90 Days, Finally

Hros

Hros

Fapstronaut
90 days. 3 months. Three months of a full-on commitment to beat a dark part of me. Three months of ups and downs, of lying in bed and wishing I could claw my insides out (yeah, no other way to describe the feeling), of taking long walks before going to bed, but most of all: Three months of getting to know parts of me that I’ve shut out for years.

I discovered that with the right motivation, I can pick myself up and actually take responsibility for my life. For the first time, I’m not running away or shutting my eyes. I discovered that I can no longer expect my extreme shyness to disappear on its own. Time to get serious on that, too. I discovered that I’m addicted to eating. I can exercise fine, but what’s stopping me losing serious weight is my eating problems. I’ve also still got plenty of urges. Most days, they’re low to medium, and quite manageable. Other days, as I wrote above, I want to tear out my insides. But I keep reminding myself how it’s way more worth it to keep rebooting.

I’ve still got some work to do, it seems.

With that being said, during the last few months, I felt a kind of rebirth:
  • Suddenly I no longer needed physical relief to fall asleep at night – sure, I had sleep problems at the beginning, but those passed with time.
  • Over time, I stopped hating myself whenever I looked in the mirror.
  • I found that it’s not so bad to sit and work/learn in silence, without listening to anything. Same goes for long walks – just me, my thoughts and the cool night air.
  • Wet dreams no longer leave me feeling emotionally and physically drained – and eventually, they lessened.
  • My dreams have become more vivid – one of those dreams inspired me to write a short story.
  • I’ve found myself becoming more serious about my writing – for the first time, I’m thinking hard on the whole process.
  • I’m slowly getting better at maintaining eye contact with other people, in particular, strangers or people I don’t know very well.
I’d like to thank everyone here who supported me during this whole time, and to wish myself and everyone else good luck on the rest of the journey. If anyone wants any advice, feel free to PM me, and I’ll try to help as best as I can.

I’ll end up with an expression that’s been floating around my head for a long time now: Keep Moving Forward.
 
Hros said:
90 days. 3 months. Three months of a full-on commitment to beat a dark part of me. Three months of ups and downs, of lying in bed and wishing I could claw my insides out (yeah, no other way to describe the feeling), of taking long walks before going to bed, but most of all: Three months of getting to know parts of me that I’ve shut out for years.

I discovered that with the right motivation, I can pick myself up and actually take responsibility for my life. For the first time, I’m not running away or shutting my eyes. I discovered that I can no longer expect my extreme shyness to disappear on its own. Time to get serious on that, too. I discovered that I’m addicted to eating. I can exercise fine, but what’s stopping me losing serious weight is my eating problems. I’ve also still got plenty of urges. Most days, they’re low to medium, and quite manageable. Other days, as I wrote above, I want to tear out my insides. But I keep reminding myself how it’s way more worth it to keep rebooting.

I’ve still got some work to do, it seems.

With that being said, during the last few months, I felt a kind of rebirth:
  • Suddenly I no longer needed physical relief to fall asleep at night – sure, I had sleep problems at the beginning, but those passed with time.
  • Over time, I stopped hating myself whenever I looked in the mirror.
  • I found that it’s not so bad to sit and work/learn in silence, without listening to anything. Same goes for long walks – just me, my thoughts and the cool night air.
  • Wet dreams no longer leave me feeling emotionally and physically drained – and eventually, they lessened.
  • My dreams have become more vivid – one of those dreams inspired me to write a short story.
  • I’ve found myself becoming more serious about my writing – for the first time, I’m thinking hard on the whole process.
  • I’m slowly getting better at maintaining eye contact with other people, in particular, strangers or people I don’t know very well.
I’d like to thank everyone here who supported me during this whole time, and to wish myself and everyone else good luck on the rest of the journey. If anyone wants any advice, feel free to PM me, and I’ll try to help as best as I can.

I’ll end up with an expression that’s been floating around my head for a long time now: Keep Moving Forward.
Click to expand...
Congratulations. Difficult but worth it.
 
Hros said:
90 days. 3 months. Three months of a full-on commitment to beat a dark part of me. Three months of ups and downs, of lying in bed and wishing I could claw my insides out (yeah, no other way to describe the feeling), of taking long walks before going to bed, but most of all: Three months of getting to know parts of me that I’ve shut out for years.

I discovered that with the right motivation, I can pick myself up and actually take responsibility for my life. For the first time, I’m not running away or shutting my eyes. I discovered that I can no longer expect my extreme shyness to disappear on its own. Time to get serious on that, too. I discovered that I’m addicted to eating. I can exercise fine, but what’s stopping me losing serious weight is my eating problems. I’ve also still got plenty of urges. Most days, they’re low to medium, and quite manageable. Other days, as I wrote above, I want to tear out my insides. But I keep reminding myself how it’s way more worth it to keep rebooting.

