90+ days no P&M

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Deleted Account, Mar 19, 2018.

  1. Hello everyone. I've watched my first adult material maybe at the age of 12 and I've consumed that media regularly since then. I'm 24 years old now and I started NoFap maybe something around a year ago, I can't quite remember. I've had a few streaks among the lines of 10~20 days, one of 84 days and my current streak which is 94 days. On all these streaks, I've abstained from porn and masturbation. I've been in a relationship for ~4.5 years. I'd like to reflect on the benefits I've experienced and some of the lessons I've learnt.

    Benefits
    • Enhanced confidence: I've never been a shy person to be honest. Maybe I didn't feel like meeting new people but that wasn't much of an issue either. However, during a strong streak, I feel more honest with myself. Sometimes I feel like politely just speaking the truth, even if it might hurt others or make me unpopular. I feel a stronger connection with myself.
    • Dreams: During a streak, I easily wake up and remember the dreams I had during that night. That is something I had very rarely experienced before NoFap.
    • Emotions: When listening to music I really feel it. I feel power when listening to certain songs. I feel the beat. When watching a sad movie, it touches me. I feel more empathy for myself and others.
    • Attraction: I've caught girls checking me out. I've also made friendships with females. It's not an issue neither is it perverted. It's just having fun and talking

    Habits implemented that help me keep going with NoFap
    • Creating and reviewing a plan: I made a plan which consists of reasons I do this, threats that may make me relapse (e.g. stress, nudity online etc), tools, software and commitments (e.g. OpenDNS, Browsing Mode, Night regulations, Check-Ins, Workload limitation, scheduling, writing a journal, gateways of last resort (e.g. H.A.L.T or a cold shower)). I've also written the consequences of non-compliance. If anyone I'd like me to get into details here, feel free to ask.
    • Connections: I talk with accountability partners on a daily basis. I talk about urges experienced. I talk about new methods implemented or changes on my plan. I think it's very important to stay connected with other people.
    • Workouts: I workout using a push-pull-legs body weight routine. Whenever I feel an urge, a workout makes it vanish. It's also one of my "gateways of last resort".
    • Meditation: I meditate on a weekly basis.
    • Learning a new language: I've kept a learning "streak" along my NoFap streak.
    • Rewards: I use an app called "Incentive" which lets me set goals, tasks and rewards. Each tasks completed gives me points and reaching a goals does so too. I can then "buy" a reward with points. I think this helps me staying focused on healthy habits.
    closing words and look out for the future
    Connections are crucial. People who are connected with others, whether it is via a messaging app, a call or meeting in real life, don't relapse. That's what I'm always working on and hope to keep on doing so. I'd like to keep my focus on healthy habits and connections. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.


    Edit: I managed to get to 150 days and then I relapsed. My mistake was getting to a point where I didn't think "I'll do x or y" but instead I was thinking "I don't want to fap". I let the urges build up, even though I was connected with other people on a daily basis. In other words, I lost my focus for healthy habits and that was the biggest mistake. I hope this helps someone.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 21, 2018
  2. xeon1993

    xeon1993 Fapstronaut

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    I don't believe in that quote that on NoFap girls seeks your attention more and check you out. I think it is more like you get your eyes together, lift them up and see that girls are there and you are not afraid of that because you are deep down not ashamed of you anymore. Imho, even before NoFap there are always girls seeing and watching you, you just don't realize it by having your sight straight down.

    For that emotion, dream and music part I totally agree with you. For me, music sounds vivid and with full spectrum of emotions. Dreams are like alternate reality - so believable and intense. And emotions. Finally I feel empathy for others suffering. I feel alive.

    Respect for your journey. I hope you are doing well. You deserve to be in that way!
     
    Atrium_Guy, Mirach and u376 like this.
  3. I agree. In the past I probably wasn't looking but now I do.

    Nice seeing others experiencing this too. It's like relapses make us "numb" and disconnect us with our feelings. On a streak that connection recovers.

    Thank you. :)
     
    xeon1993 likes this.
  4. Master of chastity

    Master of chastity Fapstronaut

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  5. Music helped me a lot to get over PMO. I from 2000 but i grew up listening to "oldschool", or 20th century hits. In my opinion, the music back then was less enticing than today's or modern music. I prefer to dance to them than sit and think about the lyrics of today songs. Also the music videos today and social media are agents of relapsing. Youtube is the only social media i used everyday(if you are serious get filters). The rest: Instagram- I view this as softcore images and videos barely use it; once every week to check messages, Twitter- harmless; uses this for school work every 4-5 days(this social media is very informative), facebook- lets play scracbble or uno or chess- only use for games that i downloaded so i do not even use the app itself.

    KEEP ON FIGHTIN' THE HARD FIGHT... as one day it may become easy.
     
    xeon1993 likes this.
  6. I've set up rules for social media for the same reasons you mentioned. I don't use YouTube in my free time anymore, only at University. I allow myself Reddit during breaks but only subreddits I've subscribed already. It's important to create a safe environment.
     
    xeon1993 likes this.
  7. xeon1993

    xeon1993 Fapstronaut

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    As soon as I started NoFap I quit using any social media, including news, youtube, etc. (like a once in a few days for max. half an hour).

    Not because I am being constanstly afraid of approaching triggers. I just feel like it is about showing yourself how you treat your given time in others way, therefore changing your habits and mentality.

    Personally, I think if you break this link you associated with PMO idea (ofcourse, except at work condition), you can get much more out of other things - books, educational audio podcasts, for example.

    If you can control time spent of social platform, I see no harm. All personal expierance though.
     
  8. I fully agree. Being productive and implementing healthy habits has helped me a ton. When I started, I focused on what I could do to not get triggered and what I'd do in case a trigger happens. Those things are important still but as I work on my streak, replacing bad habits (e.g. waste time on the web) with better habits seems like a good practice.
     
    xeon1993 likes this.
  9. I relapsed a few days ago and I edited my post.
     
  10. Giortio

    Giortio Fapstronaut

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    Don't give up. nothing good comes easy
     
  11. P-Free

    P-Free Fapstronaut

    @Bashi where did you find the Incentive app? I search the Apple App Store and can’t find it.

    Your journey is amazing and your post is helpful and inspiring! Thank you for sharing!
     
  12. Thanks!

    I don't know if that app is also available on iOS. I use that app on Android. Maybe there's something similar. Try searching for "reward system" or "habit points", something among those lines.
     
    P-Free likes this.
  13. P-Free

    P-Free Fapstronaut

    Your welcome and thank you! :) I keep forgetting that not every app is available on both platforms lol. I'll use the search terms you gave me. Thanks again and keep up the great work! :)
     

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