A degenerate fall into sexual deviancy

Andrew Reagan

Andrew Reagan

New Fapstronaut
Hello, my name is Andrew I'm 24 years old and from Manchester. When I was about 18-19 I was introduced to the Furry fandom, a community fascinated with anthropomorphic animals. Although mainly built on art, music and shared experiences; the sub-culture has sexualised overtones and produces vast amounts of pornography. I found myself getting involved quite deeply with erotic roleplaying and spent hours each night browsing the many archives of furry pornography.

Many would consider what I have already said quite extreme sexual deviancy on the verge of bestiality, however it was about to get much worse. So far my interests had not been affecting my mental health, but when my fetishes became more severe I became depressed very quickly and socially anxious. I'm not only addicted to pornography, but more a need to find the sickest most degenerate fetish to masturbate to next. When domination didn't turn me on anymore I went to BDSM and then to misogyny porn and finally snuff material. I only started to think there was maybe something wrong with me when I started getting involved with figures in the Community like Foxler Nightfire and started masturbating to furries dressed in nazi uniforms.

This morning a friend on skype linked me to this website. Although I honestly don't have enough faith in myself to be able to quit I'm willing to give it a try. I'm remorseful of my past behaviour and I hope I can be accepted into this community as an open minded individual.

Thanks.
 
Hi @Andrew Reagan
I am glad you are here. And very welcome to join us in our journey to a healthy, fulfilling life without any self harming habits.

It's a safe place here. We all are in the same boat, so there is no single space for judgement here.
Maybe it's a good idea to keep a journal. Sharing your struggles, thoughts and feelings may help you to understand the underlying issues.

Keep coming back and get the most effort out of nofap!
You don't need to do it alone!

I wish you lots of luck!
 
I love the furry fandom myself but Anthrocon is where I started to get into gay yiff, sex, and drugs. Personally I do have a mental disorder but my psychologist says the fandom is helping me cope. Im easily manipulated by the fandom an it's individuals. Its not hard to get me to try drugs(peer pressure). I personally still dress up in a fox fursuit and go to conventions. I do the fursuiting for the attention and hugs. At this point I've been doing ok with avoiding the drugs, still working on the gay yiff addiction. This may not be helpful but I'm trying to make the fandom work safely, while maintaining my fantasy.
 
Roady said:
Hi @Andrew Reagan
I am glad you are here. And very welcome to join us in our journey to a healthy, fulfilling life without any self harming habits.

It's a safe place here. We all are in the same boat, so there is no single space for judgement here.
Maybe it's a good idea to keep a journal. Sharing your struggles, thoughts and feelings may help you to understand the underlying issues.

Keep coming back and get the most effort out of nofap!
You don't need to do it alone!

I wish you lots of luck!
Click to expand...

Thanks! Feels like a welcoming place. I’m not sure what exactly I would write in a journal. I’m probably not going to make it to the end of the week because I usually give in to my impulses every day so there’s not much point.
 
MerseyPhoenix said:
Dude, you're amongst friends here. I'm local to Manchester too. Nothing you've done in your head should cause you shame, but if you want to change, here is the place to do it.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the warm welcome. I do want to change, it’s harmful and making me depressed. A monumentous task to overcome however because I am a very impulsive person.
 
Cody wolfgang said:
I love the furry fandom myself but Anthrocon is where I started to get into gay yiff, sex, and drugs. Personally I do have a mental disorder but my psychologist says the fandom is helping me cope. Im easily manipulated by the fandom an it's individuals. Its not hard to get me to try drugs(peer pressure). I personally still dress up in a fox fursuit and go to conventions. I do the fursuiting for the attention and hugs. At this point I've been doing ok with avoiding the drugs, still working on the gay yiff addiction. This may not be helpful but I'm trying to make the fandom work safely, while maintaining my fantasy.
Click to expand...

I got into drugs through the fandom also, though nothing serious. Mainly cannabis and legal highs. That’s a whole other problem though, I’d rather just focus on my sex addiction here.

I own a fursuit also, but I should really get rid of it because it only fuels my addiction.
 
@Andrew Reagan
It's gonna be tough. The deeper you are into this shit, the tougher it is. But it's possible. I'm guilty of indulging in sick and degenerate stuff too, so I do understand where you're coming from. The road is tough but it's worth travelling. And it might not be as long a journey as you think. The first step is the toughest. Then it gets easier to keep marching onwards. I, personally, find it hard to believe the progress I've made since I started. It's been mere months but it feels like it's been years.
My advice is keep at it, have faith in the process, and trust in your own capacity to improve. You have your whole life ahead of you, but it is not infinite, use your years on this earth well.
 
Andrew Reagan said:
[...] but more a need to find the sickest most degenerate fetish to masturbate to next.
Click to expand...

You're not alone, at all. I've been within degenerate fetish porn for years and I know the mess of attaction and disgust feelings at the same time.

You remebered me my therapist say: "You're not what you do in your bathroom." She also said "You don't have to do something you do not want to." I thought they were oversimplified replies to my questions; but this hard path you're about to start is all about understanding this answers can drive you to freedom.
 
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Andrew Reagan said:
I got into drugs through the fandom also, though nothing serious. Mainly cannabis and legal highs. That’s a whole other problem though, I’d rather just focus on my sex addiction here.

I own a fursuit also, but I should really get rid of it because it only fuels my addiction.
Click to expand...
Oh, I currently live in the UK(London). We probably met at one of the UK Fur conventions, as a matter of fact I remember talking to a guy with the name Andrew. If you ever decide to go to any conventions again, maybe we could get together and help each other overcome these fetishes/addictions. It's really neat talking to people with similar issues, so I can adjust my life for the better! I must get back to work, got accounts to audit. Good luck!!!!
 
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