I’ve still got some work to do, it seems.

With that being said, during the last few months, I felt a kind of rebirth:
  • Suddenly I no longer needed physical relief to fall asleep at night – sure, I had sleep problems at the beginning, but those passed with time.
  • Over time, I stopped hating myself whenever I looked in the mirror.
  • I found that it’s not so bad to sit and work/learn in silence, without listening to anything. Same goes for long walks – just me, my thoughts and the cool night air.
  • Wet dreams no longer leave me feeling emotionally and physically drained – and eventually, they lessened.
  • My dreams have become more vivid – one of those dreams inspired me to write a short story.
  • I’ve found myself becoming more serious about my writing – for the first time, I’m thinking hard on the whole process.
  • I’m slowly getting better at maintaining eye contact with other people, in particular, strangers or people I don’t know very well.
I’d like to thank everyone here who supported me during this whole time, and to wish myself and everyone else good luck on the rest of the journey. If anyone wants any advice, feel free to PM me, and I’ll try to help as best as I can.

I’ll end up with an expression that’s been floating around my head for a long time now: Keep Moving Forward.
Click to expand...
A nice post. It really helps.
 
Congrats friend.!!!
it is indeed a great feat that you have fulfilled the challenge.
I am new and would like to meet the challenge of ninety days. Would you give me any advice
 
Xelors said:
Congrats friend.!!!
it is indeed a great feat that you have fulfilled the challenge.
I am new and would like to meet the challenge of ninety days. Would you give me any advice
Click to expand...
Welcome to the site!
A few useful tips to start out:
1. The 10-minute rule - whenever you have urges, instead of telling yourself "No.", tell yourself "Yes- but in 10 minutes." Then, before the time is up, remind yourself how much better your life will be if you don't break, what you'll gain, etc.
2. The 5-seconds rule - whenever you have PMO-related thoughts, you have up to 5 seconds to think of something else. In time, you can lower this to 3 or 2 seconds.
3. Finding new hobbies for all the free time you "suddenly" have.
4. Instead of dealing with negative emotions by PMOing, take a long, refreshing walk and let all of those thoughts sink in, without pushing them away.
 
Congratulations! This is a big achievement! Remember to reward yourself a little (in a positive way of course) :)
 
Hros said:
90 days. 3 months. Three months of a full-on commitment to beat a dark part of me. Three months of ups and downs, of lying in bed and wishing I could claw my insides out (yeah, no other way to describe the feeling), of taking long walks before going to bed, but most of all: Three months of getting to know parts of me that I’ve shut out for years.

I discovered that with the right motivation, I can pick myself up and actually take responsibility for my life. For the first time, I’m not running away or shutting my eyes. I discovered that I can no longer expect my extreme shyness to disappear on its own. Time to get serious on that, too. I discovered that I’m addicted to eating. I can exercise fine, but what’s stopping me losing serious weight is my eating problems. I’ve also still got plenty of urges. Most days, they’re low to medium, and quite manageable. Other days, as I wrote above, I want to tear out my insides. But I keep reminding myself how it’s way more worth it to keep rebooting.

I’ve still got some work to do, it seems.

With that being said, during the last few months, I felt a kind of rebirth:
  • Suddenly I no longer needed physical relief to fall asleep at night – sure, I had sleep problems at the beginning, but those passed with time.
  • Over time, I stopped hating myself whenever I looked in the mirror.
  • I found that it’s not so bad to sit and work/learn in silence, without listening to anything. Same goes for long walks – just me, my thoughts and the cool night air.
  • Wet dreams no longer leave me feeling emotionally and physically drained – and eventually, they lessened.
  • My dreams have become more vivid – one of those dreams inspired me to write a short story.
  • I’ve found myself becoming more serious about my writing – for the first time, I’m thinking hard on the whole process.
  • I’m slowly getting better at maintaining eye contact with other people, in particular, strangers or people I don’t know very well.
I’d like to thank everyone here who supported me during this whole time, and to wish myself and everyone else good luck on the rest of the journey. If anyone wants any advice, feel free to PM me, and I’ll try to help as best as I can.

I’ll end up with an expression that’s been floating around my head for a long time now: Keep Moving Forward.
Click to expand...


Great post, man! Keep it going! Nice expression!
 
Powerous said:
Congrats brother.
90 days is a huge milestone!
I still haven't reached 90days after 10 years of trying.
My highest is around 50 days.

I can't wait to reach 90 days.
Keep Moving Forward!
Click to expand...
DAMN 10 years of trying!!, you sir earned my respect keep moving forward! I really hope one day see you post your own success story!
 
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