!!!!!

    Wish me luck! I will keep you guys updated.
    My head is held high knowing I'm going into my marriage fully rebooted.

    :)
     
  2. Such a good reminder for me about the importance of avoiding sexual thinking and fantasizing. I love your honesty about how difficult things used to be, and it is so so awesome to hear how much easier it is for you now! I'm so excited for you to start your marriage off the right way. It's going to be so beautiful. Your diligence and hard work is inspiring and I'm sure it will be well worth every moment of the struggle, to give your wife everything she deserves and to get to enjoy her in return.

    Woohoo! This is great. I'm super stoked for you, man. You give me passion to make it to that 90 day mark, myself.
     
    skylar_legit, taqwa and All Married like this.
  3. taqwa

    taqwa Fapstronaut

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    Congrats brother! Off to a good start! My only advice: Don't think marriage will take away the temptation. My story is almost identical to yours. We were both virgins as well. However, I did not have a 90 day nofap streak before my marriage. This is awesome! I am proud of you! I pray this is the spring board that will help you succeed in your marriage and never return to PMO. Keep your guard up. Complacency and arrogance are the two main enemies. Be careful when you get into arguments (you will), this will test you. Life will test you (not to be negative but realistic). Reserve your sexual energy for your spouse. It will cause you to resolve the argument quicker. If you let the problem linger and then resort to PMO when you feel the need that is the beginning of the end. You may even consider telling her about your previous addiction as soon as possible. May you two have much happiness, security, peace, and tranquility. Stay strong! Win!
     
  4. All Married

    All Married Fapstronaut

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    Thankyou @taqwa
    I really do see that I will always have to keep my guard up and tests and trials will happen. Just like the recovered alcoholic just one sip, just one taste will likely lead me back to PMO. So I will keep reminding myself of the harm PMO caused and never forget how hard it was to break free. It's now easier to resist and I will keep coming here to gain motivation and help others. :)
     
    shanky kumar likes this.
  5. shanky kumar

    shanky kumar Fapstronaut

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  6. All Married

    All Married Fapstronaut

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  7. CountryDude

    CountryDude Fapstronaut

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    Amazing congrats!
     
    All Married likes this.
  8. taqwa

    taqwa Fapstronaut

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    You are most welcome. I am happy for you! I pray you have a most blessed and happy marriage. Keep us posted on your successes. I believe in you brother! Stay strong! Win!
     
  9. All Married

    All Married Fapstronaut

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    Not long now, :)

    Married life is not all about sex but it sure is gonna be fun!
     
    TakingTheSteps likes this.
  10. Dogwood

    Dogwood Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations! How old are you?
     
  11. All Married

    All Married Fapstronaut

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    UPDATE!

    I've been so busy I've not had a chance to get on here. So here is a rundown of my experiences post getting wed.

    So I manage to have over 100 days completely P free M free and O free before getting married. We had a wonderful wedding day and what you all want to hear about a wonderful wedding night. Althoungh it was very painful for her so I didn't finish with PIV but a handjob made me explode! Literally! Lol!
    After several weeks she is now getting more comfortable with full sex and no longer hurting (I guess it takes a little time to thoughen up the sensitive areas) So she has been finishing me off with a handjob in the meantime. (And I give her what she can take)

    Now as many of you know PMO had been a life long struggle for me, well over 25 years worth of it and it was a very deeply ingrained habit/addiction. So here are some of the issues I've had since getting married even after going over 100days hard mode just before.

    One time I found I started to go a little limp on my wife, as half way through she started to get some pain and although she was ready to try again I'm was no longer hard enough. I'm sure this was porn related as the excitement was not there (as it was with porn) and the penis was not getting stimulated directly for a while, instead I just use my hands and then so does she and I'm hard again.
    That one time happened because Porn had desensitised me to the fact I had a naked women in front of me. I should of stayed hard but didn't, this was porns fault.

    One time during a hand job I had to start imagining my wife talking to me in a 'porn' related way. I was imagining what I had seen women doing in some of the porn I used to watch. It was the only way I could actually cum. Again porns fault, my wife doing what she was doing should of been enough mental & physical stimulation to get me off. But no, I still needed to get a dopamine kick by thinking about my fetish.

    This all happened in the first month after getting married.
    After so many years addicted to porn its taking a little time to rewire to my wife properly. But I have not gone limp or had to imagine anything lately. I'm finding my wife more stimulating every week and not needed to think beyond what is actually happening in the bedroom/living room/kitchen/garden/car....... You name it! Lol, she can't keep her hands off me. :D it's great!

    Just now and again (usually when alone, bored, and on my tablet) I get a desire to watch porn. It's a strong desire that doesn't last long. I'm able to remind myself that I don't do that anymore. (The reason I came on here is because I had 2 seconds where I was thinking that I missed porn) I've been at the point of typing in my favourite genre into the search bar and stopping there. But I do stop and I'm making the choice to stop. It's crazy to think I have a beautiful hot sexy woman who is so eager to please but my brain still on occasions thinks about porn when I'm alone.

