Hello my fellow warriors!! At last I crossed the 90 days mark. 1st I'd like to give a background on myself. I am 27 right now and I started MO when I was 13 which then became PMO when i was 15. Had been doing it ever since at least once daily, sometimes multiple times in a day. Slowly but surely my life turned into shit. Consistent fatigue throughout the day, PIED, falling grades due to poor concentration and many other ill effects I have experienced it all. I came across this beautiful community in 2018 and since then I had multiple streaks ranging from 1 week to near 3 months but never crossed the 90 day barrier Except for this time. I have noticed many benefits which I'd like to share with you all 1- My erection has improved by a huge margin I won't say its rock solid but its strong 2- return of morning wood and its almost a daily occurance now. During my PMO days i totally forgot its existence. 3- high concentration levels as well as improved memory 4- feel energized throughout the day and able to get things done 5- improved self confidence. I won't say I am cured there's still a long way to go. But just wanted to share with you all that NOFAP really works and it just requires persistence and discipline to live a normal life once again so hang in there, fight the urges and a much better life awaits.
Great job @Hawkeye99 ! We can celebrate our 90-day milestone together! Indeed it is persistence and discipline - one day at a time.
No sexual content or any pic knowingly although I might've seen seen a few pics but at that time i think I was in flatline so I didn't feel anything.
For me there was one situation where I was searching Amazon whether a podcaster (Matt Dobschuetz of Porn Free Radio) ever published a book he has talked about literally for years. So I searched using those terms, "Matt Dobschuetz porn free radio book" and up came some definitely middle-circle images, on Amazon of all places. Like @Hawkeye99 I did not feel anything, it was about 4 weeks into recovery, although I did not really have much of a flatline phase. (Intimacy with my wife resumed around week 3 in recovery.) And it was only last week while on a long weekend getaway that I had an erotic dream, where I was conscious in my dream I was lapsing back into porn use, while telling myself "I don't care about being sober, I don't care about staying sober, I don't care about my marriage, I don't care about my friends who I am accountable to..." And then when I realized, in my dream, there would be a consequence of trading in my iPHone for a flip-phone (something I've written down in my 30-day plan), I suddenly woke up!
That was a close call. I myself had infact a very erotic dream last night where i was having sex but luckily I didn't have any nightfall or anything, woke up pretty scared but since morning i haven't had any urges. Trading of iphone for a flip-phone sounds like a pretty solid deterrent. I am gonna write that down
Please Tell Me Its 101% worth it. Whenever I want to relapse, my mind gives stupid reasons. Although I have read a lot of success stories, I just want to get this more stronger and tell myself whatever I am doing is not a useless thing. Currently on Day 9...
Can vs want. The can is in you, so just focus on the want. You have to want this because you already can man, maybe a trick that could work for you is autosuggestion. Just repeat for some time everyday a phrase like: :"i can" or "im always in control" etc
Believe me its 101% effective and not just hype. If you know you want to stop this self destructing habit then you yourself know in your heart that PMO is harmful and if you don't relapse then your life will surely be better than what it is now. So stay strong and don't give in to urges and once your streak reaches a certain level you'll see the benefits for yourself.
Yes my prior deterrents were not 'strong enough'; the second 30-day plan was to attend 30 days (one every day) of SAA or PAA online meetings (it sounds like a punishment which it should not be), while the first 30-day plan was going without coffee for a month (now I love coffee but it wasn't all that 'strong'). This weekend I'll be celebrating my third month of being porn- and masturbation-free with Ms. LuckyDog, and will be writing out my fourth 30-day plan. An even stronger consequence for relapsing that I'll consider would be going internet-free, completely, for several weeks (say two weeks). No posting on forums, no reading news, I'll not answer personal email (only make phone calls when needed). That last one is a tough one, but still do-able, hardest would be with immediate family on the 'why are you doing this'. Will have to think about this some more. For those who come here and ask 'is it worth it?', well becoming PMO-free is connected to a much wider set of emotional and development issues with us who recognize a pornography addiction, thus there is a ton of personal growth (as well as professional growth since your mental focus, as well as time and energy, are freed up that was previously spent on viewing and getting 'high' on porn). Speaking for myself, in the past three months I've seen remarkable improvements across the board personally and professionally. For example: relationship with the spouse radically improved (she was on the verge of divorce), relationships with family and friends has a new genuine-ness; new interests kindled in reading poetry (that interest was dead since I was a teenager) and making music (that interest was there but now has really taken off). An interest in reading books (I used to read voraciously, and over the past 20 years has died down a lot) has been absolutely brought back from the dead and come back very strong, an interest in several new hobbies is now starting (in particular drawing, which was dead since my mid-20's, and a particular kind of volunteer work). Professionally all I can say is that the past three months I've done more than I have in the past 12 months, and that is before I even read a book called the 12 Week Year that is on my reading list.
I can't say that my withdrawal symptoms are all totally gone now somedays I still feel foggy brain and lesser intent to get things done but for the most part the major problems like lack of concentration, depression, fatigue,etc started to fade away after 40 days but it was only when i wnt past 70 days that I felt the explosive energy and the morning wood also returned just recently.
Man quitting internet is tough but whatever makes you to continue the streak works fine. To me coming this far is a deterrent enough that if I relapse now all those 90+ days will be for nothing and I'll have to restart my counter from 0 nothing pales to that feeling of starting from 0. Besides I plan to make NOFAP as a lifestyle thing where my innate self knows not to do it without me forcing it upon myself through strict rules. So far it has worked and I hope it continues.
