A catch 22.. My story, hoping to get advice

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by mikejoint10, Sep 1, 2019.

  1. mikejoint10

    mikejoint10 New Fapstronaut

    I´m a 23 y/o guy, and have been doing PMO since i was about 12-13 probably.
    Used to do it at least once a day until early 2019.
    This is a long story but i need advice and have questions so im going to try and keep the story short.

    Pretty much:
    Dating a sweet girl in march. Had sex, great first time, then second time lost boner after a while. Third time couldnt get it up.
    On the fourth i couldnt get it up, and it was over after that.
    Depressed, stayed away from sex and dating all together for 5 months.
    This summer stumble over NoFap. Been trying to stay away from PMO. Longest streak is 11 days.
    Plan to leave the country for a year, to work in a project i started.
    2 weeks before that i meet the girl of my dreams.
    50/50 wether i get hard or not. We have a lot of sex in those 14 days, but needed 2-3 tries before actually getting hard.
    Tell her about NoFap, and Porn Addiction. She understands and is totally cool with it.
    For two weeks 50/50 if i get hard.

    Now, im going to be away from her for 4 months until i visit home.
    I´ve read about doing a reboot of 90 days, and i´m super motivated.
    Only problem is: We´re kinda trying a long-distance thing for these 4 months, and that sometimes includes masturbating/sexting over snapchat, facetime etc.
    Once i left there was talk of just trying to forget we ever met, and the whole thing was fragile. Now we´re getting some rhythm going, and the kinky part is a big help to that so i dont want to lose her, but I also need to do a reboot while im away.

    Summarized: I want to do a reboot to be ready when i get back home, but if i dont keep the flame going there might not be anything to return home to.
    Any advice here? Is it possible to do a reboot while still masturbating to her pics/dirtytalk like once a week, or will that destroy the whole process?
    I want to do a complete reboot so that i am "fixed" when i get back home to her.

    Any advice, similar experiences is soooo welcome here guys, and if anyone needs any advice or simply want to talk, i´d be happy to return the favor.

    Lastly i want to say to all of you that i seriously love this community, and how it has given me a new outlook on life.
    It is a steep hill, but one i am determined to ascend!
    Starseeker likes this.
  2. Starseeker

    Starseeker Fapstronaut

    cold turkey for a few months might be the faster way, but if its a situation like this where you you're only sexting to your one girl and it's something like once a week then I'm sure you'll recover regardless (albeit a bit slower).
    I once read that the biggest contributor to the erectile problem is porn and not exactly the fapping so as long as you stay away from porn and only keep it between you and your girl and limit it to once a week I think you'll be fine.
  3. Lakeside

    Lakeside Fapstronaut

    I would think hard about whether you actually need to be masturbating and doing "pics/dirtytalk" to maintain your relationship. And if the answer is genuinely yes, then I would think hard about what that says about this relationship.
    I understand that long distance can be hard. I'm currently long distance with my girlfriend, and it can really really suck.
    But honestly, I'd strongly recommend that you don't use these harmful sexual activities to try and stay close; instead, why don't you focus on improving conversation and understanding between the two of you while you're free from the distraction of each other's physical presence?
    Kizd4AFool likes this.
  4. mikejoint10

    mikejoint10 New Fapstronaut

    its not something that we NEED to do, its just something that helps the fact that we miss each other a lot. Have great conversations and as im saying, its only like once a week, other than that we talk everyday.
    She´s pretty kinky and thats one of the things i like about her, i just want to know how much it will slow down the reboot masturbating to the idea of her/ her pics once a week.

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