Hi guys and fellow girls! I have been reading on this forum for a while now but still can't really find any threads that relates to a problem I'm trying to get more info about. My boyfriend was the one that one day told me that he has an unhealthy relationship to PMO so I have spent hours, days, weeks and months trying to find information on how I can help him with this. We have done a lot of changes and are really doing progress, I am very open to do whatever I can to help and has told him lets have fun while doing it. Not until recently I asked him more deeply about the addiction and he explained that he has no urges for P or M, but has used the O as a tool. It has been the answer to a lot in his everyday life, like going to sleep when he is not tired. To kill time before or after work. To make him stop thinking about something that has come up. He tells me that he gets a lot of guilt and feeling of unfulfillment but he still needs to O in order to....[fill in the gap]... It is obviously set in his system, I understand that. Sometimes when he can't sleep he will go up and eat but he would rather MO because it is no effort and is quick, but still he realy really wants to stop this. I have been there to give him oral release at any time of the day but he tells me we need to stop because he is getting more satisfaction than I am, and I can understand that but I really want to help him at the time he need it. Anyway, I'm so sorry for the wall of text but I really need your help. Is there a different name or search term I can use to find out more about this specific problems about using PMO only as a tool to calm down? The P is no enjoyment for him at all, only what he feels after or that he can "function" better. Thank you for reading <3
@Yes Master another female fapstronaut in the house to help you babe. I've been at the receiving end of a PMO addiction of my husband, but ironically now. First question: -is he on this site as well? Maybe you guys can share this together. Comments: -you might be "normalising" his addiction by constantly being there to help him O. Sex shouldn't be about O, that's merely incidental. It's the best when you want to be with someone that you love, trust and respect and ultimately want to feel intense pleasure with. Sounds like he cares about your lack of involvement in your physical relationship. It's good he's been honest about his issue, and it's good that you didn't sound liked you judged him, and instead you are coming here to find methods for helping. I'm in a similar situation TBH. There is some excellent people here that I'm sure will read your post and respond with the male perspective as well. Kind Regards.
This site might be a good source for most questions. https://yourbrainonporn.com/ It's pretty much scientific explanation for why and what pmo does what it does. It might have some info on how to combat the negative effects.
Thank you for your reply and insight in this! He is not on this site but he know I am and I have brought a lot of info from here to him. Yes, I have been kinda normalizing the problem because he is saying so himself. I'm a natural sub and giver so to give him what he desires or need is like breathing to me. Luckily he has, just like me, a very open mind and we can sometimes talk 2 hours each night about this, just ventilate and come up with some ideas to try. Thank you! I have read a lot from that site, but what is interesting to me is to read the words from the people living it. Maybe there is someone here that see what I mean and can relate In the mean time I will keep reading post after post to learn more about the bigger issue. Thank you <3
