Hi, I relapsed yesterday after 180 days. I am however feeling optimistic because of God's grace. I feel peace because I am forgiven. I hope you can forgive me too, since we are connected in one body. So I have sinned against you. When it comes to the relapse, I was stupid enough to play video games, which made me feel extremely tempted. Games have that effect on me, but I thought I could do this activity in moderation on a day of rest. But clearly I couldn't. Now I am more determined not to touch video games again. I have made this insight before, and talked about it, so the fact that I touched video games again was a bit hypocritical. Although, I don't necessarily tell others to stop games. These forums have been good for me, it is very good for me to write and self-reflect. So I will try to keep a journal. I want to thank all of you who have found freedom, who spend so much time helping others find it too (Tao Jones, Cpilot, timcia and maybe more?). This forum, is probably the best place on the internet because of you. Faith without works is dead. But your faith is not dead, for you have shown me your faith with your works.
As they say, nothing worthwhile comes easy. Your fall need not be a complete relapse into the pit but rather just a lesson, albeit a difficult lesson, on the path you were already on. I know this event is saddening to you, as it is to all of us, but you are still a new man. A man who desires to devote himself to God and to do His will. Be patient with yourself, learn from your mistakes and know that we all stand around you, even if you stumble, we are here to walk alongside you. We are all walking in the warm sunshine of God's love together. Look up and feel it on your face! May God bless you today and everyday.
Thanks Cpilot! The idea of this thread is for me to occasionally post updates of my life and faith, since I think it will help. So here's an overview of today: Spent most of the morning with God, I have to cleanse my mind aggressively to rid it of pornographic imagery. I do this with prayer, bible reading, and reflections I write down. I like to actively meditate on the word with a pen and paper. This has helped me to destroy temptation, and I hope to keep this up
I hope you will continue to visit here regularly and tell us how it is going. Take it for granted, we all want to see each other succeed and when one falls we are here to pick them up. There are many things that help me fight temptation, one of them is the knowledge that I am committed to be honest with this group about my actions and my feelings.
That's great to hear. You know, my streaks vastly improved when I found this group, so we really are a body. And a body needs multiple parts to function, we need each-other, and we need the head, the brain of the body, Christ. The head might think of using the hand to patch up a wounded leg. Today I fellowshipped with some other believers, people who are way more mature in the faith than I am, so it is a blessing to meet those people. There have been brief occasions of evil imagery popping up in my head today. I have fought it, by making sure God is my first priority in the day. So those images have been weak, destroyed, and not a threat. I hope they will one day disappear, or maybe better. If I could have the natural response of vomiting when bad thoughts pop up. I want to be repulsed by evil like God. And I hope to train this reflex by seeking God more diligently, but I wonder how much it will take.
I agree, my quest for freedom has been much more successful since I began reading and contributing to this site on a regular basis. Truly we are one body with Christ at the head. Stay in regular contact!
Today I was bothered by temptation. Nothing too serious, but annoying. It is something that should not be. I have increased my time with God, and it helps. I think God reliance is a bulletproof strategy. The only "flaw" is that you actually have to do it. I hope I won't deviate from how I should spend my days.
LOL, you hit the proverbial nail on the head. I think one of the most important lessons I learned is to monitor those habits that keep me free. When I see that my commitment to daily prayer is waning, I don't wait until I fall to take action for I know a fall is inevitable if I quit praying with my heart. When I see that I am letting my eyes linger on some temptation, I run to prayer and ask Jesus to fight my temptations. What a fool I was! I had to prove to myself through many, many falls, that I needed to monitor these things and take action before I sinned. I hope you learn more rapidly than I did.
This is it precisely. This is my hope for everyone here, too. Thanks for proclaiming helpful truth, my friend.
The last few days I have not been tempted. But today I am tempted, maybe because I didn't read the bible this morning like I usually do. This life is no joke, you have to seek God very aggressively to stay free. Being tempted is dangerous
We do not control when temptation comes or how often. But we know how to deal with temptation, every time it comes, and we trust that God will never allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear. Keep replacing every lie in your thinking with the truth. And do not be deceived: Every temptation contains a lie.
