90 Days, How to be a better man

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Deleted Account, May 19, 2018.

  1. Hey everyone,

    My story:

    I'll try and keep my story quick and give some advice that is not as often heard for those struggling. I'm 28 and been masterbating and watching porn since I was 18, which is pretty much when I got a computer. I've always been healthy and lean so I was in denial for a while. There was definitely warning signs that it was coming as I used to be able to hold erections for half hour no problem, then I was struggling to hold one for the last year and a bit. Without immediate penetration I was limp in only a minute or two.

    I attributed this to "age" and being married though in February of this year I was having trouble just getting aroused and getting an erection with my wife. Eventually it led me here where I had an epiphany and I gave it a shot half way through February and I am now somewhere around 90 days. I had sex during this time and masterbated a few times though did not look at porn once. It was definitely a struggle and not a walk in the park. I had 2 flatlines with the first being around days 10-20 and the second around days 45-50.

    My advice:

    If you've read the articles on YBOP and other sites you have a decent idea of what caused PIED. It took time to get there and it will take a bit of time to get out of it. If you look at a naked girl during your reboot DON'T WORRY. Honestly just have the goal of avoiding porn and adhere to it and you'll be fine. My advice is more focused around the "healthy" lifestyle as other dudes have more than covered off a lot of other things for recovery.

    1) Clean up your diet immediately: PIED is a big problem however your cardiovascular system supplies blood to your pecker and if your pounding back fast food and crap out of the freezer aisle your making that job a lot harder than it should be. I personally aim towards a more "paleo" style (meat, fish, nuts, veg, avocados) mostly because I'm paranoid about the decline of male testosterone but also because it works for me. Carbs aren't evil just earn them through work. Don't get worked up about whats "best" as frankly were all different, just eat real food and not shit out of a box with ten ingredients where there should be one. Drink water and lots of it.

    2) Exercise: Move every single day, not balls to wall, just moving. You should be training strength whether it's weights or calisthenics, it's not only more bang for your buck fat loss wise but it will increase testosterone and just generally make you a healthier person. Do cardio however don't just run for miles aimlessly unless you actually enjoy it or have a goal, it's not a great form of cardio and your just asking for knee problems years down the road. Sprint, do HIIT, push sled, hill sprint, use erg rowers and air bikes if you can get access to them. If you have the finances try a cross fit gym if you can't sort it out on your own. It's a group atmosphere where you'll learn and be pushed to work hard. Try different things but the biggest thing is get moving, the worst thing you can do is be sedentary. Also take care of your body (nutrition, yoga, mobility work) don't let all your gains go to shit because of an avoidable injury. High recommend everyone look at "Mobility Wod" or any work by Kelly Starett.

    3) Mind work: Find something to take care of your mental health whether thats a therapist, meditation through sitting and breathing, walking in the woods... It's only now getting the respect it deserves however a healthy mind is super important. I personally just like to take the dog on long walks by myself or with my wife where I get the sun, fresh air, and time to think. We all get worked up over things but I find I rationalize and can put things into perspective on these walks. Put down the remote, get off your computer and enjoy nature. Very few doctors will write about it though everyone of them will tell you it's imperative for good health.

    4) Sleep: I left this for last but it's the most important and the most neglected. When was the last time anyone made a good decision tired? If you work on everything I mentioned above you will sleep great which will in-turn improve everything else. You should be militant about your sleep and not letting anyone or anything get in the way of it. By purely getting more sleep and doing nothing else you will likely lose weight, increase testosterone and numerous other benefits. So just do it. Google it if you need more info.

    I come from a military background so forgive my language and demeanour. Honestly the answers are much simpler than what most people think they are and if you follow that advice plus the usual NoFap you will be a better man, a better lover and a better companion. Don't over complicate things, DISCIPLINE is a forgotten value into todays society as there is a pill or an activist everywhere to fix you and tell you nothings your fault and it's someone else. However you feel about that, no doctor or person will ever care more than you about yourself, so take charge of your life and be the best person you can for yourself, your family, your kids and whoever. If anyone is interested in specific resources just message me or reply.
     
  2. Inactive User

    Inactive User Fapstronaut

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    Dude that is awesome and so inspirational. I can't wait to get to 90 days. Keep it up and never go back!
     
    misaal likes this.
  3. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    Great story, thank you as I suffer from ED. The difference is I'm 59-years-old and trust me ED creeps up on us older guys. I'm following all your steps 1-4 and hope that following the 4-steps along with cutting out PMO will help my ED issues. I did go to the Dr. and picked up generic V pills. The pills work great, but I'm hoping for a natural cure and not be dependent on the pills.
    Now I'm off to the gym, I need to keep exercising on a daily basis and that has been a hard habit to implement.
    Good luck.
     
  4. Awesome man, and just to reiterate I'm not trying to sound like a self help book or an "expert". I've read litterly hundreds if not thousands of stories of guys on these sites and I find a lot of guys only quit fapping though continued to find themselves struggling which is where I'm coming from with my advice. My dad is 68 and while I don't know and don't care to know about his love life he started playing slo pitch with some other guys a few years ago and really cleaned up his diet and he stated he's never felt better. So goes to show that while age is definitely a factor it can be mitigated and controlled.

    I'm not against pills, I just think everyones looking for that quick fix. I happened to be married into a family of doctors as well and they say it best, that they are trained in "medicine". You go to a doctor with a problem you should generally expect your going to get a pill. Another tid bit about medicine is it's generally 10-20 years behind a lot of science as their standards are crazy high for peer reviews and studies. Thats not a bad thing obviously though my wife's sister went through medicine 2015 ish and they actually spoke of erectile dysfunction and porn though brushed it off as there was no evidence yet for the theory of quitting porn and to treat it with ED meds, low T or as a cardiovascular issue. So food for thought, obviously there is doctors that are much more on the ball out there but just remember that no one will care as much as you will!
     
  5. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    The best doctor I ever had told me that people think he's great, but 80% of the time the body would have healed itself in about a weeks time without medicine. He said the medicine he gives out helps, but the body would have kicked the problem anyway in time. All that being said, I think to kick PMO a lot of healthy habits need to take place to replace the unhealthy habit of PMO. As far as ED, time will tell if I can cure it once I'm in better physical and mental shape. Until then, I'm happy with my generic V pills they really work.
     

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