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A honest 30 day report

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by SyrusDrake, Nov 27, 2016.

  1. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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    An important scientific principle is that you publish/process all experimental data, regardless whether it supports your theory or not. If you browse reddit, and to a lesser extent this forum, you get the impression that not touching your dick for a few days will make you an Adonis who has to wade through torrents of chicks every day on his way to the United Nations building, where he was elected Supreme Leader of the Free World.
    I don't want to doubt success stories by fellow Fapstronauts. Maybe one of them really was elected Supreme Leader, I don't keep up with the news.
    But I'm convinced that there is a quiet minority who does not experience such otherworldly benefits and, like me, gets discouraged and thinks they're doing something wrong. Whether I'm doing something wrong I don't know. But I want to tell my story so far anyway because I'm sure there are guys out there who don't experience such crass improvements either. So here goes...it's not a conventional success story but it's an honest one. If you want to know my backstory that led me to noFap, check out the first entry in my journal.

    It has now been 30 days since I last watched porn, masturbated or orgasmed. The first two weeks were pretty neat. Day by day, my mood improved and there were days where I couldn't help but smile almost constantly. And while I am not sure my confidence improved, I felt less...inferior to random people. I often thought something like "Hey, look at him, I bet he couldn't go a week without porn." What I definitely noticed was that I felt less lethargic. I don't think I had more energy but I felt like I could "tunnel" out of my lethargic potential well to a state where I was actually doing something.
    I still had ups and downs and my doubts whether it was worth it but overall, had quite a good time.
    Then on the Thursday right before hitting two weeks (I started on a Friday), my mood started to crumble and completely crashed the next day and hasn't really recovered since. I again feel depressed, anxious and full of self-doubt. During the past days, my daemon was constantly talking to me again. "You think you did well at this? Well, your crush's new BF is surely much better at this and everything than you." Just to name an example. Most of my energy seems gone too. I usually can't seem to "start" my brain to do anything. As for female attention...well, I don't know. I still look down when crossing paths with a girl (though it's now more a conscious effort rather than a reflex) but I'm pretty sure I still get ignored, as always.
    As for improved posture or deeper voice or increased growth of facial hair or all that bobbins...well, I don't even know how any of this is related to dopamine circuits. So...no.

    What else but noFap did I change about my life?
    Well, most importantly, a few days in, I started meditating. 2x5mins a day. Just sit here, focus on your breath and when a though enters your mind, acknowledge it and let it pass. I have to say, that has helped me tremendously especially when my daemon whispers to me. Those thoughts of eternal loneliness and broken hearts still hurt but they don't cause me to spiral into despair anymore.
    I also started going to the gym again but I only had my first session last Thursday.

    So are there no good news, no benefits at all? No motivational pieces of advice I can give to newcomers? Yes. Yes they are. They're just not as amazing as the success stories that other people might experience after just a few days.
    First and foremost: I don't really think of porn anymore. I noticed that it was more something I did compulsively whenever I was feeling bored, lonely and/or home alone. I didn't really do it because it was fun. As for masturbation, well, that's on my mind a bit more often. But I just think of something else then. I've never really had unbearable urges so far.
    Another minor benefit is that I feel a lot "cleaner". There aren't tons of "used" tissues in my bin anymore, I don't have to worry about what I enter into my browser's address bar when someone's watching and so on. And that alone gives a little confidence boost.
    The only commonly observed benefit I can agree on seems to be: Music sounds a lot better and more exciting. You read that a lot and I can confirm it but not explain it. It's just true...

    So what should you take away from all this if you're in a similar situation like me? That noFap isn't worth it? No, I don't think that's the case.
    But what you should do is visit "Your Brain on Porn" and read/watch as much of their material as you can. Because it makes you understand the hard science behind this and tells you what you can and can't realistically expect. The gist is: By binging on high-speed internet porn, your damage your reward circuit in your brain. Fixing that can help with a lot of mental problems but takes a lot of time.
    What I recommend you shouldn't do is go to reddit and take those success stories as a benchmark. r/noFap isn't bad per se but it's a breeding ground of mindblowing amounts of bro-science, quackery and just flat-out misinformation.

