90 days +

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by monkmode24/7, Jun 18, 2018.

  1. monkmode24/7

    monkmode24/7 Fapstronaut

    Here's what I have done to get 90 days up: ( I have spent 3 years trying to get clean from my pornography/sex addiction).

    - Joined a 12 step program 6 months ago
    - Attend meetings everyday if I can
    - Outreach call to others
    - Work the program
    - Have been to a rehab for 6 weeks
    - Weekly group therapy
    - See a sex addiction therapist each week who specialises in this field
    - Meditate everyday
    - Lie down in a sensory deprivation tank once a week
    - Daily saunas
    - Exercise 3 times a week
    - Try to eat as healthy as I can; sticking to whole foods and removing gluten and dairy.
    - Avoid television and youtube and don't use my laptop/phone at home.
    - Have a dumb phone.
    - Bought books, researched, watched videos on porn addiction and how it works. I have also applied the techniques in the book too.

    Now, this has been a gradual thing but this is what what my lifestyle looks like. Does this mean that my problems have been solved? Fuck no.

    But I will let you know what I went through:
    - Severe cravings
    - Extreme anxiety and social anxiety
    - Aggravated agoraphobia
    - Emotional numbness
    - No pleasure for anything
    - Tenseness in my body and cramps
    - Severe depression, no libido at times
    - Extremely low energy and lethargy
    - Insomnia

    And so much more that I cannot remember. What caught me by surprise was that I had been a compulsive addict for so long that when I abstained from everything, having my emotions - raw emotions - arise took me completely by surprise. First of all at the time I did not have emotions and had not experienced them in a decade. So when they appeared I did not know how to regulate them, what to do etc.

    But over time through hell and high waters I became to understand simple lessons. Like meditating when I am feeling really anxious - take some time aside and take deep breathes. If I am feeling angry I will wait before I take action on it. I will give some time for the anger to subside before I rush in and do something that comes out sideways.

    - Self esteem
    - Self confidence
    - Control over mind
    - Agoraphobia went away largely
    - More pleasure out of life
    - Better communication

    I will say though. 90 days feels very short. I still like I am going through heavy withdrawals and my mood/feelings are fluctuating. "Flatlines" are intense and I haven't really felt full of energy in a while.. Female attraction has definitely improved but I have to go out and meet them. It's really hard to say what's going on but I can say this definitely. I do not feel like I am recovered.

    PS: This is hardmode- No masterbation, ejaculation, porn.

    I did start dating this girl when I got out of rehab but I stopped it because she was a mess and we had sex. Anyway, have a good day.
  2. Everything will be okay. Just be patient. Take your time and be happy with yourself ;)
    monkmode24/7 likes this.
  3. Atrium_Guy

    Atrium_Guy Fapstronaut

    Brother - amazing efforts. Wow - you are an inspiration how MUCH you are doing to tackle this. Make sure to integrate some prayer, surrender and even some relaxation if you are not already. We can't only 'white knuckle' our way through - we need some joy and fun and lightness - and trust that we can experience 'the good' and have it be part of our healing. ROCK ON brother.....
  4. Pyara31

    Pyara31 Fapstronaut

    Stay vigilant and keep moving forward. Congratulations on such a great achievement and now keep striving for more. This is key saying that "you still haven't recovered" because most people think that 90 days is a full reboot and then they go back to old ways, happened with myself too. But don't ever be satisfied and always going for more. Because you can, you will and you MUST!
    monkmode24/7 likes this.
  5. Good for you, you have earned your benefits GREAT JOB
    monkmode24/7 likes this.
  6. GoldenGod15

    GoldenGod15 Fapstronaut

    Congrats man you're discipline is admirable!!

    How helpful were the sensory deprivation tanks? I've been meaning to try one as well
    monkmode24/7 likes this.
  7. monkmode24/7

    monkmode24/7 Fapstronaut

    Amazing. If you want to quit any addiction, explore the mind, over come PTSD and have real time life insights then I suggest trying it. Really is a great tool to overcome anxiety, understand the mind etc ! :)
  8. Warrior xxx :-)

    Warrior xxx :-) Fapstronaut

    Brother we will celebrate when you make a century.
    monkmode24/7 likes this.
  9. Well said, i like that.
    monkmode24/7 likes this.
  10. Casanerd20

    Casanerd20 Fapstronaut

    How are you doing with the agoraphobia/extreme anxiety. I’ve never had issues with these until I stopped. How long did it take for them to go away or decrease ? I’m barely on day 46
    monkmode24/7 likes this.
  11. monkmode24/7

    monkmode24/7 Fapstronaut

    Takes a long time. You could have anxiety from a variety of factors. You have to take into account that pornography severely numbs your pleasure response as much as ice or coccaine. E.g imagine you had 100 dopamine receptors - when your a porn addict and constantly overloading your brain your reducing them down to 20.

    It's serious stuff.

    So if you have been doing it for years especially and with high speed internet porn - expect it to take 3-6 months before your brain starts to return back to normal. Try to avoid massively stimulating things e.g games, youtube, movies, high adrenaline activities or anything where your getting massive excitement. Allow your brain to relax. In the meantime try to outreach to people; call people or talk to someone when your feeling shitty/anxious.

    Adding to that..

    There are some good studies on your brain on porn that show low D2 (dopamine) receptors in mice are associated with lack of motivation, decreased pleasure, increased anxiety (both general and social) and more.

    Excercise also raises these dopamine receptors. Another thing you can do is drink teas e.g green tea, gaba oolong tea, black tea, chamomile etc. These contain amino acids such as L-thianine, gamma-amino-biyurteric acid, tryosine etc.
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2018
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  12. I respect your struggles & efforts to overcome those obstacles in life!! Keep up the discipline, keep going & keep inspiring!! Cheers mate!!
    monkmode24/7 likes this.
  13. Casanerd20

    Casanerd20 Fapstronaut

    Yeah I totally get you on avoiding certain things. I lost interest in watching tv video games and social media. Sometimes I try to force myself out even though it makes me more anxious. Do you recommend doing stuff like that or just let time do the healing ?
    monkmode24/7 likes this.
  14. monkmode24/7

    monkmode24/7 Fapstronaut

    100%. Get out, make friends. Talk to people. Addiction really is an intimacy disorder. You are not relying on other people to regulate your emotions, your using pornography to do it probably because you received messages growing up that you couldn't or you interpreted that you'd best not.

    You want to reverse that. Humans are social beings. For thousands of years we have lived in small communities in close proximity to each other. We are not used to this level of isolation.

    Go out, make friends, have fun, talk to people, talk about your feelings. Find what makes you connected. If there is something that you do or a place that you can go to where you don't feel like using/looking at pornography. Figure out what that is. Get support. I recommend joining a 12 steps - Sex addicts Anonymous group. Find a meeting in your area. There are heaps of guys there struggling with this and you will get access to a program that actually works to counter addiction.

    In my opinion about the social media. It's only good for communication. Setting up events. That's really it. Otherwise it's pointless and your just scrolling through dumb shit. I wouldn't worry about it. T.V and video games too are a complete waste of time. It took me years to get over that stuff and I did it intentionally because if I want to grow and reach my potential I can't afford to be sitting around watching t.v or playing video games. Life is out here.

    From my experience and plenty of others and professionals - its going to get worse before it gets better. If you're feeling unmotivated, depressed and anxious then great! Your doing it! Your going great. It will take a long time. But I guarantee if you try to do this on your own its going to be very difficult and if you are an addict it will be impossible.

    Keep getting yourself to go out. Your doing great ;)

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