    A 90 day reboot is not the end of the journey but rather it puts you in control to move forwards.
    How much worst would my issues of been without a full reboot before marriage?
    I don't really think to much about nofap lately but I will keep coming back to remind myself of the massive harm porn is doing and that I will still need to keep my guard up, clearly from what I've said above I'm still a recovering porn addict, all be it a fully rebooted addict, I will still have to choose real life over fake porn filled life.

    147 days 18 hours since I last PMOed!
    New goal: 1 year


    Ps if I ever figure out how to change my username on my tablet ...... All Married
     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2016
  12. traveller22

    traveller22 Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations on getting married & your ongoing reboot/recovery. You shared some real gems for the rest of us, especially around the importance of keeping our thoughts as positive & free of sexual fantasy as possible.

    More power to you!

    T22.
     
    All Married likes this.
  13. longjohntom

    longjohntom Fapstronaut

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  14. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    Good work @All Married !

    Keep your guard up all your life!

    Im 40+ and I M'd, MO'd and PMO'd 25 years+.

    I was isolated until 18yo, mo'ing my life away and being too shy and having low self esteem to date. I met a girl that I married. I didn't know about the dangers of MO and PMO for the couple. I had good sex with her, but eventually, because a CHASER effect and my previous addiction to porn, I kept watching it. When sex became scarce, I bought a "doll" and told the wife to pound salt. Told the wife I loved it, doll never say no! That was lame isnt'it?
    I divorced because she became an "exotic dancer". I guess WE BOTH had problems. She went to "please" others in remote locations for money. She made good money the first few times she went out, but in the end, I think drinking and maybe drugs got into the equation. Money dried up pretty quick. I just couldn't live with a person like that, so we divorced.

    Add 2 years of PMO "until it bleeds" lol, alone by myself and I met the woman of my life. Again, I didn't know the extent of my problem with sex, masturbation and porn.
    We are together for 18 years now.
    I PMO'd and got caught when my wife was 8 months pregnant. NOT GOOD.
    So, I just found this site 85 days ago and stopped PMO'ing. About time! After about 17 and 9 months of my life with her I MO'd and PMO'd. Now I'm being a better man. I feel like a better husband.

    It's like newfound love with my wife! It's like a second honeymoon!
    If I would have known before that Porn was my enemy and my weakness, maybe I would've been able to do something about it!

    Good luck with your life and have an happy relationship with your wife. Don't let stupid porn get in the way. Don't let it lie to you again!
     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2016
  15. So excited for you!! It's awesome to see the word "wife" so many times, and I'm sure it feels great to say/write it, too. :)
     
  16. All Married

    All Married Fapstronaut

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    Your story just goes to show where anyone life could go, I know you will make the 90 days (5 days to go!) it's a massive life change. I hope you carry on and enjoy normal relations with your wife.

    Thankyou dude, sometimes I think I'm too frank but I hope it helps others.


    It sure does, it's funny as a couple of time my wife calls me her boyfriend and I've called her my girlfriend. Lol but yea it really is great. :)
     
    TakingTheSteps and Ikindaknew like this.
  17. IamMike

    IamMike Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations man. Very inspiring. I'm on a 90 day journey myself and stories like this keep me going.
     
    All Married likes this.
  18. Andyst343

    Andyst343 Fapstronaut

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    Well done, good on you, great story. Hope I get where you are, and I know exactly what you mean about getting through STRONG urges.. sometimes the urges are so strong I don't know if it can be done. im on day 38, and feel like when I have urge it tries to take over my thinking, so its no wonder people relapse so many times.. So all the more credit to you. Any advice you would give??
     
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  19. All Married

    All Married Fapstronaut

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    Strong urges will come and go and guess I reminded myself that the strong urges will go & I'd just do my best to get my mind on something else. As time goes by I had a period when I had a small but persistent urge.... Now that really was as struggle as it wouldn't go away.... Eventually it did and now I don't really get urges to MO at all just sometimes for P.

    This battle is massively in the brain and my personal advice is do everything you can to keep the mind clear and clean of sexual thoughts completely during your reboot, ie don't fantasise .... Try to recognise if you start thinking in an unhealthy sexual way and get your mind on something else. This is the reason why I believe I had a very successful reboot finally. It's by no means easy but I found the only way to beat the problem was complete cold turkey, cut off of any and all sexual stimulation. Especially my own thoughts..... After 90 days you will be in control enough and not enslaved by PMO like I was.

    Of course I'd advise never going near a porn site ever again as it's just a trap and pointless waste of energy.

    There are no doubt many other things that can help that are well talked about here porn blockers etc ( I did not use a porn blocker for the most part as I could always get round them - but they can be useful.)

    I think around 40 - 45 day the urges were more controllable and a lot easier to deal with. I really wish you the best, stay active on the forums, that helped me a lot. :)
     
    im_alive likes this.
  20. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    This is a great story, I am truly inspired!
     

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