a fapper, a sad fapper!

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by deadrole7, Sep 5, 2015.

  1. deadrole7

    deadrole7 Fapstronaut

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    hi guys
    I remember fapping being a part of my life just about in any important & unimportant day!
    I was a zombie (and i still am) a walking zombie desperately crawling his way out of the pit but falling back to it again and again.I used to be a heavy smoker but i managed to quit cold turkey.Well it did make a difference but still i have this addiction dragging me and all my hopes through the mud.I feel like a slave & have near-to-constant anxiety.I am not sure about it's type, but i can describe it as a feeling of disgust and dread going in my chest all the time...which has caused me to isolate myself from my former social life.The feeling of pain never seems to end, and for some strange reason i think a big part of it is related to fapping...because i remember days in which i used to abstain for some days and get better, but then again relapse and have it all back :(
    besides all this i feel like this is affecting my brain functioning too.i have trouble recalling memories and they get more blurry day by day.i don't know, i just feel like a retard each time after jerking off, everything seems so blunt and hard to comprehend, which appears to get better even after one day of abstinence...
    But i hope i can overcome this with your help and support and start feeling like a normal human being with a well-functioning brain !
     
  2. jasonofap

    jasonofap Fapstronaut

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    Hey buddy,

    I hear ya. I felt the same way for a long time and then I realised that the body will give me pleasure naturally. It comes with a little time off the fapping. You have to believe something more exciting is going to happen without the fapping and it will come. For me, it's been seeing women, not just the specific features on a girl I like, but having a sexual desire for a wider range of women. Can you imagine seeing hundreds of women in a day that make you feel something inside? This comes with patience. Wait for your body to leave porn and fapping and begin to desire what nature has given us.

    J
     
    deadrole7 likes this.
  3. deadrole7

    deadrole7 Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate it mate...I'm really looking forward to the benefits, & I'm sure about the excitement part, because I remember feeling exhilirated in some rare periods of my abstinence in the past, I want to prolong it!
     
  4. jasonofap

    jasonofap Fapstronaut

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    I'm also relatively new to this and I've been struggling like you, again and again to remind myself it's not me, or my brain, or anything other than nature figuring things out. It's hard though. My added issue is my part is longer than average so it frequently gets stimulated because now it is very sensitive. That feeling of disgust and dread is really anticipation and excitement. Although I too am concerned about feeling dull after jerking off, I get how you feel. Just reset and start again and the body will figure itself out. I get that feeling whenever my part seeps out semen unintentionally and I feel like I've lost the game.
     

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