90 Days of Hard Mode - here I am...

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Thistimeitsfinal, May 28, 2019.

  1. Thistimeitsfinal

    Thistimeitsfinal Fapstronaut

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    So here I am about to hit my 90 day goal, I feel really amazed that I have gotten this far. It is largely due to this forum and the advice to go "hard mode" that got me here, as well as all the support and encouragement, and reading about other peoples struggles and successes along the way. A big part was also the advice to give up MO permanently, which is part of my lifelong plan to keep this addiction at bay.
    Now the next challenge is to get back the trust and intimacy from my wife (I have been married for 30 years) and to control PE, something I have battled all my life, and of course the "chaser effect" which for me was always a challenge. Wish me luck on my next step of the journey...
     
  2. Asgardian36

    Asgardian36 Fapstronaut

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    So Happy for you brother!
    Its a great idea to quit MO besides PMO. Because I think our brain has associated MO with PMO for years, it wouldn't be wise to do MO.

    Anyways I wanted to ask you about your top 3 things which have helped you get to 90!!

    thank you in advance! Keep it going, man! 180 days and beyond...
     
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  3. Thistimeitsfinal

    Thistimeitsfinal Fapstronaut

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    Well luckily for me (somewhat anyway) I was at the stage where I had given up P itself about 18 months ago, but was still addicted to MO via the use of PSUBS like searching hot items on Instagram, Facebook and general soft web sites. It was only after reading here on this forum about the MO addiction that I came to realize what I had to do.
    I guess the last straw for me was getting caught viewing such items by my wife (yet again, for probably the 5th time) and this time she gave me back her wedding ring and said this was my last chance to sort myself out or shes gone. Or should I say, I'm gone!
    So that was surely the number one incentive for me. The other things that have helped are keeping fit (I have taken up cycling and ride 10KM every day and do one 40km ride on the weekend), minimizing my use of social media to looking only at friends posts, and NOT seeking out good looking women. Prayer and faith would be up there too.
     
  4. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut
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    Good news! Thanks for sharing.
     
  5. !!!10years!!!?!

    !!!10years!!!?! Fapstronaut

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    you are doing great, keep it up, we need to make our mind to be occupied with the blessing of life,
    10q for sharing such an inspiring stiry
     
  6. monkeyfonics

    monkeyfonics Fapstronaut

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    Great work! I'd stop counting at this point and just take one day a time.
     
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  7. YoungBaller23

    YoungBaller23 Fapstronaut

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  8. Welldone.All the best mate!
     
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  9. hitnmis

    hitnmis Fapstronaut

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    Good luck, keep up the good work
     
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  10. Pham Huy Loc

    Pham Huy Loc New Fapstronaut

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  11. stoneyman22

    stoneyman22 Fapstronaut

    Nice story man, I think it's funny your wife caught you 5 times lol. Can tell you were like "yea honey I'm done with that" and turned around to log on again XD great work getting clean man the addiction is real. It's not just us single guys who get hooked either I guess. Thanks for sharing.
     
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  12. Thistimeitsfinal

    Thistimeitsfinal Fapstronaut

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    Yup before I was married I assumed I would simply "get it" on demand, doesn't quite work that way. But yes the addiction is real for sure!
     
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  13. Asgardian36

    Asgardian36 Fapstronaut

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    yes looks like you were on the edge there....which brought about the need for you to stay sober. Its great that you realized how damaging P subs are.......Great job on cycling and minimizing social media....


    I have know a friend whose marriage has ended....PMO isnt the only cause but I know for sure it played a key role. I wanna see more people beat this addiction and not let it destroy their mariage. Props to you, man! One day a time!!!
     
  14. vad

    vad Fapstronaut

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    Good luck bro! You can do this!
     
  15. shishirwq

    shishirwq Fapstronaut

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    what is your age?
     
  16. Thistimeitsfinal

    Thistimeitsfinal Fapstronaut

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    So as I hit 100 days, I experienced my second wet dream (interestingly the other one was at around 50 days) and it was a strange experience. I was dreaming I was MO and as I hit the O, I was in my dream shattered that I had done this and broken my streak, and then as a I woke up was super happy to realize what had happened. Last time I was totally unaware of the O and only woke up due to the wetness, whereas this time I fully experienced it in my dream kind of waking up during the process. It felt weird, kind of draining, a bit of a chaser effect this morning that I have to fight off.
    As far as intimacy with my wife, still none, just waiting for us both to find the right moment and her to be receptive. I would say I am pretty much ready to try but she is not there yet.
     
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  17. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut
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    100 days is super. Glad it's going well.
     
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  18. Thistimeitsfinal

    Thistimeitsfinal Fapstronaut

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    Hi all, time for an update:
    So it was a few weeks ago that I had a good conversation with my wife, told her that I was ready for intimacy as I had surpassed my hard reboot goal of 90 days. I also stressed to her that she should feel ready in her healing too, and that it should feel right for us both. Well a few weeks passed by, including my birthday, as well as a weekend away camping, both which I assumed would be excellent times to "restart" the intimacy. I was sorely disappointed when both those weekends went by with nothing (and I was determined not to be the one to initiate it) however all the time we spent together was great: feeling close, connected and laughing a lot etc.
    Anyway that was more important to me, and I realized that the intimacy would be there when the time was just right.
    Well I am happy to say it happened last weekend, just once, but heck it was amazing after all this time and so now hopefully we can get on track to connect in all ways. The chaser effect was a bit of a challenge but not as bad as I had thought (not to watch P but just to MO).
    So now I need to adjust my counter to ready "No PM" only, not sure how to go about that without changing my days count?
    To the rest of you, this can be done, and I wish you continued strength and support!
     
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  19. Powerous

    Powerous Fapstronaut

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