A guy with social anxiety.

Hello,Flymann!
I think we are on the same boat. We might be able to help eachothe. Leave a message.

 

I'd feel like superman if I had a streak as long as yours.....

 

don't ejaculate, even in dreams, observe your inner lust instead of expressing it or repressing it, stop the drugs, start juicing celery, etc..... porn harms the retina

 

I can relate, my anxiety, is different, I can look ppl in the eyes, have conversations but its fake, but thats because Im around fake people and idk who I can trust. I suggest you start writing, down your emotion, how you feel, what you want to accomplish. Do this daily, it helps. I bee akward af too most of the time but i use that as an advantage, you can weed out the snakes in the grass.

 

Twenty two year old me can relate. At that point my handful of old friends were moving further away with their lives. I didn't go back to school until I was about twenty five. It was a big shock getting myself out there.

I can say you have an advantage over me as you have this forum to help sort out your porn issue. Back then I kept it all in until I eventually crashed. My mind was too focused on sex and "girlfriend". Use this place as a support as it'll help keep the porn nonsense from spilling out there.

To socialize I recommend keeping it simple for now. Seek out social situations, say hi to people and look them in the eye. Smile. Right now that is all you need to do.

People includes women.

It's wise to remember that all those people out there we may feel inferior too are still people sorting out their own lives.

 

Since we are on this board, let's talk about energy.
To interact with women, at least you have to be on the same wavelength. They are very sensitive on stuff like that.
If you never leap, you never will get there. Don't disconnect with the world for too long.

I recommend going to talk to some people. There is scientific research on how people's wavelength calibrate to each other once they start talking.
Sure it will feel awkward if you approach them wanting to get them in bed or anything.

Simply talk. The first hundred talk will probably feel bland.
I have done stuff like:
- Go to starbucks, ask the barista some questions. Ask for free coffee waste, tell them why you want them.
- Go to a store with good service and sales girls, tell them the type of clothes you want and ask for recommendation.
Afterwhile you may be asking questions about their own preference or interests.

After hundreds of talks like that you will gain that wave length, other interactions with women (say personal questions/touching) will start to feel normal.
They will also initiate, because they are social animals.

Nowadays if my elbow slightly bump into some girls I walk across, they are very neutral, some may even return a smile.

 

https://www.youtube.com/c/SocialAnimal

Check out some of these videos to help to deal with your approach anxiety! They inspirational to me cause it shows that a lot of people have the same fears and anxieties and that most people at one point felt the same way you do.


Here's a good video

 

Hey man I know you don't mean anything by it, but please be careful with videos you post. That image may be very triggering to some people here. Just post the link without the thumbnail please

 

Yeah I was thinking that after I posted it. I changed it to one less triggering lol

 

I can copy and paste this message for myself as well. Also a 22 y/o introvert with a few friends and the same struggles.

 

I went to two events recently. There will be a few kind faces in the indifferent crowd, but I would not have met those kind people had I not attended. The people who are not curious or who do not care are not for us. No sense in engaging with people who do not engage with you. Reciprocity and curiosity are the hallmarks of genuine conversation and exchange.

Showing up is the easy part. I was invited to the second event by someone I met at the first event; this is one natural way to start meeting more new people. After getting comfortable in new settings, you may find yourself gravitating towards different events instead of the same events you already like. You might go to places you never thought of visiting before, just for yourself.

I am still introverted, at least 70%, and the rest I have to get acclimated to, but there is nothing wrong with that. At the last event, there was a speaker who resonated with me when he said, "Never be afraid to be yourself." Your introversion is not a problem, it is a pivot, a powerhouse, to a noisy world that often demands noise in return (watch and read Susan Cain's work on introverts). Besides, you have to go within to be aware of who you are and what makes you awesome before you go without.

With this knowledge, you will not be insecure or unsure of yourself. I learned this from David Goggins, which he called a "cookie jar of wins." Knowing your achievements builds your security and confidence, and no one can take that away from you. He also emphasizes gratitude over pessimism; meditating on what you are grateful for releases negativity and reserves positivity.

As an introvert, working alone can be empowering as it allows you to be proud of your work and practice self-care, which is not selfish. It also stops you from comparing yourself to others. Your actions, especially as an introvert, exude a silent confidence, slow but steady. Actions that show who you are and your ambition to be and do more at your own pace.

Do I fumble my words from time to time? Yes, but at least I do not put my foot in my mouth.
Do I get lost in my thoughts more often than not? Yes, but I measure my words carefully.
Do I wish I was the center of attention without being the center of attention? Yes, but life is not always a party.
Would I have it any other way? No, because I would not be true.

Stand true to you, walk and talk true to you. The right people will show and stay in your life. Improve yourself and your life for the better.

 

Take small steps, when you go out give yourself a small challenge for example one challenge can be making eye contact and smiling at 5 people that you walk past and once you complete that challenge maybe trying making eye contact and smiling and also saying "Hello" to 5 people you walk past then after you complete that challenge then make it a goal to ask cashiers at the stores you go to "How's your day going" Don't expect yourself to become to become an extremly charasmatic extrovert over night, give your self small challenges/goals that you can achieve.