After listening to some podcast episodes on Friday and a ton of support from this forum, Friday evening was actually pretty positive. My husband has been opening up a little more each day this week, including getting his NoFap profile up and running and trying to check in with the Feelings Wheel to become more aware of his emotions. We watched tv together and ended up talking until very late. After the immense help that the Q&A for partners of addicts by Dr Rob Weiss was, I’ve been reading his website www.sexandrelationshiphealing.com and saw that he and his team offers a number of free interactive webinars on sex addiction. Some for partners, some for addicts and some for couples. This week, Wednesday evening after our friends had gone home after the game, there was a partner support group webinar. I was feeling so anxious and out of it that evening, but I really wanted to see if it would help me so I grabbed my computer and joined the meeting. Unfortunately my anxiety at seeing actual real people on the screen made me freak out and close the meeting...I just didn’t feel ready, it all felt too much, nothing super logical but I just wasn’t in a good emotional place. So Friday night, I decided to check while sat on the sofa with my husband for other webinars coming up during the week that we might want to watch together, and it just so happened that there was another webinar Q&A for partners starting in 10 minutes time. I was about to say no and close my laptop again, but my husband was really supportive and said that it was worth a watch even if I didn’t want to join in the Q&A part. I watched it, I got to have both of my questions answered by a professional therapist and hear her give loads of advice to other women in the chat, and I was crying with relief at the feeling of being heard and validated and seeing a way forward. I’ve never been to therapy for myself, and the time I went with my husband to an addiction therapist, I was actually asked to leave so that she could talk to my husband without me there which was very disheartening. I’m actually excited now for the next webinar, I’m going to try and join the partner support group on Wednesdays and I even heard back from an English-speaking therapist here in Stuttgart the next morning to confirm an appointment. Saturday was spent buying some colourful plants for our apartment, making a food plan for the week together and evening heading down to a music festival for the evening. I did feel a little awkward and anxious at the music festival, especially with so many people and still a bit worried that my husband’s mood can be unpredictable, but in the end it was nice to be out of the house and I hope he had a nice time. I feel...cautiously optimistic? I think? Frustrated still at lots of things, and still underneath I feel sad from things that have happened, but on a more day-to-day scale of emotions today feels hopeful and peaceful.