90 days P and M free after 9 years of trying to quit!!

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Mkwarrior214, Feb 5, 2021.

  1. Mkwarrior214

    Mkwarrior214 Fapstronaut

    Age : 33
    Years of trying to quit : 9

    After so many years of trying to beat this demon i managed to achieve
    the 90 day milestone.

    I started with P on TV when i was 12 and it really became
    a problem when i got internet in my room at 15.
    My addiction was severe. First i started edging to porn for an hour or 2.
    By 23 i was watching and edging to P for even 12 hours at one point..
    I didn't watch porn every day...it was mostly 2 or 3 times per week, but
    edging for hours and hours changed my brain in the worst possible way!!

    Over the years I became depressed, socially anxious , stressed and i was
    diagnosed with mild depression and anxiety. 9 years ago i found YRBOP and
    decided to quit. I WOULD never expect that it would be so difficult to leave
    P and P fantasy behind and the severity of withdrawal caught me by surprise
    when i first tried to quit.

    Since then ( 9 years ago) i've been in this circle of trying to recover ,relapse and
    withdrawal. I've managed to stay away, anywhere from a week to a maximum
    of 55 days.

    How do i feel now?

    Honestly i think it will take much much longer than 90 days to recover.
    I have lots of ups and downs... days that i feel like shit , insecure , super anxious,
    low mood etc and days or times of a day that i feel confident, raging libido and energetic.

    Some days i feel the brain fog is leaving me completely for 4 or 5 hours and i feel
    this amazing mental clarity, my brain is quiet , i'm super calm and very confident.(that happens once or twice per week for a few hours and its very strong)

    I have morning wood maybe once every 10 days or so. My libido is not amazing
    at the moment, but some rare days i feel it's very strong .

    I still have flashbacks and images in my head every now and then,but it feels a bit
    easier to resist now.. 90 days ago i would just surrender in 2 minutes time and go

    I have sex with my girlfriend (we got in a relationship 6 months ago) about 4-5 times per week, which i'm trying to reduce
    to 2-3 times or lower. Sex is getting a bit better and there is a lot of ups and downs.

    One of the problems i experience recently is specific P flashbacks flooding my head when i have sex and get me out of the moment...This mostly happens when i'm not
    hard enough and it feels like my brain is trying to find the next best thing to get

    What i'm doing to survive the flatlines and withdrawal :
    - Running every other day
    - Calisthenics 4 days per week
    - Cold showers every day
    - Meditation at least 20min every day
    - Keeping a journal
    - Praying

    Thank you everyone for the support !!
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2021
    Ik2, thabo, Alxharper and 13 others like this.
  2. Dogwood

    Dogwood Fapstronaut

    You may want to look into karezza. It's an approach to sex that emphasizes daily affection rather than pursuit of orgasm. That way you get the benefits without so much energy loss. There's also a website called Synergy Explorers that has good info.
    Mkwarrior214 likes this.
  3. Daggertail19

    Daggertail19 Fapstronaut

    Congratulations on such a great milestone. I look up to stories like yours, and know that I can make it. I am confident that this habit will not consume my life anymore, I MO'd the other day which is why my counter is at 0. However, I got to 7 days of no PMO which is huge for me since I never could go even 3 days without MO.

    Good luck brother, you have given me more hope!
    Mkwarrior214 and Take_Action like this.
  4. FrenchOliver

    FrenchOliver Fapstronaut

  5. Tryingto

    Tryingto Fapstronaut

    Congratulations and thanks for sharing this inspiring milestone with us!
    Mkwarrior214 likes this.
  6. quit@porn

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

    congradulations : and keep progressing
    Mkwarrior214 likes this.
  7. Calypsong

    Calypsong Fapstronaut

    Thankyou for sharing your story brother and congratulations on achieving 90 days.
    Mkwarrior214 likes this.
  8. Mkwarrior214

    Mkwarrior214 Fapstronaut

    Thank you very much for your support and know that this is possible. I was hopeless at many points!! I relapsed
    more that a 100 times probably until now. Never give up!!! Porn is so catastrophic in so many different ways to a man's
    mind and soul!! I'm still recovering from it and it will take a long time to build a new self, but every little win like 7 days is a positive step to the right direction.
    Daggertail19 likes this.
  9. Tryingto

    Tryingto Fapstronaut

    Amen to this!
  10. FrenchOliver

    FrenchOliver Fapstronaut

  11. Mkwarrior214

    Mkwarrior214 Fapstronaut

    Thank you everyone
    I'm still struggling with withdrawals (low motivation ,increased anxiety etc) and the last 4-5 days i had some urges in the form of Porn flashbacks, but it's much easier to dismiss them than 3 months ago!
    Tryingto likes this.
  12. TIMMY0110

    TIMMY0110 Fapstronaut

    congrats buddy

    I admire your patience...I have been trying for quit for 4 years now...must admit that repeated failure have taken a huge hit of my self belief.....

    next time I feel low i will remind myself "here is a guy who has been trying for 9 years and still disnot loose hope...stop the self pity and try again."

    May God bless you..Good luck
    Mkwarrior214 likes this.
  13. Mkwarrior214

    Mkwarrior214 Fapstronaut

    Thank you so much! That means a lot to me and is a reminder of how far i have come when i'm feeliing low!
    It's a long process! As someone said before ''you can't go 10 miles deep into the dark forest and walk back in 5''!!
    Tryingto likes this.

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