It's hard. I am still tempted but I know it can never truly satisfy me. But this knowledge doesn't seem to help, since it is more of an animalistic urge devoid of logic at play here. And I know true satisfaction and peace comes from God. But this knowledge isn't helping. It is comforting to know that there is a way out of temptation. And I believe 100% in the bible so I believe that. But emotionally urges can feel unbearable, which is my current situation. And it can intensely feel like there is no way out. Like the only option is to give in. I know it's a lie. But how do I fight emotions? Emotions don't care about logic. My flesh doesn't care about the truth.
During times of intense temptation, try praying to the Holy Spirit. Be honest with Him and tell Him about your temptation. Sit quietly and consider these things while with Him in prayer. When I do this, invariably the Spirit reveals to me the empty promises and the folly of my desires. He helps me see how superficial these things are and He reminds me of the feelings I would have if I were to give in to temptation. For the briefest instances of dopamine response, I would be left with disgust and shame. Perhaps this manner of prayer will be helpful to you too. May God bless your efforts today and everyday. Stay strong and keep practicing your protective habits. I guarantee, the intensity will wane if you do these things.
We walk by faith, not feelings. A feeling is just that -- a thing you feel. It is not a command to act. You do not need to *do* anything in response to a feeling, other than acknowledge it. As @CPilot has recommended, just sit quietly with the urge. Acknowledge that you are feeling it, then hand it over to Christ. Let him fight for you. You are not strong enough, anyway. Refuse to act on it until it has passed. Urges *always* go away, sooner or later. I have sat still like this for hours at a stretch, handing over every lie of temptation to Christ's Spirit for help in the fight. What you are describing is what we have all been through at one time or another. There is no road to freedom that does not lead through the pain of self-denial. We commit to doing whatever it takes to get free and stay free, no matter the cost. With Christ's help, we will emerge from this victorious.
Last few days have been easy in terms of temptation. Struggling with boredom since there isn't much to do in school now. Motivation to study and exercise is good. But motivation to do something useful with the rest of my time is low. Probably because I don't have something else I find interesting enough. Also having sleep issues, despite good sleep habits. I've had that for most of my life with brief intervals of good sleep. Insights or prayers are appreciated.
Cultivating interest in the ten thousand wonders of life is all part of our work as disciples. As the song says, "If you're bored than you're boring." Life is endlessly fascinating, but we may need new eyes to see and new hearts to understand that truth. Any time I have trouble sleeping, I use the wakeful time to hold vigil through the night. If the sleeplessness persists for more than 2-3 days, I will work more to ensure I go to bed exhausted. That has never failed to do the trick for me.
Tao's answer is a good one. Some of my best remedies for insomnia have involved saying the rosary with no intention or request other than thanking God. It often leaves me with a positive and peaceful state of calm and I awake happy and refreshed. In a more earthly sense, take a look at your diet and avoid food and drink in the evening which can cause spikes in blood sugar levels. It seems that our digestion process and its effects can have a large influence on sleepiness and sleeplessness.
Thanks guys, I know I should work more, I'm wondering how I can fill my days with work, my body can only exercise a certain amount before needing recovery. But I'll think of something. And in 2 weeks, there will be a lot of studying to do.
Yesterday I relapsed. I'm not sure why, usually I have an idea of what caused it, but not so much this time. I was tempted while studying, so I prayed, temptation decreased, went to the kitchen and ate, felt tempted, prayed. Went to the computer and relapsed. @XandeXIV made an article about the foundation, the rock we are supposed to dig down to. Maybe this is where inspection is needed. It's either that, or I need to modify how I deal with temptation. Or it's both. Last relapse I knew a change was to cut out video games, which I have. So now it's something else. And it's frustrating to not be sure of why I gave in.
