90 Days of Hard Mode Done - Honest Review

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Relinquished, May 20, 2018.

  1. Relinquished

    Relinquished Fapstronaut

    125
    365
    63
    I have recently passed the 90 days mark. 90 days of hard mode; no porn, no masturbation, no orgasm. That was my first try and I had very difficult moments.
    Yet deeply centered, I managed to find a way every time. Here I will try my best to share with you what I have achieved, some tips which can help you throughout your journey and what not to expect. My approach is kinda different, you'll see a new perspective.

    First off; I must say that for at least 5 years I have no desire for money, character development, power, social influence or daily pleasures. My only ''desire'' is to find truth.
    That meaninglessness and lose of interest in all things boosted the importance of PMO in my life. Because I was lazy and PMO was so easy, that was the only way to keep living with this immense sense of suffering. I have achieved all I wanted for all my life, and never lied about anything. So if I wanted something, there was nothing there to stop me. I used to M twice a day. I was feeling that if my energy level was high, I'll be dangerous. So I constantly deplated my energy by PMO'ing. I always knew that PMO was preventing my spiritual growth, but I wasn't ready to quit it. Therefore I never tried. About 3 months ago I discovered NoFap, and I knew that was the time.
    So I started.

    WHAT HAS CHANGED?

    Sense of Meaninglessness and Emptiness Vanished Completely.

    This was the crescendo of NoFap for me. Before NoFap, every single moment I felt empty. There was no meaning, not at all. Nowhere. Just like ancient Greek Sisyphus, I was kept on going with no purpose at all. I remembered what I've experienced with meditation, but I could not feel it.

    After NoFap, not a single moment I felt empty nor meaningless. My meditative state has come back, I felt it was really easy to slip into meditation. I found meaning everywhere, in every little thing.

    More Sincere with People

    Yes. I was a social person but eventually I got tired of it and become a cold one. After NoFap, every time I smile at people I can feel that my whole body is smiling. I still am not trying to be social, but when I am I can see my same pain inside them. Therefore I become more loving, feeling compassion all the time.

    Willpower Maximized

    After NoFap, I feel like I can do anything. This is the most it can go, my body-mind became so disciplined (not the way of hard discipline but the discipline which comes from inside) that I feel like no urge or desire can take over my will.

    This may be hard to believe for most of you but in the process I quit:

    Alcohol
    Weed
    Cigarettes
    Using a phone
    Using social media
    Eating meat
    Eating any junk food and refined sugar

    Increased Drive

    My drive for life was almost at zero. PMO was the only thing which kept me living. Now I have found purpose (Re-found it).

    Piercing Attention

    My attention is now so sharp, that many people said that I listen so carefully that they feel the need to be picky when they are selecting their words. I hardly get bored, and my attention is hardly getting disturbed.

    Falling in Love...

    For 7 years I could not feel any sparkle of love. After Nofap... After all those years I fall in love. I felt just like a child, innocent. I saw (in myself) the innocence which cannot be defiled. It was just like I could sense a very subtle level of life. I craved for that feeling for years. Yet one has to be careful with it. This is another topic.

    TIPS THAT CAN HELP YOU:


    Start Small

    I started with 7 days challenge. When I finished it I said: ''Fuck, I could do 7 days more and finish the 14 days challenge.'' Then one more week to achieve 21 and so on.
    If we think about this process too much with our mind, it will do nothing but create more doubt and more problems. So start without planning and live with the journey. Do not let the mind interfere with it.

    Beware of ''Chaser Effect''

    You start by seeing something from a movie. Then you seek another types of stuff. Then in a couple of minutes you are searching for porn. This chain grows so subtly, so confidentially that one needs to cut it before it begins.
    Just be aware that chain has started, and cut it with sharp awareness.

    Sharpen Your Awareness

    This is important. These so-called ''urges'' can only emerge when you are not aware of them. So practice meditation, mindfulness. With time you will see that your thoughts which are creating the urges are losing their power. For me it was ''be aware or be horny'' all the time.

    Cold Showers

    The effect of cold showers are immense, especially at the beginning. Whenever you feel your urges are overwhelming you, go take a cold shower. It will make your body to remember its primitive nature, and weaken the effect your corrupted thoughts over your body. It will make your more rooted, more centered. You will become hard to disturb. The energy flow through your genitals will change direction.

    Commitment is Key

    Do remember your drive. I, in my life never broke promises. Not the promises I gave to people but more importantly the ones I gave to myself. Therefore when I started
    this journey, I knew that PMO was not an option. Never. So whatever happens, stay committed to your promise.

    Mind Will Use All of Its Tricks

    By progressing further, your mind will use more tricks to get you PMO'd. Doubt will arise, and you will not find anything valuable to go on. Please be very careful! That doubt could be very very strong, that you can go PMO before realising what happened. Stay centered. See your thoughts, urges. Let them pass by, remember your purpose.