    So yea, I hope this has resonated with some people at least. If your journey seems slow compared to those demi-gods you read of constantly, be assured that you're not alone. I wish I could be more motivating but in this case, I think honesty is to be preferred over fairy tales.
     
  2. Soadbk

    Soadbk New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for this. I have only just started my journey as a P but will go to PM I think. I meditate alot for other anxiety issues but recently decided to learn to swim at 35 years old. This has helped my confidence alot. I use a book called mindfulness and an app call headspace for meditation which might help you further. I appreciate your honesty and it will help me not to be too expectant.

    Regards
     
    waterworld, jonny94 and SyrusDrake like this.
  3. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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    That's great. My mom learned to swim when she was about 50 ^^

    Keep in mind, I'm not saying you shouldn't expect any improvements. But I don't want people to be discouraged if it doesn't happen overnight. It will take a lot of time but that's okay.
     
  4. Soadbk

    Soadbk New Fapstronaut

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    I am a perfectionist so ill give up really easily or go the whole hog so to speak. I have to remember that "rome wasn't built in a day" and it's okay to make mistakes. I am also dieting but because of a lousy cold Ive stopped for a couple of days to recoup and normally id beat myself up about it but not this time. I hope I can apply the same thinking process to this too. thanks again
     
    SyrusDrake likes this.
  5. Attaboy

    Attaboy Guest

    I think it's about avoiding extremes. Will not touching your dick give you superpowers? No. That thinking is still someone living in fantasy. Will not PMO'ing help you improve your quality of life? Yes, I think it will therefore it's worth doing NoFap.
     
    Sailor93 likes this.
  6. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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    Yes, but even that only happens over many, many weeks, I think.
     
  7. WeCanChange

    WeCanChange Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, I'm now in 2 weeks and this now it's very much hard.
     
    jonny94 likes this.
  8. Attaboy

    Attaboy Guest

    @SyrusDrake: I don't disagree with that at all. I've spent a long time being addicted, and it just seems ridiculous to think that's going to be undone after 90 days, 100 days, or even for the next couple of years. Plus I think I need to accept that improvements do not always come with loud trumpets and shouts. A lot of them are small and ordinary things which are subtle and get lost in the obscurity of life. At the same time I think I need to remind myself that every day spent where I'm in control of my urges and not having them control me, is an improvement in my quality of life.
     
    Walnut, GradBeo and SyrusDrake like this.
  9. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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    Yea...and that's why I like this forum because most people here seem to accept that. On Reddit, you can't walk two steps without stumbling upon a post that goes like "OMG, I did noFap for seven days and now I have chesthair and every girl I meet wants to fuck me and I was promoted to the CEO of my company and my dead dog came back to life!"
     
    Attaboy likes this.
  10. Attaboy

    Attaboy Guest

    Pretty much the reason for why I stay away from r/NoFap. Anyway, I appreciate your share. Maybe more so today cause I was in the mood to read something which didn't sound like a gimmick.
     
    SyrusDrake likes this.
  11. GradBeo

    GradBeo Fapstronaut

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    Hi again SyriusDrake,

    Fully agreed! And thanks for also showing this side - Giving a realistic expectation has a better effect in the long run than all the quick-fix stories. Many of which are placebo - which is fine if it works.

    I'm also no chick magnet, my sexualty hasn't healed. But I just focus on the small improvements. I do believe that in the long run it's a very healthy life-style giving you more benefits over time. 30 days in is not a very long time and like you mentioned full recovery can take longer.

    Let's not fixate ourselves on short rewards but be happy about the better lifestyle. I wish you all the best!
     
    SyrusDrake likes this.
  12. Frühlingstimme

    Frühlingstimme Fapstronaut

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    Congratz for reaching 30 days, Syrus!

    I started only a few days earlier than you, and I really wish you keep those depressive thoughts aside and let's do this experiment until the end! I can predict your 90 days report will be much brighter and less moody.

    I actually started NoFap because of a over excited report. Take those lasting 60 days as an opportunity to learn what is setting you back in life -- it can be your mental state. Not everyone will feel better with the standard remedy meditation + nofap + exercise.

