91 days hard mode

Great.
Keep going.

 

Did you see any kind of arousing pic or sexual content except porn in 91 day?

 

Well done man! Awesome job.

 

Great job @Hawkeye99 ! We can celebrate our 90-day milestone together!

Indeed it is persistence and discipline - one day at a time.

 

That's inspiring man excellent job,

 

For me there was one situation where I was searching Amazon whether a podcaster (Matt Dobschuetz of Porn Free Radio) ever published a book he has talked about literally for years. So I searched using those terms, "Matt Dobschuetz porn free radio book" and up came some definitely middle-circle images, on Amazon of all places. Like @Hawkeye99 I did not feel anything, it was about 4 weeks into recovery, although I did not really have much of a flatline phase. (Intimacy with my wife resumed around week 3 in recovery.)

And it was only last week while on a long weekend getaway that I had an erotic dream, where I was conscious in my dream I was lapsing back into porn use, while telling myself "I don't care about being sober, I don't care about staying sober, I don't care about my marriage, I don't care about my friends who I am accountable to..." And then when I realized, in my dream, there would be a consequence of trading in my iPHone for a flip-phone (something I've written down in my 30-day plan), I suddenly woke up!

 

I am loving this thread and congratulating everybody in it that's trying their best wtg

 

Please Tell Me Its 101% worth it. Whenever I want to relapse, my mind gives stupid reasons. Although I have read a lot of success stories, I just want to get this more stronger and tell myself whatever I am doing is not a useless thing. Currently on Day 9...

 

Can vs want. The can is in you, so just focus on the want. You have to want this because you already can man, maybe a trick that could work for you is autosuggestion. Just repeat for some time everyday a phrase like: :"i can" or "im always in control" etc

 

How long did your withdrawal symptoms last on these attempts?

 

Yes my prior deterrents were not 'strong enough'; the second 30-day plan was to attend 30 days (one every day) of SAA or PAA online meetings (it sounds like a punishment which it should not be), while the first 30-day plan was going without coffee for a month (now I love coffee but it wasn't all that 'strong').

This weekend I'll be celebrating my third month of being porn- and masturbation-free with Ms. LuckyDog, and will be writing out my fourth 30-day plan. An even stronger consequence for relapsing that I'll consider would be going internet-free, completely, for several weeks (say two weeks). No posting on forums, no reading news, I'll not answer personal email (only make phone calls when needed). That last one is a tough one, but still do-able, hardest would be with immediate family on the 'why are you doing this'. Will have to think about this some more.

For those who come here and ask 'is it worth it?', well becoming PMO-free is connected to a much wider set of emotional and development issues with us who recognize a pornography addiction, thus there is a ton of personal growth (as well as professional growth since your mental focus, as well as time and energy, are freed up that was previously spent on viewing and getting 'high' on porn).

Speaking for myself, in the past three months I've seen remarkable improvements across the board personally and professionally. For example: relationship with the spouse radically improved (she was on the verge of divorce), relationships with family and friends has a new genuine-ness; new interests kindled in reading poetry (that interest was dead since I was a teenager) and making music (that interest was there but now has really taken off). An interest in reading books (I used to read voraciously, and over the past 20 years has died down a lot) has been absolutely brought back from the dead and come back very strong, an interest in several new hobbies is now starting (in particular drawing, which was dead since my mid-20's, and a particular kind of volunteer work). Professionally all I can say is that the past three months I've done more than I have in the past 12 months, and that is before I even read a book called the 12 Week Year that is on my reading list.

 

Well done, keep it up