    Be Honest as Fuck

    Know that whenever you lie, whenever you deceive, you are deceiving yourself. There is no one else to deceive. If you see the idea behind this honesty I'm talking about, you will be so united; that your decisions will pierce everything that comes on the way. Accept that these ''urges'' are not separate from yourself, they are only because you make them so. You are the one who is responsable, nothing else. Accept this with your whole being and these so-called ''urges'' will lose all their power to manipulate you.

    Seek Something Greater

    By the very day you started NoFap, seek for something greater. It could be anything, any greater purpose of life. Reproduction is the very first level of expressing energy, it can be transformed on many levels. It could be expressed as creativity, prayer, love, meditation and so on. If you do not open a new gate for this energy to go out, it will eventually come to its usual gate. Which is PMO.
    If you want to keep going with your journey, you must find a better purpose.


    NOTES:

    - Regarding women, I noticed some increase of their interest in me but I was always good with women so I can't say much about that. I had some very clear proposals of having sex, but I gently refused. My purpose was clear.
    - Shit is still there, it won't pass. Only I became way more aware, and cannot be controlled.

    WHAT WILL I DO NOW?

    First of all, I quit porn for good. I will never watch it again, I realised how much its unnatural and how it affects me.
    I'm going to 120 days of hard mode now. After that is complete, I don't think I'll M no more than once in a month. I'm good with this new lifestyle.

    I still have much to tell, but I think this is enough for now. I hope this guide is helpful for you, a lot of you inspired me on this journey. Please ask if you have any questions.

    Stay centered.


    TLDR;

    You can just read the headlines.
     
    Last edited: May 21, 2018
  2. Atrium_Guy

    Atrium_Guy Fapstronaut

    72
    81
    18
    Hey man GREAT post. I have very similar sentiments - although I’m about a month and a half behind you. Awesome advise through and through..... I’ll read this one again ;)
     
  3. Kimpossible9

    Kimpossible9 Fapstronaut

    163
    185
    43
    Thanks man your guide helped a lot
     
  4. aditay

    aditay Fapstronaut

    42
    43
    18
    good bro meditation also helped me alot before i started meditation my urges were very high but now i hardly get any ureges
     
  5. Relinquished

    Relinquished Fapstronaut

    125
    365
    63
    Thank you all for your comments, it was hard for me to put together all this so I'm glad that you find it helpful.

    I too enjoy calling a spade a fucking spade, but I guess it does not matter after all. It is only a side product. What I deeply mean by honesty is being honest with oneself, and seeing that you're responsible for all of your actions. Still, I see your point and I understand.

    Regarding the quote ''I have achieved all I wanted for all my life'', I was raised as a spoiled child and got everything what I wanted. And at my adolescense too. Women, high grades, money, socially loved and accepted, good looking body... It made me realise that tranquility does not come with getting all you wanted. I somehow got thrown out of the wheel. I'm 25 now, I do study and I do work at the same time; but for the sake of anonimity I care not to share. Thank you for the comment!
     
  6. pcmaster

    pcmaster Fapstronaut

    407
    486
    63
    Great changes. Man, gratz !

    I think there is no need to M even once a month. Cause one M can start a chain. How you gonna control that? Chaser effect and all that.

    If you can live without M so easy then you dont need it. If you can get girls easy then there is no need for M. Sex can be healthy. I mean point of no PMO is to make sex healhy again. Really better wait for M naturally until you naturally relapse at some point.
     
  7. Arms.R.heavy

    Arms.R.heavy Fapstronaut

    Why do you always give good advice.
    I too thought that M once a month could spiral out of control, it most likely is just a rationalization a bargaining thought from Porn-Brain.
    But i never reached 90 days so what do i know.
     
    Relinquished, pcmaster and P-Free like this.
  8. Menace

    Menace Fapstronaut

    96
    156
    43
    i also find that 1 M once a month weird. its like you are expectin to reward with urself after been without PMO with 1 M every month. neverthelss, great post and much needed motivation, thanks bro!
     
  9. Betakerotin

    Betakerotin Fapstronaut

    21
    31
    13
    Exercise working for me
     
    Relinquished and P-Free like this.
  10. Italics the Bold

    Italics the Bold Fapstronaut

    18
    27
    13
    I've almost done two years since PMO, and just lately i've started to go down the "chaser" path of doom. Trying to head that off here and now. M has been a kind a of tricky area for me. I started on the once a month concept too, but gradually it became more frequent, particularly as a result of erotic fiction. That's another tricky area for me. There is a great danger in M in front of computer even if it is not visual.
    I have a conflict area in regards to M with no stimulant. Sometimes i really feel like i need the stress release but i'm honestly not up for it o'natural. Obviously that suggests that i just shouldn't bother, but psychologically that almost seems unfair. I mean FFS i have managed to give up porn after all! How far does one have to go? Additionally i don't want to be harassing my wife because that will just lead to more issues. We have a great sex life but it is only once every 10 days or so.
    I haven't seen much on this board about a M life after porn, but it is an area that needs looking at because just saying you wont do it for the rest of your life is almost certainly self deception even if you kick the PMO.
     