    The moment you start doubting of NoFap is your relapse taking control over you. I saw today a guy who decided to leave the forum after 120 days, and I didn't say anything because I think if he want to leave, he has that right. At least he did a full reboot. We too must keep going so at some day soon we will be able to say good bye to this forum or to start guiding the new folks to a steady path of no PMO.
     
  13. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

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    This is a much more realistic approach and I mostly agree. I feel a slight greater force within myself from nofap but i'm still the same person in a lot of ways. However I think and act differently and have a lot more confidence which I credit to nofap. I would also like to emphasize that nofap alone is not enough. I have found diet and exercise pair very well with nofap and cold showers. Also don't be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone especially talking to girls
     
    Tesslynne and GradBeo like this.
  14. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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    What is it with everyone and cold showers? /)6.9(\ I am prepared to give up sexual stimulation, take up exercise, cut down on my favorite treats but a nice, comfy warm shower is something I don't wanna miss, either to get up to operating temperature in the morning or to relax in the evening...
    Also, I mostly avoid talking to girls to be polite, not necessarily because it makes me uncomfortable.

    Happy to hear you liked it. I kinda like r/noFap because it's larger and more diverse than this forum and there is an occasional gem. But I mostly only read the main posts and not the comments these days.

    I'm currently seeing a psychiatrist and plan on talking to him about noFap next time. Even though we've had several appointments already, even he isn't quite sure yet what is causing my problems. This might take a lot longer than 60 days ^^'

    Thanks!
     
  15. Dziki007

    Dziki007 Fapstronaut

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    Gratulations on reaching 30 days. Superpowers from no fapp deveryone experiencing very diffrent, but never have doubt that it is 100% beneficial. Start maybe challenge, that when everytime you see girl try catch eye contact, with every girl you pass, you will notice how fun it is ;)
     
    Tesslynne likes this.
  16. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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    Yea, you've seen my other post about that.
    I tried that for a while a few weeks ago and most people either didn't even look at me or instantly looked away. It seems to make them uncomfortable.
     
  17. Dziki007

    Dziki007 Fapstronaut

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    Yes i know, most of they will feel uncomfortable but that is the fun part actually :D showing them that you are truly naturally comfortable to look them in the eyes, i mean not that creepy look when you stare at someone for 15 min on train which i noticed some guys doing when they see really beatiful girl, but just fast eye contact on the street, coffe shop etc.
     
  18. GradBeo

    GradBeo Fapstronaut

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    About your seeing a psychiatrist: I was seeing a sexuologist in 2012 and she did not believe the NoFap story (and o.k. I could have asked for a guy sexuologist, retrospectively) because many psychological practitioners can still be very conventional / conservative. They can only rely on proven science. NoFap is relatively new. Just to warn you beforehand to not expect too much support of this idea (and if he/she does support you're lucky :) )

    Cold showers >

    This is an exercise with imo two benefits related to NoFap. 1.) It's an exercise of discipline. If you're able to push yourself to do this, you will accomplish slightly more in your life and also you will accomplish abstinence more easily. 2.) You get a natural kick. Something I'm missing without PMO. After the shower I feel great. Because I accomplished it. Because it's healthy, and I'm feeling super awake.

    And on a more spiritual level, I see more clearly the relation between the pain of discipline and the feeling of reward. This simple exercise makes me feel a bit proud that I can do it. But it does take a lot of willpower - do you have that? ;)

    EDIT > This last thought might be concidered as an interesting contrast against PMO'ing. It does not require any discipline or pain to get the reward, but after you feel not so good :)
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2016
    Tesslynne and Dead Per like this.
  19. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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    No. Not when it comes to showers.
     
  20. h215

    h215 Fapstronaut

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    I totally agree with you bro.

    Congratz for reaching 1 month and keep going!

    My last streak was 37 days without P and M. I relapsed 2 days ago because in the last weeks I stoped doing the things that were helping me to have success in this journey, like reading YBOP, posting here, meditating and so on...

    So keep that in mind my friend, be aware that you must continue doing the things that help you in this process, otherwise we are fated to fail.

    All the best!
     
    GradBeo likes this.

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