  11. All_384

    All_384 Fapstronaut

    169
    160
    43
    Well done to you mate,TOP EFFORT:)
     
    Relinquished and P-Free like this.
  12. That's great keep it up
     
    P-Free and Relinquished like this.
  13. VeganRights

    VeganRights Fapstronaut

    387
    3,036
    123
    Thank you for sharing man, it is very inspiring, great going!!
    It is very recognisable to me, also the part of the wanting to get to know the truth & truths of life.. i know that I have left some falsehoods behind, concepts which in retrospect have bothered me for years. Im on the start to climb the mountain again, but im happy it is going into the right direction again.

    I was crazy addicted to smoking... and nowadays i make a tea out of it (anyone reading, beware of dosages, google it..). I believe that those plants are not bad per se, but the method of ingestion, smoking is the problem. Making tea helpes me tremendously, i dont have the desire of smoking anything at all. Of course there is still this debate whether these plants can be medicinal or is more like a drug, but for me.. i felt like.. why didnt i think of this before? Not suggesting anyone should use anything, even with clean method of ingestion there is still a lot of debate and not really a noncensus about the health effects, but not smoking is a harm reduction for sure i would say, even smoking tea leaves would be poison to the lungs...
    But yeah i feel like nofap and veganism are definitely 2 aspects of the right path.. i'm a vegan for life now, and i want to do nofap for life, but there is still some doubt about that.. will i be able to always do that etc? But planning for this to be life-styles, and enjoying it, feeling privileged to be able to do this and have gotten to know about these things which mainstream society teaches almost nothing about...

    Thanks again for sharing dude, have a very nice day, grtz!!
     
    Relinquished likes this.
  14. Guillermo90

    Guillermo90 New Fapstronaut

    2
    10
    3
    thank you bro, your experience has inspired me!
     
    Relinquished and P-Free like this.
  15. Gripseeker

    Gripseeker Fapstronaut

    174
    1,830
    123
    Congratulations, well done!
    You make many good points, most of which I also have found to be important and led me to reach 60 days yesterday.
    I think the one "honesty" generally deserves more attention.

    Do you remember how it was passing the 60-days mark? Is the 90-days one much different for you? In terms of the benefits you mentioned?
     
    P-Free and Relinquished like this.
  16. Relinquished

    Relinquished Fapstronaut

    125
    365
    63
    Thank you! And congratulations on your 60 days achievement.

    In terms of the benefits I have mentioned in the post, I can't say there is much of a difference between 60 days and 90 days. But, I need to mention something quite more important. As I go challenge by challenge, I stop when I finish one and consider if I should go into another. When I finished 30 days challange, I had a hard time deciding; but when I finished 60 days, I jumped right into 90 days for I was so happy with the results.

    Between days 45 and 70 (approximately) there have been not much of a difference. But around day 70, I had the hardest times of my journey because of the things I experienced in my life. With hard times, comes the urge to PMO. I fought it and when I was over it, I felt way stronger than before; quite more aware. So this is the most important thing I can mention, as one goes through hard times one becomes stronger. And I guess that leveling up never ends. Aside from that, around day 90 I realised that the projection of ourselves who finished the challenge is nothing but a lie, that projection never becomes real. Tomorrow never comes, it is always today. So I started expect less about future (regarding NoFap changes) and focus more on the now, which I'm capable of changing.
     
    P-Free, romlel and Gripseeker like this.
  17. Gripseeker

    Gripseeker Fapstronaut

    174
    1,830
    123
    Yes definitely true. I feel stronger too, since I also have had some very tough, very tempting days in my my 60 days streak. Tough days, through which I never managed to cope during the past 11 years until now!

    It feels good very deep down inside of us, when we succeeded getting through difficulty and hardship. We convince ourselves of our abilitiy in the process. We simply start loving ourselves for it. I know I do now. I'm even smiling while writing this, as I remember a couple of super difficult moments where I got through, something I would have deemed completely impossible before. And even if we would slip after a strong period, the realization that we can actually DO it, ACHIEVE it, still is there, still gives totally invaluable confidence.

    You know, I think exactly the same, but this is a very nice way of putting it!
     
    Relinquished and P-Free like this.
  18. sknnyjns

    sknnyjns Fapstronaut

    150
    324
    63
    Like i was reading my own story! Before nofap i also felt like i had nothing to do anymore, i had seen it all. No desire for anything anymore. And alot of the changes you described i also expierenced. Nice review ! And Good Job on the 90 days. Im glad youre living life again man!
     
    Relinquished, P-Free and VeganRights like this.
  19. mapache

    mapache Fapstronaut

    24
    74
    13
    Man, what an impressive series of life changes you've made. This is truly one of the most inspiring accounts that I've ever read on NoFap!
     
    Relinquished and P-Free like this.
  20. Relinquished

    Relinquished Fapstronaut

    125
    365
    63
    I've been thinking about what you've said. And yes, you are right. Not that it is hard to control M'ing once a month, but the idea of M is unnecessary. I can live without M. About sex, I already had a healty sex life, that was not my reason to start NoFap. Now, since I find the concept of sex without love meaningless; I will not force myself to have sex. But there is no need to M neither, for I have found a deeper meaning in life. Thanks a lot for your advice!
     
    P-Free likes this.

Share This Page